I just registered yesterday, and I'm a little bit scared, very happy, and also relieved. This has been my great secret since early childhood, when I first realized I could not be open about who I am. This secret has made me quite lonely.  Well, it has not been a complete secret. My parents and brothers and sisters knew I was confused about my identity and my wife of many years knows about my gender dysphoria in general terms. We have an adult son who lives with us, and he knows nothing about this – it is critically important for him, for his wellbeing, that he not know.

The posts I've seen on the forums are remarkable for their sensitivity and wisdom. I am so glad I found Susan's Place, and I hope to learn much from the community and someday provide some helpful words to members and visitors.

A big hello back to you!  It took me almost two months between registering and making my first post, so I completely know where you're coming from when you say you're scared.  You've taken a great  step in the right direction by coming here, and I hope you'll find all the answers you need in solving your identity.  See you around the boards

Hi SaskiaB,

Welcome to our little family. Over 11272. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

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But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Janet  )O(

Welcome to Susans

Hi SaskiaB

No reason to be shy

We are all nice people here!

I'm in Adelaide South Australia,

Welcome

Cindy

Thank you for the warm welcome, Anna, Ms. Obrien, Malachite, and Cindy - you are such nice people! Another nice person at Susan's Place even helped me when I messed up my Forum profile (email address) and fixed it some time today. If that person ever reads this, thank you many times. It is a privilege and an honor to be here!

Hi SaskiaB, welcome to Susan's Place! There's always room for new friends here. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: SaskiaB on May 18, 2013, 09:54:45 PM
I just registered yesterday, and I'm a little bit scared, very happy, and also relieved. This has been my great secret since early childhood, when I first realized I could not be open about who I am. This secret has made me quite lonely.  Well, it has not been a complete secret. My parents and brothers and sisters knew I was confused about my identity and my wife of many years knows about my gender dysphoria in general terms. We have an adult son who lives with us, and he knows nothing about this – it is critically important for him, for his wellbeing, that he not know.

The posts I've seen on the forums are remarkable for their sensitivity and wisdom. I am so glad I found Susan's Place, and I hope to learn much from the community and someday provide some helpful words to members and visitors.

Welcome from southern California!  Glad you found us Saskia.

You have no reason to be scared.  We are nice people and form a nice community.  The purpose of this site is support.

You have quite a conundrum.  Like me, you have lived your life, and have a spouse and kids, and have never had the opportunity to really be "yourself."  And from what you are saying, that issue will remain for the foreseeable future.

So, how can you express your inner self, without changing your outer self?  That is not easy to do.  But people in that position, long before cross-hormone therapy was developed, and long before sexual reassignment surgery existed, found way to cope with the dysphoria.

I did, unknowingly in way, for years.  I even wrote a blog about it.  You can likely turn to a more androgynous presentation, without violating the limits you have set for yourself.  The thing is, that dysphoria does not go away, and in my case, in increases with age.

I am sorry I could not give you better suggestions.

Thank you, Jamie D - and everyone in southern California!

Your suggestions are helpful. The historical perspective is important, and it reminds me that the most important part of us is on the inside. Androgynous presentation - that's pretty much me all of my life, without trying. However, it doesn't take much to make me look feminine, as when my hair gets longer (though mostly before most of it fell out). At the age of 26, when I said I might grow my hair long, my wife said I'd look like a girl, and when I said I could grow a mustache (to offset the long hair), she said I'd look like a girl with a mustache! My mother said my legs were shaped like girl's legs, and my sister said she "wanted my eyes." The people who told me these things had no idea how deep their words would go into my mind, and that these would become treasured compliments I'd never forget.

So, I have much to be thankful for.