For me Gender is quite complex and it isn't something that i can deal with just yet all i can say for now is that i feel more conformable wearing woman's clothing and i want to move towards a more feminine appearance.
i had my week to reflect and i just left me feeling unfulfilled. i know the general direction that i want to follow so at least i work towards something.

my parents live in a small town repetitively far away so i haven't lived at home since i left school. i still see them sometimes. they brought me up so they kinda know anyway but i'm at an age where they are no longer worried about my day to day life.

Mainstream support networks have been unhelpful and tend to be very cliquey and quite alienating to people who have not been involved with them before.

also I believe my age is listed publicly on my profile (i am not in my teens!)

The only gender related support group that i know of are very secretive in nature and i have not been able to contact them.
for now i am going to have to simply find support in other circles it is unfortunate but i  have to press on regardless.

Tried some minimal make-up today
i probably still have lots of work to do but I'm trying my best!

Here was my Introduction from April 1
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,138286.0.html

and another thread from later that month
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,138389.0.html

However as it turned out I was not satisfied with androgyny

as for the posting a photo in "You look fabulous Darling" i have first of all been reluctant to much to do with the MTF Threads because event though i feel like a woman on the inside it has not been verified by a professional and i am unlikely to be able to do so in the foreseeable future

i admit however i was considering posting one of the photos to the "The "Could I Pass One Day" Thread"

Quote from: Comrade Eva on May 20, 2013, 06:49:56 AM
The only gender related support group that i know of are very secretive in nature and i have not been able to contact them.
for now i am going to have to simply find support in other circles it is unfortunate but i  have to press on regardless.

Eva, we have several other New Zealanders on the site.  If you would like, I can have them contact you about support groups.  If that sounds good, send me a PM.

Quote from: Comrade Eva on June 19, 2013, 05:41:56 AM
Here was my Introduction from April 1
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,138286.0.html

and another thread from later that month
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,138389.0.html

However as it turned out I was not satisfied with androgyny

as for the posting a photo in "You look fabulous Darling" i have first of all been reluctant to much to do with the MTF Threads because event though i feel like a woman on the inside it has not been verified by a professional and i am unlikely to be able to do so in the foreseeable future
i admit however i was considering posting one of the photos to the "The "Could I Pass One Day" Thread"

Don't worry about that Eva. Really, I don't think you need a professional to tell you what you feel. Maybe to help you realize those feelings and to help you work through the feelings and to accept them.

BTW, in those three pictures you posted, that first one is really femme.

QuoteDon't worry about that Eva. Really, I don't think you need a professional to tell you what you feel. Maybe to help you realize those feelings and to help you work through the feelings and to accept them.

it took a while for that statement to sink in but i will see a professional in good time. my finances are very low so things can only move along very slowly for the time being i can still tolerate dressing like a boy for short periods of time so i don't have to come out to everyone just yet.

on a much brighter note i have managed to improve my make-up skills in the past week and i can easily wear make-up in public even when dressed as a boy. 

Quote from: Comrade Eva on June 22, 2013, 06:29:27 AM
it took a while for that statement to sink in but i will see a professional in good time. my finances are very low so things can only move along very slowly for the time being i can still tolerate dressing like a boy for short periods of time so i don't have to come out to everyone just yet.

on a much brighter note i have managed to improve my make-up skills in the past week and i can easily wear make-up in public even when dressed as a boy.

That's good. Don't forget to work on those facial expressions though to go with the makeup. Like I said before about the pictures, the first one shows an air of conficence, openess, warmness, and invitation. The bottom two kind of hint at a simmering loathfulness in general, uninviting, stay out of my mind and emotions type of atmosphere. There is 100% difference between femininity and masculinity between the top one and the bottom two as a mtter of fact it looks like two different people. Depending on what you are trying to achieve I think you got both covered pretty good.

Just an update people i am pretty much "dressed" full time now so this thread no longer serves much of a purpose as i guess it no longer counts as cross dressing when you do it all the time. thank you once again to anyone who helped me it was an interesting few months but i feel much happier about myself. 

That's good to hear 

Good for you!  Im glad everything is working out!  Wish you the best.