I was told on several occasions that in order to pass, I need to smile. I rarely smile, myself, so if this is true it presents a big problem to me.  What I don't understand about this is, what is feminine about not smiling? Why is smiling considered a female trait? Aren't there girls who don't smile as well?

there are girls who don't smile. they are often shunned. a smile has many functions, it is a very welcoming gesture, one that seeks social contact, tries to please or disarm, or soothe among others. a warm smile is likely to make people happy, feel at ease, and it can cover up a lot of imperfections. this is true for guys as well. they tend to smile less often, but when they do, it makes me feel really good. a smile can be contagious, so if you smile even when you're insecure, people will easily think everything's in perfect order, forget to notice any broad shoulders or angular features, and just smile back at you thinking you're just the person you present yourself as.

i don't know if smiling is a typical feminine trait. many women do it to be nice, but an open smile can get her a lot of unwanted attention, whereas a more resigned one will just make people feel ok. and i think a fake smile is something many have learned to produce through social programming. girls are often expected to smile, so they do. at least that's what i do, i've perfected my fake smile, but unfortunately that makes me unable to tell people off convincingly. never got the opportunity to learn how to express negative feelings in a natural way, but i think that has more to do with my parents than the rest of society.

There are plenty of girls that don't smile,  but a smiling happy girl is prettier than a grumpy one and a smile makes everyone look more confident and self assured and those are the key traits of passing.  Add to that a grumpy cis girl still has plenty of other female indicators on her side so we all don't think she's unhappy, she must be a man.  I know I have a real problem with smiling and whilst I know I never look truly happy I know that when my confidence wanes and I'm distracted because my feet are hurting in shoes I don't get to wear enough, that will be when I start to be noticed by those around me and it all goes down hill form there lol.

End of the day though its not the smile that will get you to pass but the self confidence it projects, if you can project that self confidence without the smile you will have just as much success, its just a bit harder to do.

I'm not sure, I smile a lot; now. He didn't.

I get a lot of social intercourse and people gravitate and talk to me and I'm always pleasant and open and take time to have a few words with people who open to me.

I have to admit that the people in the places I shop and go to regularly always seem pleased to see me. We always have a chat and yes I'm smiling.

Passing or acceptance?

I'm not sure but either are good as far as I'm concerned.

When I'm training and can't get weights on or off machines I ask a guy, Hi can you help me please with a smile and no one has ever refused to help me. I'm not sure what reaction I would get if I was a small guy with that attitude - and please that is not meant as any insult to small guys - but guys will do stuff for woman when you smile and ask and look a bit helpless. I think it's genetic.

So smiling will not harm, but I'm put off by people who look sour. Unless they are a friend and I then know they have a problem and I'll help them.

Yeah that's a good one that.

*laughs*

I mean let's stop and think about this for a minute. You're out there and the make up is on a bit thick, you see people staring at you so you smile, and all of a sudden you pass?

Have you ever tried to control a facial expression? Try it. Get a camera and set it on the self timer. Let's see if you can take say five consecutive pictures with the same facial expression.

But you don't even have to do that. Just go outside and take a good look at the people walking down the street (everyone). Then take another look at people using public transport. Then if you've got the time peer through the windscreens of cars and take a look at the drivers.

I'll put good money on the vast majority of people not smiling but having blank or neutral facial expressions.

If you do see someone walking down the street smiling you will notice them. You will notice them because from infancy we're all conditioned to recognize facial expressions and a smile is an emotional reaction.

In fact if someone is walking past you smiling you're probably going to stop and wonder why they're smiling, and wonder if they're smiling at you.

So if passing is all about blending in and not attracting unnecessary attention to yourself, and smiling draws people's attention to you, then how can smiling be essential to passing?

smiling isn't essential at all. but i do believe it helps a little if people you meet are in doubt. a smile is reassuring, even if it's you the doubt is about.

Smiling helps for me. Makes my cheeks look fuller and my eyes look bigger.

Yeah, I think women smile a bit more, which makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, being as it was important for us to form positive emotional bonds. These are the same reasons that women tend to be better at reading emotions and detecting lies and such.

Also, I have noticed myself a while ago that smiling makes the jaw line look more oval, and the cheeks plumper which is definitely a good thing for feminising.

It's not essential, but it definitely helps with me and I strongly suspect others would find the same.

This is all anecdotal though.

Steph x

I dunno if it will help you pass or not, but people tend to react poorly to women who don't smile.

It's kind of a misogynistic thing tho, so whether or not you choose to alter anything based on that is really up to you. Just google "telling women to smile" and you'll see a lot of this crap.

8^/

I agree with Mayonnaise: women are expected to smile more.

When I used to present as female, I would often have strangers in the streets telling me to 'cheer up' because I wasn't smiling inanely. It seems that (at least here in the UK) there is a societal expectation that women should smile at all times. 

Does it help with passing as female? I couldn't really say... but I do know that even now that I present full-time as male, I'm more likely to get 'madamed' if I smile at someone than if I just look like my usual glum self. So it probably wouldn't hurt to try.

In order to pass you must have a smile on twenty four seven.  If you don't look like  at all times, you will be outed.   

Seriously, it really doesn't matter too much.  As others have said, confidence is part of passing and people are more likely to smile when they are confident.  Just be you.  I've seen people with fake smiles and they seem phony.  Some people aren't like that and it isn't a big deal.  There are plenty of women who don't constantly smile.  I think being you and expressing yourself as you want is what's most important.   

No. I almost never smile... and "pass" just fine. As of matter of fact, people that smile all the time worry me. Is life really that funny and exciting?

It won't prevent you from passing, but as already mentioned, a smile can help since women do smile more. It's also the female equivalent of the 'head nod'. Women smile at each other in acknowledgement as they pass.

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 05:24:58 PM
No. I almost never smile... and "pass" just fine. As of matter of fact, people that smile all the time worry me. Is life really that funny and exciting?

That is so backwards.

I've never been much of a smiler and after all these years it shows like (grumpy old bastard) so I'm working on smiling a lot more and oddly enough I have a lot of men and women smiling back at me. It's like the curtain just went up for me, smiling is good! I get smiles from girls and my thoughts instantly go to "Oh how sweet!"

Life is great, I smile often, then I think life is great and I smile again.  It's reinforcing... the smile that is.

I don't trust people who have yet to face real adversity, but I love and respect those who have and still smile.

I will also say it will not keep you from passing.  But I think it does help.  A smile just helps to make everyone feel better including the smiler. and I also believe women smile more than men.  I have trouble producing a fake smile though.  Maybe it looks OK to the beholder but it doesn't feel like I look good to me.  I do smile easily though and I can always come up with a thought that will bring on a grin in a pinch.