Hi all I'm new to this forum and was sent here by my boyfriend. He has been using this forum as he begins his transition and thought it would be a good place for me to go. He came out as trans to me about six months ago and things have been fairly smooth including my parents supporting him and us. However I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm a bit conflicted as to what to say with regards to my relationship, I live in a kind of small town Texas and I have a feeling it will come up. I don't use male pronouns full time or his male name, partially due to me not wanting to say the wrong thing in front of my step kids (this is all still a little new). I'm feeling that I should just go ahead and use the male pronouns but I'm worried I'll get myself tripped up.

Thank you Ashley

Hi and Welcome,

I'm not sure about the rules in the USA but where I am (Australia) you basically cannot ask questions about private matters such as relationships. They having nothing to do with the employer.

If I was asked such a question I would ask what relevance it had to the position.

Similar to 'are you pregnant?'  No damn business of there's.

Hugs and Welcome

Cindy

I agree with Cindy.

When I was a hiring manager, I never asked personal questions (i.e. religion, family, politics, etc), because such questions were (1) none of my concern, and (2) put me and the company in a position of being accused of unlawful discrimination.

Well, even if they shouldn't ask, they probably will, small town employers generally want to know if you are married and/or have kids. Sometimes they even want to know if you have roommates.

They generally want to know these things so they can figure out how much they can get away with paying you. A married woman without kids would work at a place where her salary doesn't have to cover all of the expenses of the household. It is a subtle form of discrimination and part of the reason men get paid more for equal work, since a married man is assumed to support his wife at least partially.

If it comes up and you feel that saying "it's none of your business" would make you seem unfriendly just don't volunteer information. For example when work asked me if i were married I just said yes. I didn't mention names, gender, if we were together, separated,etc.

If you give really short answers devoid of content people know not to push, but don't feel put out as they would if you refused to talk to them.

Anyone who asks these questions is in serious danger of breaking multiple laws. I can not beleive any medium size corporation or any business that likes making money and not defending themselves from class action lawsuits would ask these questions. And you certainly can't ask if someone has kids. It's like that Simpsons episode where Homer tries to join the Army and keeps mentioning not being gay and the recruiter starts closing his ears with his fingers. You are not allowed to ask. Any business that does is totally unprofessional IMO.