Malapropisms.

When you something and it comes out not quite right. In fact down right wrong.

Like today when I asked for a decapitated coffee.

And you have said ......?

Columbus circumcised the world in a forty foot clipper

When I was in my early 20s, I told a colleague (who was infamous for her malapropisms) that I was saving up to go travelling.

She said: "Ooh, what a great idea! You could do what a lot of young people today are doing: you could move to Switzerland and become an on par! Or better yet, you could move to Israel and join a caboose!"

I must admit, the mental picture of a 'caboose' in Israel, with a bunch of young adults milling around it carrying spades & pickaxes & stuff, had me in stitches.

I went to a DQ (Dairy Queen) with my mother and she said to the girl at the counter, "Can I get a chocolate d*ck cone?".

You should have seen the girl's reaction...O.O

A colleague said that he always had a ->-bleeped-<- when he went to the hairdresser 

Quote from: sandrauk on May 22, 2013, 04:53:51 PM
A colleague said that he always had a ->-bleeped-<- when he went to the hairdresser

I have to admit I told a friend that my hairdresser had told me to call him when I had a hot date and he would give me a ->-bleeped-<- to make me look good

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 22, 2013, 10:40:27 AM
I went to a DQ (Dairy Queen) with my mother and she said to the girl at the counter, "Can I get a chocolate d*ck cone?".

You should have seen the girl's reaction...O.O

I knew what a DQ was!

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 22, 2013, 05:55:47 PM
I knew what a DQ was!

I wasn't sure if DQ existed in the U.S.

There's one about two miles from here. It closes in the winter.

When I was a teenager my best friend had just been dumped by her boyfriend, so we planned to go out clubbing to get him out of her system. She wanted to party hard, so she said "Tonight, we're going to go out & paint this town organza!"

(I didn't have the heart to tell her that 'organza' is a fabric. She meant 'magenta'. Bless!)