Quote from: Kiwi4Ever on May 21, 2013, 11:04:05 PM
...It seems different people choose to give out different messages.


Which is their right.  My point is I thought the object of the exercise was to become something else...in this case female.  So why would you insist people know your "trans"?  It seems to defeat the purpose.

In the case of the other person (who looked totally masculine) who also had SRS, I was shocked when I first met her and whenever she was around me.  There just wasn't anything female to relate to (apart from her clothes)

What I learned from this is that everyone is different, and just because someone has had SRS or their breasts "done" it doesn't mean they want to live necessarily as female, perhaps it's a form of attention seeking?  A mental health issue or a personality disorder?

Kia Ora Kiwi4ever,

Many moons ago mental health professionals would refuse to give the go ahead for trans-"identifiable"[where ones birth sex is still quite obvious even after being on HRT for a while] to have genital surgery, thinking it was not in the trans-person's 'best' interest, that is they would not cope in society...

However times have changed and mental health professionals are more enlightened when it comes to gender identity and no longer[well for the most part they try not to] knock a person back because they don't "pass"...They now realise for many trans-people it's not all about passing it about having their genital match their psycho-gender identity...

It's quite possible the obviously trans identifiable person you saw in Thailand had suffered from gender dysphoria just as much has the 'passable' one had...And even though they might still challenge society's concept of gender, they have found some inner peace...

"Different strokes for different folks !" Relief can come in many different forms...

BTW are you in the Nth Or Sth island ?

Metta Zenda

BTW are you in the Nth Or Sth island ?

Metta Zenda
[/quote]

In the North Island.

Quote from: Kiwi4Ever on May 22, 2013, 12:40:00 AM

BTW are you in the Nth Or Sth island ?

Metta Zenda


In the North Island.

Kia Ora Kiwi4ever,

Are you a JAFA ?

I should add the 'F' in this case stands for "Fabulous" and not the not so fabulous f word...
Metta Zenda

Sorry about nipping at this thread, and perhaps it has been mentioned before (I had no time to read all the comments, sorry)

But going stealth is by no means betrayal. In my eyes, forcing yourself to not go stealth is betrayal to yourself. You ARE a woman. Nothing else. Yes, you had a medical condition that your body did not match the average description of a woman, but you fixed that.  It's been done and over with, so live your life as the lady you are.

The word "completely" is what throws everything askew.

Stealth to me is just a state of mind, it means you live your life without broadcasting your status.  It doesn't mean some people won't know, family, close friend, will always know, but so what.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on May 22, 2013, 10:27:50 AM
The word "completely" is what throws everything askew.

Stealth to me is just a state of mind, it means you live your life without broadcasting your status.  It doesn't mean some people won't know, family, close friend, will always know, but so what.

BTW I pretty much have no contact with family, my mother will only talk to me once a year, sends a card on birthday and christmas, and I am unwelcome in her home. I have no other family. Also at this point I have really no friends, no one I could really trust with the the truth, as I move to the new city I may develop some, I am making connections with the gay community (which is proper I am lesbian)

Quote from: vegie271 on May 22, 2013, 11:11:35 AM

BTW I pretty much have no contact with family, my mother will only talk to me once a year, sends a card on birthday and christmas, and I am unwelcome in her home. I have no other family. Also at this point I have really no friends, no one I could really trust with the the truth, as I move to the new city I may develop some, I am making connections with the gay community (which is proper I am lesbian)

Just remember, even those friends that you make in the future don't have to know about your status.  Once everything is said and done, the only people who will know about my transition in my personal life are those who have to know.  Why should you tell anyone if you are not comfortable with it?  Don't feel bad about being stealth.  Most of us just want to live our lives as a woman and not be reminded of our medical past.  There is no shame or betrayal in that. 

Quote from: StellaB on May 21, 2013, 11:31:08 AM
Oh for crying out loud... What 'cause'? I can't help thinking that some people really enjoy or need the persecution and enjoy being victims.

I'm openly trans but this doesn't mean I walk around with a sign round my neck with big letters proclaiming 'trans'. I'm not openly trans to carry any sort of banner or torch it's just a small part of who I am, I've overcome all the discrimination and prejudice, it doesn't bother me now and in fact it's not even a topic of discussion but something which is private and personal to me.

People know me as Stella, and I can put good money on the fact that, if you were to ask them, the first thing they will tell you about me would be something about my work, what I'm like as a person, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be that I'm trans.

It might come as a surprise to a few but the vast majority of people don't really have an issue with someone who is trans. They've got far more important things to think about.

Look, nobody else is living your life, they're not you, nobody else walks your path in life, and if you find it better to live in complete stealth then do so. It's your life and you've got the right to live your life the way you want to without needing the approval or validation from anyone else.

Life is too short to live on the basis of an opinion poll on what other people think.

I have no real life experience as a girl yet, but I agree a lot to this.  Thinking of being a transsexual as wearing a mask is just utterly degrading... you shouldn't HAVE to tell people you are, because being a trans means you've swapped, in most cases, to your correct inner gender. So now you are visually equal to what you are internally. So, you're a girl. They don't have to know any more than that if you don't want them to.
I kind of wish to be stealth, but to an extent. As I have the support of most all of my family, there are still going to be some open ends that I'm going to have to live with.  People don't have to know if you don't want them to.  You're a girl, the end. No shame in that.

Quote from: Sierra Belle on May 22, 2013, 05:58:32 PM
I have no real life experience as a girl yet, but I agree a lot to this.  Thinking of being a transsexual as wearing a mask is just utterly degrading... you shouldn't HAVE to tell people you are, because being a trans means you've swapped, in most cases, to your correct inner gender. So now you are visually equal to what you are internally. So, you're a girl. They don't have to know any more than that if you don't want them to.
I kind of wish to be stealth, but to an extent. As I have the support of most all of my family, there are still going to be some open ends that I'm going to have to live with.  People don't have to know if you don't want them to.  You're a girl, the end. No shame in that.

:)What a wonderful insight you have young lady to what this process should be about.  I hope you will have the financial resources to use (if you wish) to match the attitude you have