I don't think the dearth of information in 2001 is quite right. I discovered what to do about my GID via the internet in '94 by browsing the USENET forums. It was yesteryear's equivalent of Susan's. My indelible messages are still public, yikes. Granted, computers were a bit more unwieldy and unfriendly back then, but by 2000 PCs were common place and the internet was exploding with information about GID. An Altavista, or even Google search, would have brought thousands of hits. But certainly, there was nothing as user friendly as today's YouTube or Susan's.

I do feel pretty stupid I didn't figure out how to do it in 2000. I really have no excuse. My main problem was money and I was going to join the army to finance it but went to school instead and get straight As just so I could up my chances of gettign a great job. In 2008, I had the money and when I got this big raise the first thought in my mind was "I won. I can finally get SRS. I did it." But for whatever reason I kept putting it off and then was violently assaulted and nearly murdered and that set my transition back to today. I try not to think about it because I could have done this so long ago.

Really the main thing was my ex. She knew I was trans and she proposed to me anyway. She asked me. And I would always tell her "are you sure? I want to transition." And she would say "yes, I'm sure. even if we never have sex again that way I will always love you more then you will ever know." She even used to tell people I was her girlfriend and that I was a woman who was born with a birth defect. But then at the very end of our relationship when people would mistake me for a woman or comment on how feminine I am, she changed. She started saying things like "yeah it really scares me sometimes how he is." When I dressed up as Miss America (her idea) for halloween she was going to put extensions in my hair but then backed out and was like it won't look like a costume you will look like a GG. People still thought I was GG and some guy hit on me. That's when I think she really realized what she was getting into.

She never said she left me for being trans but with the way she was treating me I do think it was a big part. And it annoys me because I was so honest and so forthcoming and she led me to believe it was okay and then she left me and that destroyed me for a long time. A really long time. Hell I had to stop writing this cause I broke down crying. After that I tried for a long time to win her back by telling her I was not trans that I just said that cause I thought she liked it. But honestly I became best friends with this girl who is really trans friendly and she wanted me to move in with her and she knew I wanted to transition so I have no excuses. I messed up. But that was only five years ago so it is water under the bridge and I am transitioning now and I'll get the money for SRS so it is what it is. I would like to see me ex again. I miss her and I think we could be friends now I mean it's not like I even want to get with her she is not as manly as she was so I need a man or a really butch girl.

Wow, you've gone through such a lot. Your relationship with your ex doesn't seem to have been so healthy though. You know, if you were still with her today, you may have never decided to transition. She does sound quite manipulative. God knows what would have happened to me if I had got into any relationship before transition. But relationships didn't interest me as a male and the ones I did manage were all platonic.

You haven't lost too much time and you have a precious gift. Male puberty seems to have been very kind to your body. I do think that you're going to do really well, Joanna.

I remember thinking something like, "Oh well I was born a boy I'll just have to be a boy," between the ages of 5 and 7 years old. That would've been between 1974 and 1976. Around the age of 12 is when I used to wish and pray that I'd get a bizarre disease where the only life saving option would've been a sex change. That would've been in 1981.

No YouTube. No Susans. No Carla's Boutique in San Jose. I was so ignorant I didn't even know which questions to ask.

If I hadn't gotten married at 19 and had gone to college instead, I would've been exposed to more than what I'd seen so far in 13 years of Catholic school. It's possible I would've started transition a long time ago. But I had a family to provide for: I'm 19.5 years older than my son, and about 22 years older than my daughter. For me, transition was delayed because as a parent I felt that what I wanted for my life just didn't matter compared to what my kids needed.

I began transition when my youngest was 18.

5 June 2013 will be 2 years HRT for me. Sure, I wish the results were faster as I still don't quite have A-cup breasts. But things are happening, even if they are happening slowly. I've encountered articles that imply starting sooner is better and that it doesn't matter how long one's body has been poisoned by testosterone. I guess it really just depends on the individual.

Quote from: Nicolette on May 25, 2013, 02:48:02 PM
Wow, you've gone through such a lot. Your relationship with your ex doesn't seem to have been so healthy though. You know, if you were still with her today, you may have never decided to transition. She does sound quite manipulative. God knows what would have happened to me if I had got into any relationship before transition. But relationships didn't interest me as a male and the ones I did manage were all platonic.

You haven't lost too much time and you have a precious gift. Male puberty seems to have been very kind to your body. I do think that you're going to do really well, Joanna.

It prob wasn't too healthy at all. Her mom said it was some weird kind of co-dependency. I lived with her and her parents for most of the relationship because my parents treat me like dirt. Actually they treat dirt better. You're right though if we were still together I would not be transitioning. She straight up told me no not ever. And when we broke up that was the first thing I thought of: well at least I can transition now.

Thanks though I guess puberty wasn't too hard on me! I can't wait to get past this awkward period and pass a whole lot better. That will be awesome.

Hey Riversong,

Nice name BTW.  I christened a favorite old sailboat "River Song."  Speaking of old, you have a great opportunity for success and as a 60+ yo HRT is working sweetly to assist my transition.  Like Constance I always felt my kids, wife, and family came first and back in the 1950s-1960s there was no internet and only a rare headline about anything other than the straight life.  Thanks for posting your pics and good luck with what appears to be a very passable future.

This is what I know from hormones, Of course the younger you are the better they will work, like say for male pattern baldness that wont happen to you because your starting early before that kicks in. However some older trans people have seen good things happen.

I started hormones in 2002 and have been on them since now 2013. With no bottom surgery thus yet. I started in my early 20's and am now 33 of age. Iv had no FFS though some have thought so in the past. And I have no real reason to mess with my face was born with a pretty decent face. Though have always wanted a smaller nose but doubt that will ever happen.

I would not worry about anything.

Mira I started when I was 22 and I'm now 23 I'm two weeks shy of my 11 month mark...sweetheart yu should see the attention I get from men...dnt fret chica yu will do just fine just make sure yu start working on your voice gud luck