Ever since my wife finally decided she needed to transition we have been taking baby steps forward. She's come out to a few close friends; we plan to go to a support group meeting next week; we've tracked down a gender therapist to call and set up an appt; I've prettified her feet, shaved her back and chest, and she's started trying to regrow her bald spot. The next thing she plans to do is shave her beard tonight. It's something I've been urging her to do, but now that the time is at hand, I'm actually a little sad! I will, admittedly, miss the beard. I think I'm actually more hung up about her losing the beard than her penis!

Anyway, I don't know what it is. I guess maybe it's because I was the one who urged her to grow it, not long after we first met. It's not like she ever really took care of it either; it was always kind of a shaggy mess! But I liked it, and even though I'm usually more attracted to women anyway, I love beards! I loved her beard!

What about you guys? What was it that hit you, weirdly, emotionally, about the whole transition?

That's really touching

It is. It's taken my wife some getting used to me being clean shaven. I think the beard, more than anything else (yes, even the dangly bits) represents masculinity, so shaving it off is like cutting Samson's hair. I find it absolutely adorable that you're so supportive and encouraging, and it'll help her with her transition more than you know.

That may be a factor with me. I don't generally shave my facial hair clean and never have.

The reason is I always intended to get this sorted out eventually and didn't want to have to deal with leathery skin.

My wife considers the loss of my facial hair a benefit in all of this.  She's taken to smooth legs and torso too.  Her biggest concern on the loss of physical characteristics front is my voice changing.

Quote from: ashley_thomas on May 24, 2013, 07:43:05 AM
My wife considers the loss of my facial hair a benefit in all of this.  She's taken to smooth legs and torso too.  Her biggest concern on the loss of physical characteristics front is my voice changing.

I also dig the smooth legs and torso! My wife's voice is already pretty high compared to other men--not much deeper than mine. I think she's been semi-consciously trying to raise it for years. She can get  her voice down to a really low, raspy growl, which is how her father sounds, and probably more in line with her "natural" voice.

Quote from: Shodan on May 23, 2013, 04:00:40 PM
It is. It's taken my wife some getting used to me being clean shaven. I think the beard, more than anything else (yes, even the dangly bits) represents masculinity, so shaving it off is like cutting Samson's hair. I find it absolutely adorable that you're so supportive and encouraging, and it'll help her with her transition more than you know.

That's an interesting thought, that the beard really represents masculinity.  It makes a lot of sense.

Quote from: spacial on May 23, 2013, 02:01:08 PM
That's really touching

Thanks! I don't think that I'm really doing anything special; I'm just loving and supporting the person I married, like I promised I would. I find it alarming how many people are so put off by the idea of their spouse changing genders. I mean, I guess it is a major adjustment on a lot of fronts, I can't deny that. But when you pledge your life to someone I don't see it as being so conditional. You married a whole person not just their anatomy.

My ex, although she has always been very supportive and treated me as myself, was really emotional at the thought of me losing my voice. She didn't care about my boobs going or me having a penis, or about being seen as a straight woman, but the voice really bothered her. Even though she knew it had to happen for everyone else to see me as male, she already saw me for myself, and to her, my voice was like...you know, the voice that said "I love you" and so on. I remember when my voice finally dropped into the male range. We had been broken up for about a year and a half, but I sent her a video and she admitted that even then, it made her emotional to hear that my voice was gone. She was, of course, happy for me, but it was hard on her.

We joke a lot about what we think will be. Usually small things like using a purse instead of pockets or changing the "evil pappa" song he sings to our cats (yes we are strange, dorky people).  I think a lot about what it will geninuely turn out to be . Something I least expect I'm sure.
As far as the stubble, my sensitive skin and I are glad to see that come to an end.

I completely agree with a beard representing masculinity.  There is something to me that a beard says "man" vs "boy" and all the associated emotions and thoughts with that.

My spice, C, was attempting a mountain man beard until approximately a week before she came out to me.  It was scraggly and patchy,  but it was slowly growing on me.  Seeing the pictures of her with beard and without (long distance relationship    ) drove everything home for me.   The initial coming out conversation I handled well (I thought) , but the stark contrast of the bearded visage I had become accustomed to and the clean shaven eye shadowed nymph just slammed everything home all at once. 

As much as I love a man who has a well groomed beard though, her joy is infectious .  At least, until she starts moping about shaving so much.  The distance prevents me from experiencing the stubble firsthand, and I'm not sad about that part. Very much looking forward to her being able to utilize a more permanent hair-removal solution, as I thing it will greatly help her confidence.
I also agree about a beard signifying masculinity, but to be honest, it never suited her.  Not now, and not when we were teens.

My SO just had the first laser hair treatments a couple weeks ago. There has been a noticable reduction in how fast the beard grows which is fabulous. The patchiness of it certainly made it all real. I had a moment of moarning when I saw the handful of dead stubble that had fallen out but then the smile that beamed down on it erased the feeling away entirely.