Quote from: vegie271 on May 29, 2013, 09:20:28 AM
DID YOU NOT READ WHAT I SAID? I WAS RAPED! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY! it was 12:30 in the afternoon on a sunday. I was 1 and 1/2 blocks away from home walking towards the store. Minding my own business when this man walked up to me and started talking to me, he puts his hand around my shoulder, then the next thing I know, my shorts are being torn off and he sees that I am not cis gendered and he starts beating the tar out of me!
BESIDES when does anyone have the right to attack a woman EVER in any situation!. Is the rape culture a good thing?
I'm very sorry. I had only very skimmed through your post, for one (it may not be a very nice thing to do, but I have a strong tendency to skip any post with a changed font and/or colour), and also, however irresponsible that kind of thinking might be, I just thought you were the super unlucky one in a million. I'm really sorry; I didn't mean to anger you.
Quote from: kyh on May 29, 2013, 10:46:10 AM
On the topic of feeling less safe going out as a girl...
I actually feel safer going out now, because I'm not seen as a feminine gay guy (which so many guys in my neighbourhood hate and would bother me for) anymore. Now I'm just a 'regular' person minding her own business.
Uh-huh! I completely agree. The only times I was insulted or otherwise disrespected in my whole life were when I was still supposed to be a guy. Now I'm kind of in an in-between stage, still, but I see a clear difference.
The only times I was disrespected in the last months were when a passerby read me as male and called me a ->-bleeped-<-ing ->-bleeped-<-got behind my back, and when I ran out in a hurry, when it was over 25 degrees, making the horrible mistake of wearing but a t-shirt on my upper body. For pretty much the first time of my life, I had very weird looks that made me feel like dying right on the spot.
Right now, my somewhat girly face, long hair and lower body very much contrast with my masculine upper body, absence of breasts and big, hairy arms I'm not doing anything about because professional waxing is so expensive and needs to be done so often, and my dexterity doesn't allow me to do it myself. A coat in the summer when it's 25 degrees? Hell yeah! >_> My life sucks.
Quote from: Steph21 ♡♡♡ on May 29, 2013, 11:26:11 AM
You don't have to do anything special, just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you seriously don't feel danger or understand where it comes from, then you are either incredibly lucky in where you live, or really really need to take more care. When something happens to you, you realise that you have to watch out. I think most of us live in places where that stuff happens fairly regularly, but I suppose others might not. Incidence of violent attacks against trans folk is a lot higher and so I feel much more vulnerable when I am out.
Firstly women gain a lot more attention on the street and there is a good chance that there can be problems when they realise that they are directing their attention to a MTF.
Is it a legitimate fear? Well, the fact being attacked by a gang of men has happened to me before, tells me it is. I don't even think that I live in a particularly bad area. But I don't know that many places that people don't get attacked, stabbed, killed and stuff; anywhere. I know some people who have never had it happen to them though and so they assume it doesn't and don't look for danger and take suitable action.
Just be safe.
That was interesting, thanks. I think my life has mostly trained me to stay calm and not worry about things in general, because it has served me better in the past, and I don't react well to fear at all. I'm not really able to be afraid of something yet still bear it like normal people. I'm sort of, either terrified and careless. Since my fears have pretty much only caused me harm in my life (by ruining my life in anxiety or avoidance and the feared event never happening), I guess I'm conditioned not to fear, and to see fear as undesirable.
I guess the way I am is much more advantageous... until you get unlucky and something you should have feared happens, that is. But for me, fear is so devastating that I think I'll just stay the way I am and hope nothing too awful happens. It's not like I don't take the basic precautions either, so at least I'm not running into danger like a fool.
Also, I think most women are a lot more at risk than me. Right now, I may pass most of the time, but as much older than I really am, and I'm not remotely sexy. My girlfriend finds me beautiful, but she's pretty much the only one and I accuse a very strong bias. Since crimes on women (when you define "crimes on women" as "crimes on women that wouldn't have happened if the victim had been a guy") are generally motivated by lust, I guess being unattactive helps. Hey, if ugliness can have an advantage, I'll gladly take it.
