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Difficult question...

Started by mavieenrose, June 24, 2007, 05:02:25 AM

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mavieenrose

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry to bring this up as it's a difficult and upsetting issue to consider, but I sometimes wonder how I'd react if one day I found out I had breast cancer and had to undergo a mastectomy.

Breast cancer is horrendous and traumatic for any woman, but I can't help thinking that for me as a trans-woman it could be disastrous.  It might feel like I was going backwards towards my old body shape that I so disliked.  I'm just not sure how I would cope...

What are other girls' feelings on this?

MVER XXX

  •  

Keira


I don't even want to think about it.
Try to tell me that TS have less chance of it.

But, we probably have a bigger risk than males (especially after 10-20 years of HRT) and their risk is not zero, so it can happen.

My aunt lives 2 doors away, she has breast cancer, they found it kind of late and it was aggressive (for her age, she's 65). She had double mastectomy, chemo + radio, etc... 6 months later, found it metastized to her liver... Now, she's on quasi permanent chemo treatment, takes tons of shots, and probably won't live more than 5 years!!

I'd prefer an early detection + a mastectomy, than risk having it spread everywhere. Its the spreading everywhere that really terrorizes me. I shudder!  :(


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mavieenrose

That's awful Keira, I'm so very sorry to hear about your aunt, that's terrible for her and your family.

I think your answer to my question has in fact already helped me put my fears very much n perspective; in the end it's so much more a matter of life and death than just pure aesthetics.

With hindsight I feel a little bad for bringing up the question, but it is something I think of sometimes and I can't help thinking that just the mere suggestion I might have to lose one or both breasts would make me totally lose it mentally.  I fought hard to get to where I am today and I think it would seem like the ultimate kick in the teeth.

In the end only those who've ever been through such a trauma, or have accompanied loved ones through it, can really have any idea of how you might react.

MVER XXX


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Ms Bev

The thought of a mastectomy terrifies me.
On the other hand, I feel that my transition may have saved my life anyway, and that transition is more than breasts.  If that were to happen to me, I would still have breasts, even if they had to be the best money could buy, and I wouldn't feel any less female.

Bev
1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy
  •  

KarenLyn

I'm not sure how I'd react. I'm already nervous because I've got mastalgia (breast pain). I've had an ultrasound because there's no way I could stand a mammogram at this time. The ultrasound was negative and my doctor says there's not much to be done but to wait and see.

Karen Lyn
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mavieenrose

Quote from: regina on June 24, 2007, 09:33:04 PM
I lost one of my closest friends to breast cancer last year. She died at 46 years old and had a 9-year old son survive her. I had been through two different bouts of cancer with her and, just from going through that experience, even second hand, I could imagine my gender issues might actually take a back seat if I were in her shoes. After her first round of breast cancer 6 years ago, her doctor told her she didn't need a mastectomy. She was conflicted. They obviously missed a few cells and it returned three years later in  metastatic form. She had huge regrets about not having her rightbreast and lymph nodes removed. How can anyone know how they'd react in that situation until you're there. I just miss her so very much.

I'm very sorry to hear that, you must all have suffered so very much...

Quote from: regina on June 24, 2007, 09:33:04 PM
I just feel fortunate that if I get to live another 10-15 years as a woman. It will have made some sense of my otherwise screwy life.

ciao,
Gina M.

Yes I think your approach is a good one Gina; it's always much better trying to focus on the positives in life, rather than on the negatives, plus given that no transition can often mean no future at all, any life we will have grabbed and enjoyed must be a very definite bonus.

I suppose it's just that I'm 38, I've been oestrogen 15 and a half years now and I'm becoming increasingly aware of the potential risks of longterm HRT.  It's not that I often think of the dangers, but I admit that I do occasionally (at the very least when I'm doing a breast exam).

If someone told me tomorrow I had to lose a breast I do think this could spark in me a very extreme reaction, as I just could never imagine losing the female body I now have. Unlike when I was younger, I no longer think about my body (I imagine that's what how most people are in the world...) and to see my body image change would I'm sure feel to me like I was in some way going backwards towards what I once was.

Of course, it's illogical.  Breasts don't make a woman, and even if I had no bust tomorrow I'd never be a man.  Plus, as yours and Keira's posts have so clearly underlined, when it's truly a matter of life and death, we often react very very differently to how we imagine.

To all of you who may have suffered directly or indirectly through this terrible illness my heart goes out to you, I'm very sorry.

I can't help feeling I've been somewhat insensitive in posting a question on this subject and I really hope I haven't caused too much upset.

All my love
MVER XXX




  •  

melissa90299

Quote from: mavieenrose on June 24, 2007, 05:02:25 AM
Hi everyone,

I'm sorry to bring this up as it's a difficult and upsetting issue to consider, but I sometimes wonder how I'd react if one day I found out I had breast cancer and had to undergo a mastectomy.

Breast cancer is horrendous and traumatic for any woman, but I can't help thinking that for me as a trans-woman it could be disastrous.  It might feel like I was going backwards towards my old body shape that I so disliked.  I'm just not sure how I would cope...

What are other girls' feelings on this?

MVER XXX



I would concentrate on keeping healthy and not occupy space in my mind for such needless worry.
  •  

LostInTime

It is a concern here but I do not really fear the possibility. Cancer runs in the family and it is likely that I may end up with some form or another but I will worry about it if and when it appears. There is so much more to do in the world. A bus could run me over tonight (or more likely, a country boy running a four way stop) but that does not stop me from getting out.
  •  

rhonda13000

Take it from one who knows: don't think about potentialities.

Doing so can wreak utter havoc upon your mind.

And even if such were to be found in me on a mammography and excision became necessary, there are surgical cosmetic restoration procedures readily available.

It would indeed be emotionally traumatic, but I would be forcing myself to bear this in mind.

It would not at all be easy, given the importance of this, but hope does indeed exist in the event.
  •  

melissa90299

Again, the best advice is to concentrate on staying healthy, fit, do self-exam, get regular mammograms, etc. to spend anytime worrying over this is just a waste of energy.
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mavieenrose

Thank you girls for your responses on this and for the practical advice
That's a very good link Tink, and I'm sure lots of women will find it useful.

With love,
MVER XXX
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