Title pretty much says it all, How do you meet straight cis friends or a straight girlfriend pre-T? I need a social life but don't know how to go about it besides going to the local gay bars ladies night, but Im not a lady so that seems wrong. I want male friends, I want a girlfriend that sees me as her boyfriend. What do I do?

I met my girlfriend and the majority of the people I speak to in the local pub. There are people at college I hang around with bit once we step outside the grounds, we won't speak until we get back there, so they're not really that much of friends imo. I could make the effort to talk more, but I'm not really bothered, I'm naturally a loner.

I met all of my male friends through school, or though other friends, or through work... just typical places.  Most of the girlfriends/experiences I had with women were with straight women, anyway.  (I couldn't attract lesbians even when identifying as one  ) Most of them I met through other friends or on the internet.

So I guess that means my tip is ask your other friends if they have any cisguy and straight female friends and try to all go out and do group activities together?  I hope that helps.

Try going to social events, community service projects,singles nights or outings specifically for the single. I found out that just hanging out and talking to be people helped me.

As you would try to meet other gay or trans people, you actually have to get out more. Find "meet ups" with interests that you have. (Like Book, computer, or sports clubs.) Attend sporting events and go to big social meets. (Like festivals, parades, and public parties/cook outs.) With the warm weather, pools/lakes/beaches are big hot spots right now. It takes effort but talk to people and be friendly. (Don't "creep" on people but at least talk to someone.)

Quote from: wolfduality on May 31, 2013, 04:28:49 AM
As you would try to meet other gay or trans people, you actually have to get out more. Find "meet ups" with interests that you have. (Like Book, computer, or sports clubs.) Attend sporting events and go to big social meets. (Like festivals, parades, and public parties/cook outs.) With the warm weather, pools/lakes/beaches are big hot spots right now. It takes effort but talk to people and be friendly. (Don't "creep" on people but at least talk to someone.)

LOL @ the creeping comment. It is so easy to slip into the creeper zone.

Quote from: WorkerBeast on May 31, 2013, 09:30:45 AM
LOL @ the creeping comment. It is so easy to slip into the creeper zone.

YES! Actually, it's funny. If I looked like a girl, I can get by with being "too friendly" but my god, if I look like a guy and act "too nice", I'm a creeper trying to get in someone's pants.

I'm short and chubby, not really intimidating but I do get the vibe that I'm creeping someone out when I talk too much even if it's just about the weather. It's a shame really.

The problem I have is that all of my interests have little to do with other human beings. I would have to actually create new interests that include being social with humans in order to meet other people. I haven't made a new friend in years. I've just kept the ones I had when I was more social way back when.

Quote from: wolfduality on May 31, 2013, 06:43:52 PM
YES! Actually, it's funny. If I looked like a girl, I can get by with being "too friendly" but my god, if I look like a guy and act "too nice", I'm a creeper trying to get in someone's pants.

I'm short and chubby, not really intimidating but I do get the vibe that I'm creeping someone out when I talk too much even if it's just about the weather. It's a shame really.

LOL, it is so easy as a guy. Personally, I am concerned that when I start presenting as a guy that I will just ->-bleeped-<- with people. Really, I should focus on finding the swing of things but people are too funny when they are uncomfortable.

I might or might not be the right person to comment on this but my FtM boyfriend and me actually met online (I'm a straight girl)...I will have to say I never was a fan of online dating before and I have run into many crazy people but it can actually work out.

There are a lot of crazy people out there...but you could try it just for fun. I know there are certain meetups in many cities where people get together for a certain subject (here we got Americans expats, people wanting to learn new languages ec. or horror movie fans!) and everyone can come to that meeting. I know there is a website for it so you can browse what meetings there are...maybe that would be an idea? I know it's tough to find friends who are not that shallow and are looking for more than just meeting once a month...but it's worth a try.  Good luck

Quote from: Starshaped on June 17, 2013, 01:42:47 PM
I might or might not be the right person to comment on this but my FtM boyfriend and me actually met online (I'm a straight girl)...I will have to say I never was a fan of online dating before and I have run into many crazy people but it can actually work out.

There are a lot of crazy people out there...but you could try it just for fun. I know there are certain meetups in many cities where people get together for a certain subject (here we got Americans expats, people wanting to learn new languages ec. or horror movie fans!) and everyone can come to that meeting. I know there is a website for it so you can browse what meetings there are...maybe that would be an idea? I know it's tough to find friends who are not that shallow and are looking for more than just meeting once a month...but it's worth a try.  Good luck

Hey, quick question, was he listed as male or female on the dating website? I'm on one site listed as female but it's in my profile that I'm thinking about transitioning. Now that I'm getting more serious I'm thinking of making a male profile but kind of want to wait until I'm on T.

Quote from: WileyCoyote on June 17, 2013, 02:01:12 PM

Hey, quick question, was he listed as male or female on the dating website? I'm on one site listed as female but it's in my profile that I'm thinking about transitioning. Now that I'm getting more serious I'm thinking of making a male profile but kind of want to wait until I'm on T.

He was listed as a male. He's pre-everything too. I am not really an expert when it comes to online dating and I surely found more weird and sometimes rude people...but I think I'd make a male profile. That's what you are and that's what you see yourself as. And that's what girls would attract mostly if you are looking for a straight girl. There are girls that are open-minded enough :)don't give up!

Cis friends are easy to find pre-T. I live in a small rural town in TN, and all of my friends are cis. I met them all pre-T, and about half of them didn't know I was trans(I met them after I began living as male, and before I started Testosterone). However, a straight girlfriend is a little more difficult if you look in anyway female. I was a lot chubbier and I thought that I was masculine looking, but looking back, I see that I looked a lot more feminine than I thought and my fat redistribution has also helped make me appear more masculine. No one would doubt I am male now. Because of this, I have a lot more female attention... but I'm 2 years on T almost.

It really all depends on where you live as to whether or not straight females will see you as a female(I know.. it sucks). If you meet an understanding individual, it still doesn't guarantee that they will be attracted to you because a lot of times pre-T we look a bit feminine.. (SOME DONT. Hear me out) and therefore it is difficult for an attraction to be made by a straight female, as they attribute some of your looks to a females..

Pansexual women are more apt to date pre-T men than a straight girl.. unless the straight girl loves your personality and is very understanding of what being transgender means.

I hope you the best! You will find friends, and someone eventually. It may just be more difficult for the latter (as it should be though, you don't want anyone that doesn't love you for you)