I consider myself a woman who has transsexual history, and not merely transgender, or genderqueer, etc. I have nothing against those labels for other people, but they do not fit me personally! 

This is for those who consider themselves their neurological sex, whether before or after surgical correction:

How do you feel living in the binary, rather than trying to go from it? How do you relate to non-transsexual people, like bigender or cis-gender people?

I find so much peace in being able to be myself, and I no longer feel so disparate between what goes on in my mind and how my body looks. What I was able to express through action and speech but not with my body, has changed, and now I am aiming to move on with my life.

I actually even got rid of most of my pictures and images from childhood, and whatever I had my hands on, keeping the images that did not have me in them. I do worry though because my voice does not do well in public, and is fine 80% of the time.

Other than that, my life is good!

I just feel terrible that I will never be able to experience the gift of child-bearing, or be able to relate in terms of menses, even if I would still somehow emotionally cycle. But I suppose that is what transsexualism is all about.

How about y'all?

I am with you I also consider myself a woman, I have nothing from my childhood, in fact I have no evidence pre transition. I have no pictures before. There is nothing of me except the birth certificate that I cannot get rid of yet. I have Two photos of my parents families and a painting my grandmother painted that is the complete extent of any memories.

as far as relating to no-binary people, I have friends outside the binary, I do not shun them, and I have friends who are trans, but I do not attend a trans group locally, I live stealth.

If I could I would have loved to have been able to have born a child as you have stated - I have always thought that had I been cis gender I would have been a surrogate.

Wait...so I can't be a non-binary Transsexual?

I still identify as female...albeit a non-binary female.

-Skye

I guess I'm a binary trans person, as I'm in transition from male to female.

The only things from my "past" that I've disposed of are my old guy clothes. And my daughter has some of them as she's genderfluid. Sometimes my daughter is my son, and I love her/him/them dearly.

I guess it could be argued that I queer gender to a certain extent as I refer to myself as a woman who is a father and ex-husband. My adult kids still call me dad, and I'm okay with that.

So, maybe all this makes me a genderqueer binaried trans person.

I think humans are wired to operate in binary genders. Our procreative rituals depend on it. For hundreds of thousands of years it has been vital to the continuity of the species.

I'm not going to change that. People are much more comfortable when they can categorize me, so I don't fight it.

I believe I am female at the core, so that is the presentation toward which I'm transitioning. It feels ... wonderful.

i just consider myself a woman like most do not like i really had any chance to live as a man. a boy yes and that was fun but meh..... a woman. with a trans past or was a boy for a little while. whatever makes people feel better

Hm. I like Skye's "non-binary female" statement...

Female yes, but leaning toward the androgynous. To some extent I prefer presenting andro, but want people, after a moment of puzzlement, to go "Oh, it's a woman", instead of dumping me on the male end of the spectrum. Sort of the tomboy-femme look, a bit like my avatar (which, admittedly, has a look I'll never realistically be able to pull off, but might as well aim high  ).

Quote from: vegie271 on May 29, 2013, 04:45:48 PM


If I could I would have loved to have been able to have born a child as you have stated - I have always thought that had I been cis gender I would have been a surrogate.

That is so beautiful! A surrogate? I wish I could just be able to become a mother. I also have friends outside the binary, and I meet with them once a week or less, but the rest of the time I generally try to stay stealth.

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 29, 2013, 04:57:38 PM
Wait...so I can't be a non-binary Transsexual?

I still identify as female...albeit a non-binary female.

-Skye

Everyone is pretty individual. To me, the transgender umbrella embraces all sorts of identities!

For me, my own definition of myself being transsexual is basically experiencing transsexualism as a part of my medical history, and thus is not my identity, which is female.

Thanks for sharing your identity! 

Quote from: Constance on May 29, 2013, 05:02:17 PM
I guess I'm a binary trans person, as I'm in transition from male to female.

The only things from my "past" that I've disposed of are my old guy clothes. And my daughter has some of them as she's genderfluid. Sometimes my daughter is my son, and I love her/him/them dearly.

I guess it could be argued that I queer gender to a certain extent as I refer to myself as a woman who is a father and ex-husband. My adult kids still call me dad, and I'm okay with that.

So, maybe all this makes me a genderqueer binaried trans person.

That is so lovely that you love your children, and that they love you. I think that is fabulous!

Quote from: suzifrommd on May 29, 2013, 05:39:02 PM
I think humans are wired to operate in binary genders. Our procreative rituals depend on it. For hundreds of thousands of years it has been vital to the continuity of the species.

I'm not going to change that. People are much more comfortable when they can categorize me, so I don't fight it.

I believe I am female at the core, so that is the presentation toward which I'm transitioning. It feels ... wonderful.

Congratulations, suzifrommd! Womanhood! 

I totally agree with you that people operate in the binary... even with other cultures that have a 'third gender' section, still the genders 'male' and 'female' are more applicable for them. Although that is changing now because of the wider transgender movement.

There is a reason why for hundreds of years, if not thousands, heterosexual pre-mating rituals have more or less changed in form but not in content.

There is nothing absolutely more peaceful than with living your innermost being. It's a most wonderful feeling!

Quote from: Tristan on May 29, 2013, 05:54:28 PM
i just consider myself a woman like most do not like i really had any chance to live as a man. a boy yes and that was fun but meh..... a woman. with a trans past or was a boy for a little while. whatever makes people feel better

Yey!

Quote from: Theo on May 30, 2013, 12:32:10 PM
Hm. I like Skye's "non-binary female" statement...

Female yes, but leaning toward the androgynous. To some extent I prefer presenting andro, but want people, after a moment of puzzlement, to go "Oh, it's a woman", instead of dumping me on the male end of the spectrum. Sort of the tomboy-femme look, a bit like my avatar (which, admittedly, has a look I'll never realistically be able to pull off, but might as well aim high  ).

Lawl! I know a few people who seem to see reality in anime-tinted spectacles, although the anime always looks way better and cooler than we ourselves!

I know another friend of mine who sees herself as female but desires to dress or act more androgynously!

Think I'll make a post from a male perspective. I do identify as a masculine binary heterosexual male (yeah, so vanilla I know). I don't identify as a transsexual/transgender/transman outside of the internet. I mean it is what it and I understand that it's part of my history but I don't let it encompass who I am. To me it's just a medical condition that I am overcoming. It's not my identity.

As others have mentioned, I too disposed of most of my childhood photos. When I first started transitioning my mom gave me all of my photos. I think in a sense it was how she let go of that child she once had. There are times I wish I would have kept more than I did because even though it was a painful time it was still my history.

Quote from: Rahel on May 29, 2013, 03:47:20 PM
How do you feel living in the binary, rather than trying to go from it? How do you relate to non-transsexual people, like bigender or cis-gender people?

I never tried to get away from the binary. If anything I hopped from one box to another. Now since I'm medically transitioning most of my anxiety about being in the cis world has vanished but I still keep most cis people at a distance. I'm very selective about who I will associate myself with cis wise. It's a safety mechanism I developed over the years that's hard to let go of. I'm very outgoing towards other transgender people but with cis people there is a huge wall built up.

I'm a woman. Being transsexual or in transition is simply a transient period in my life while I undergo whatever medical intervention I feel I need.

Here's where it gets a little interesting.. I'm a lesbian, who tends to the butcher end of the scale. I dress mainly in a kind of andro fem style - although I do have my girly girl moments.

So, I guess I identify under the binary, but the fact is, I'm far less binary than I claim.. And it wouldn't surprise me if this was more common than people will admit to.

I am male, period.  There was a brief window where I was transitioning, but once I was read as male, and the legal documents done, I was done.  Surgeries were icing on the cake.  I'm male, and gay.

I have no problems with people who identify differently, who are androgynous, or genderqueer, or what have you.  For me, being in that limbo was as painful, if not more so, than being read as the wrong gender.  But it all comes down to who YOU are, and who I am.

I'm male. Full stop.

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on June 01, 2013, 02:53:34 AM
I'm a woman. Being transsexual or in transition is simply a transient period in my life while I undergo whatever medical intervention I feel I need.

Here's where it gets a little interesting.. I'm a lesbian, who tends to the butcher end of the scale. I dress mainly in a kind of andro fem style - although I do have my girly girl moments.

So, I guess I identify under the binary, but the fact is, I'm far less binary than I claim.. And it wouldn't surprise me if this was more common than people will admit to.

I so agree with you. It's like after srs you feel like transition is over. I guess in large part because it is? It's like I'm done I'm just another woman now. I say above average woman is what we are because we tend to give guys less of a hard time though

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 29, 2013, 04:57:38 PM
Wait...so I can't be a non-binary Transsexual?

I still identify as female...albeit a non-binary female.

-Skye

I'm a non-binary female. So I'm pretty sure you can be. Unless I'm a figment of someone's imagination I suppose... (That would be exciting!)

I'm also transsexual. Though I don't really think of that as an identity, so much as a thing that people use to describe me. Like 20-something or disabled or bitch.

Quote from: Rahel on May 29, 2013, 03:47:20 PMHow do you feel living in the binary, rather than trying to go from it? How do you relate to non-transsexual people, like bigender or cis-gender people?

I feel pretty good about having transitioned along a binary axis. I've done the whole package, electro and laser and FFS and SRS and hormones... blahblah. To me, what I needed for my body can remain clearly distinct from how I fit (and sometimes fail to fit) into my world. I'm desperately happy with what my body is now. And I'm still working on it in a way. A tragus piercing in my right ear is my next mod.

As to relating to other kinds of people? It really depends. I keep my medical history private from most folks, so it's not so much an issue. I dunno, I haven't really had more or less luck with people depending on their gender. I tend to feel more comfortable with other outcasts--queerlings and disabled folks and non-binaries and artists and weirdos--they get what it's like to be a little out-of-step with the world. But it's not a prerequisite. I like nice, thoughtful, intelligent, observant, empathetic people.

Quote from: Rahel on May 29, 2013, 03:47:20 PMHow do you feel living in the binary, rather than trying to go from it? How do you relate to non-transsexual people, like bigender or cis-gender people?

I transitioned nearly 40 years ago straight into the binary and never thought twice about it for decades. I get along well with everybody, regardless of their proclivities.

It has surprised me how many women (who know nothing of my medical history) have said over the years they admire me and wished they were more like me. I guess I am doing a good job of it! LOL!

I live my whole life in that "limbo" area and there's not a whole lot I can really do about it. The reality is I don't think I was ever binary just because of my nature. I identify as male, but that's not what people see all the time. People's perceptions are a large portion of what makes up "what is binary" to me. What people actually identify with can be vastly different from people's perceptions.