As some of you might know, I've had some bad, bad depression and body issues. It's still not perfect, that thing is still there, for now, at least, but I genuinely had an amazing birthday yesterday, turning 21. No I didn't drink, that wasn't the source of my happiness, haha. I've made a vow to myself to not drink until after SRS, for safety reasons.
Opened my gifts, like an iPhone and like 15 female tops. So, we're off to dinner, and my mother surprises me, basically starts calling me Jess/she/her, so I can celebrate my birthday as me! My mother likes Jess as a nickname, and it is distinctly feminine, for me, at least, given the pronouns. I knew she was accepting (as is the rest of my family), but best surprise ever, right? Around that time, she asks if I want to get my ears pierced, at a smallish mall sidetrip. I'm obviously saying yes to that, how awesome, right? We get that done, with little studs in my ears, wearing one of my new tops (and a bra for the first time in public, pretty self explanatory there!). Next, my sister wants to buy a little belt for her pants. My mother, out of nowhere, flips me and gets me this amazing smelling cherry lip gloss so I look better, and a bit sweeter.
Then we go to buy some top for my mother at the store, which they don't have. Oh well. Not like they didn't have everything else I wanted--3 pairs of shoes, one sandals pair, 2 flats, a jean jacket, as well as 3 pairs of pants: One black, one white shorts pair, and one white curvy pair. I tried on like 8 total pairs of pants in the changing room, though, lots of tight fits. My poor father, we told him it'd be 5 minutes to be ready, since we were looking for a single top. Hehe, as if! It's us 4 gals (mother, me, two sisters) clothes shopping against one guy, my dad. Naturally the actual time was more like 75 or 90 minutes.
We head off to the the restaurant from that mall, as I apply the gloss, and the change of clothes, namely jeans to shorts, and my shoes from black loafers to sandals, so I look better. En route, my mother reassures me how beautiful I am, with great features, great skin, etc., and that makeup would only make me look worse, like I'm trying to hide something. My father confirms the same. Awww, I love them sooo much!
Finally, we're at the restaurant, where there's this super cute, nice, funny waiter. He calls me sir at first (blame the hair, I'm getting a female cut Friday, rescheduled from 6/2), but my mother corrects, tells him my name and such. The guy feels bad, but he meant nothing of it--he calls me Jess throughout the night. One of the best waiters I remember having, anywhere, making a good night better, even beyond the Jess calling. As I go to the arcade, as my family call out: "Jess, come on!"
I walk a few steps with my mother into the arcade, and I want to thank her, and give her a warm hug, and do, as I start crying, I had no idea we'd be doing this much for me. As if the moment couldn't get better, my mother states, with a cool, calm, and collective smile: "Welcome to the world of being a woman, with all its ups and downs, Jessica." It makes me tear up even now replaying that again in my mind...
Right after that, I head to the games within the arcade, and actually win a jackpot of tickets almost at once. Either really good luck, or someone is watching over me, has to be, right? Right after, my mother is on the phone with family and explains what's going on (they know I'm female), to just give the casual fact that: "[Wrongname] is Jessica tonight." I can't ask for a better family, can I?
So we eat, I get a high-five from the waiter for eating all my burger, go back to the arcade again, cash in for prizes, eat dessert, blow out my candle (though I basically got my wish!), and then it's time to go home. I was exhausted, having been up the past like 30 hours, got on the site's chat here, where I got a few more birthday well-wishes, took a few photos of me, then conked out.
But yet...it goes on! My family has kept up with Jess(ica)/she/her, even today; granted, they're still mildly adjusting, I give them benefit of the doubt after last night, as well as time, we're only human after all, right? In addition, we're going glasses frame shopping, for a female frame on Thursday, buying some underwear soon, and I'm seeing a top hairdresser in the entire state on Friday, so I have beautiful hair, specifically with the intentions of a female cut. We're also going to the Philly Health Conference next week, where I'm meeting a friend, celebrating even more, as just another female out there in the world.
I can't top that birthday. It feels like all a dream, even now.
I ask you to not quote the image, please (privacy is way up there for me), but I was so happy, I absolutely had to take a couple pictures last night. Sadly, neither shot I took has the little gold studs in my ears, but shows my outfit in full otherwise.
(almost 7 months HRT, getting there yet!)
