Well, after summer I'll be moving to university (really looking forward to it), to study biology.
But now something leaves me bugging... and that is... how should I introduce myself to my classmates??
I will note that 90% of the time I don't pass (mainly because of my voice, otherwise I think I could pass as a feminine guy), so introducing myself as a male might be more-than-slightly awkward. However, I also don't want to start off as a girl from the start already. Just because I want people to cut the 'girl-ing', but also because I know that a personal image is less easily changed once established.
So... anyone got any tips?? Ideas? Experiences? Help please!

Erik

Can you tell people you're a transgender male?

I haven't even begun transition, so I have no experience to speak from. Take what I'm about to say for what it's worth with that in mind.

My instinct is to tell you to forget about whether you "pass" or not. You are who you are, introduce yourself as such. I think it's generally true that people will take a cue from you. If you are comfortable and nonchalant about who you are, most of them will be too. The ones that aren't, I doubt you want to associate with.

Also, you don't have to introduce your gender. I've never once heard someone say "Hey, I'm Jason and I'm a guy!" Just introduce yourself, let assumptions fall where they may, and correct the incorrect ones if that's something you want to do. If someone says she, just gently correct them and leave it at that. If they decide they want to press and ask questions, you can decide how to handle it then.

Easier said than done, maybe, but I really do think the less of an issue you make out of it, the less of an issue it will be for others. Sure, there might be people who would take issue with you because of their own biases, but those people were never going to be people you want to associate with anyway. Just be safe, if you feel threatened don't ignore it, talk to someone who can help ensure your safety.

Thanks for the replies.
And my main concern was that it might be weird to say "Hey, I'm Erik" if I don't look and sound like a guy. I almost considered telling people I have a hormone disease, but I'm horrible at lying, even lies like those, so I'd rather tell them I'm a transmale. (and I'm not ashamed of that or anything. It simply is who I am, simple fact)

And also; the teachers. I'm signed into the school under my birth name (obviously, as it isn't legally changed. I don't have much of a choice, lol). I guess the best option would be to calmly explain them the situation and hope they are willing to call me Erik, right?

Sorry, I'm probably making it a lot larger than it has to be... :s

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on June 05, 2013, 01:52:19 AM
Thanks for the replies.
And my main concern was that it might be weird to say "Hey, I'm Erik" if I don't look and sound like a guy. I almost considered telling people I have a hormone disease, but I'm horrible at lying, even lies like those, so I'd rather tell them I'm a transmale. (and I'm not ashamed of that or anything. It simply is who I am, simple fact)

And also; the teachers. I'm signed into the school under my birth name (obviously, as it isn't legally changed. I don't have much of a choice, lol). I guess the best option would be to calmly explain them the situation and hope they are willing to call me Erik, right?

Sorry, I'm probably making it a lot larger than it has to be... :s

Some places will be easy to change your name some not. I go by my (birth) middle name, but on an application I have to put first middle last. So the job I am at now everyone calls me by my first name because that is what is on my time card. I have tried to explain to them that I go by my middle name and doesn't do any good. The managers told me well (middle name) is not your real name your real name is (First name). I try to explain that (Middle Name) is my real name because that is what my parents has called me by since I was born.

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on June 05, 2013, 01:52:19 AM
Thanks for the replies.
I guess the best option would be to calmly explain them the situation and hope they are willing to call me Erik, right?

Sometimes the best solution is the simplest.

I can't and don't try to 'pass' (I think that term is ridiculous but that's just my opinion). Introduce yourself as you want to to be addressed. If you want to be called Steve, say 'My name is Steve'. If you want to be called Susan, say 'My name is Susan'. The rest will just work itself out. I have yet to see anyone look at me odd or question my gender when I say my name is Jennifer. Your attitude and confidence will be projected to others.

Thanks everybody, maybe I should just stop making it harder than it really is, lol.

We all have done that, I'm sure. That initial fear of rejection. Dealt with it myself. Now, I don't care. I'm Jennifer legally, so it doesn't matter if someone has a problem with it.

My experience ... I introduced myself as my choosen name long before I transitioned ... I have found that folks take it at face value .. that if you introduce yourself as a male most folks won't question it or are too embarrassed to ask.

I don't pass at all either. I introduce myself as Victor anyway. If that's not enough of a hint, I correct the pronouns they use. It makes it pretty darn clear I'm trans, but people have been accepting so far.
I e-mailed my professors ahead of time and asked that they use my preferred name. It worked well enough.

Quote from: Prof HB on June 04, 2013, 01:45:09 PM
I always just said "Hi, i'm *preferred name*" shook their hand, and that was it. If the gender thing came up, I explained it then, but I felt like it was always better to get people started on the right name at least. If they don't know any other name they won't have trouble using it.

I've done this, if I don't care to explain stuff. I find it works very well. Maybe they'd think you are the "girl named Steve", but who cares.

--Jay

I'm in a similar boat. I have emailed the university and explained my situation that I haven't legally changed my name, that I'm a trans male, asked for their policies on discrimination and what they can do to support me. They were very supportive and told me to get in touch again once my name was chosen (I was indecisive about names when I messaged them) and they would email my department so that my name could be changed on the system their end, even if it wasn't legally changed. They said I had a right to be called what I want and they said they'll arrange a meeting to discuss my needs before I start. It may be worth dropping them an email to see what the university itself can do. As for other students, I plan to introduce myself as Joseph, Joey for short and leave it as that. My voice doesn't pass either, but we're all in the same boat with meeting new people and I doubt anyone will question us right away in the fear of giving off the wrong impression. Once I get to know people a bit more they may ask, and when they do I'll tell them. I'm there to get my degree and if anybody has a problem with me being trans then that's just it, it's their problem, not mine. Good luck

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on June 05, 2013, 07:41:42 AM
Thanks everybody, maybe I should just stop making it harder than it really is, lol.

It's harder if you area just starting this. I find it easier and easier, but it still has had some difficult moments. Once in awhile you will get the questioning look and so on. Everybody handles this differently-- from explaining to just ignoring.
But I have gotten increasingly shorter on explaining things. And for me the firm handshake and name work very well.

--Jay

You should introduce as Eric some of the people will probably think you said Erica and will call you that for a while. Those that do call you Erica, I probably wouldn't correct them until you have sized them out.