Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 09, 2013, 01:31:19 PM
I haven't changed my name and prob can't for awhile. It costs a lot of money and I have other issues. My problem isn't that I have some sickening aversion to presenting as male (okay I lied I do), it's that I do go out and present as male and people do not believe me. I have done this several times. With people who know me, it seems like they don't notice much but I was fairly femme to begin with. Also, all things being equal I don't want to go come outon the job I want to be hired as is. And I really don't have a choice. I know people on this board are like "you need FFS to pass" but in the real world where you don't have to be a supermodel to pass, I pass and it's very hard to butch it up. This is my problem.

At my current job, I am a freelance writer and I attend functions and stuff and I have just feminized my name as it is much easier. There are only two options: people think I am a woman or people think I am a trans woman. The only person who thought the latter has a best freind who is trans and I had asome beard shadow going on and he still said he didn't really think I was trans til I told him but the shadow kinda threw him off.

I hope I am not coming off as a biotchy but I don't know what to do and really didn't think I would have this problem. Heck must people say 30 year olds don't change at all and this is like lightening fast and I'm not on a high dose far from it.

IDK. Maybe I'll just meet a sugar daddy men seem to really like me. Jk lol

I'm from Philly transsexuals are a specially protected group and all city employees get free SRS and businesses get all kinds of tax credits for providing coverage for it. I am lucky I live here.

Free SRS!?  I think I know where I will be trying to move to if things don't work out at home,lol

You're not being bitchy at all.  This is a legitimate concern and you shouldn't have to cover up anything.  If you feel okay presenting as female during the interview, that's fine.  But I wouldn't mention that you are trans during the interview.  There is no need to tell them at that stage.  Some hiring managers may see you bringing it up as a liability of some sort.  However, if you are confident and don't make it appear to be an issue, you should be okay.     If Philly is as trans friendly as you make it sound, I'm sure they have encountered this before.  Just be you and act confident.  While I do think it's easier to get in the door first, everyone has different circumstances.  I'm hoping it will all work out. 

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 09, 2013, 01:52:23 PM
Yeah you're prob right. I should just calm down and let things roll. See even if I butch it up enough it took me so much to get here to this point and I don't want to have to present male half the time and live a double life. Coming out on the job would be hard for me. And I'm worried if I did this I would just end up detransitioning and that would be that. Thanks everyone for all your replies and I am sorry if I got a little defensive at times. It's just I need to do something about my living situation and stuff and need money.

I've slowly but surely learned that letting things roll is simply the best thing you can do! The more we dwell over our fears, the more they grow. Each fear I faced in my transition I've overcome with the realization that the fear was far from reality! And, trust me, I've had some pretty insane fears 

My advice summed up: If I was starting a new job within a month or so before going full-time, I would disclose what was going on. I actually did do this but as an independent contractor it's a little different. When we transition, the people around us transition as well. If you start a new job and a month later show up a "new" you in their eyes, they may not take it well.

Quote from: learningtolive on June 09, 2013, 01:53:13 PM
Free SRS!?  I think I know where I will be trying to move to if things don't work out at home,lol

Just to note that ALL companies that have 100 points on the HRC Corporate Equality Index have to provide the following:

Quote
c. Transgender-inclusive health insurance coverage

1O points

Equal health coverage for transgender individuals without exclusion for medically necessary care
[snip]

Benefits available to other employees must extend to transgender individuals. The following benefits should extend to transgender individuals, including for services related to gender transition (e.g., medically necessary services related to sex affirmation/ reassignment):

• Short-term medical leave
• Mental health benefits
• Pharmaceutical coverage (e.g., for hormone replacement therapies)
• Coverage for medical visits or laboratory services
• Coverage for reconstructive surgical procedures related to sex reassignment
• Coverage of routine, chronic or urgent non-transition services
• Plan language ensuring "adequacy of network" or access to specialists should extend to transition-related care (including provisions for travel or other expense reimbursements)

Dollar maximums on this area of coverage must meet or exceed $75,000.

To secure full credit for benefits criteria, each benefit must be available to all benefits-eligible U.S. employees. In areas where more than one health insurance plan is available, at least one inclusive plan must be available.

Quote from: learningtolive on June 09, 2013, 12:42:38 PM
Have you changed your name yet?  If you haven't, I think for the initial interview you may want to present as male.

My name isn't changed yet and I interviewed for my current position under the name Paige.  I just told them during the interview process, "For the background check you're going to need a different name from me."  No big whoop and you keep a number of people you could soon be working with from learning your old, or what will soon be your old name.

Quote from: Misato on June 09, 2013, 03:29:44 PM
My name isn't changed yet and I interviewed for my current position under the name Paige.  I just told them during the interview process, "For the background check you're going to need a different name from me."  No big whoop and you keep a number of people you could soon be working with from learning your old, or what will soon be your old name.

And they were fine with that and referred to you as Paige? That's awesome! That's what I was thinking of doing: applying under my new name a feminized portion of my old name and see what happens. I'm also thinking of just getting a waitress job or something like that.

Just a couple things.  If you are living full-time it is probably time to get your ID fixed because that will avert so many other problems.

However, that isn't really necessary to do before you go find a job.  One thing I did when I was looking for a job was look for companies that had an existing policy in place regarding trans people and which also had a good track record with dealing with us (HRC is a good resource) and then I was upfront with them about my situation.  Basically I reached out to whomever was listed as the main contact in HR, told them I was in the middle of transition, and simply asked how they recommended I proceed with my paperwork, etc.  Their response was without exception very positive (I think because I was only dealing with corporations with a good track record) and it kind of gave me an in with a higher-up in HR which was a bonus.

Once you get that first job and you begin building a work history as yourself, and once you get all the red tape and paperwork finished (ID, name, social if possible) then you will be able to just apply for future jobs as yourself without disclosing anything if you don't want to.

That being said, the job environment is not good right now, depending where you live, so don't be discouraged if it takes some time to find a good fit or even just a job.

Quote from: Jen on June 09, 2013, 04:13:02 PM
Just a couple things.  If you are living full-time it is probably time to get your ID fixed because that will avert so many other problems.

I wanted to have my name change complete back in March.  Money just hasn't been there cause it's being sent down the medical bill drain. On top of my COBRA payment, I got a $600+ surprise on Friday.

Quote from: Misato on June 09, 2013, 03:29:44 PM
My name isn't changed yet and I interviewed for my current position under the name Paige.  I just told them during the interview process, "For the background check you're going to need a different name from me."  No big whoop and you keep a number of people you could soon be working with from learning your old, or what will soon be your old name.

That's great!  Honestly, I really thought that would be a big issue, but I'm glad there are understanding employers out there. 

This one is more on the coming out side.

The employer I came out at hosts a development conference.  It was a all hands on deck kind of thing when it came around.  Well, my hands stayed in my cube.  I was about boiling over from detransition and I didn't trust myself to be able to restrain myself, especially if I imbibed some liquid courage.

Later, I began to think my anger and skipping participation were going to be held as black marks against me.  So, one day I went over to HR and told her everything.  She thanked me for being professional about it and not coming out to everyone at the after party.  This got things off on the right foot and we all began to plan for my going full time on the 11th of January which included a nice announcement shindig.  How I came out was left to me, and I chose said shindig, and I think it worked really well.  Only problem was I couldn't keep up with the congratulations!

I've recently become aware of someone who informed her employer that she is trans and worked as a male until one day, she just started showing up to work on a whim as herself.  I don't know how well that is going to work for her over the long haul.  I did that kind of thing in Grad School but I was doing research and needed to demonstrate I had familiarity with the trans experience because of a problem getting IRB approval and in the other class I was out in, I was one face in 200+ and I gave those I sat next to a heads up. It was also my other CS class, so some classmates knew I was living as a woman at least some of the time.  I still bet I could have handled it better and, as for this other woman, I hope she doesn't get a reputation of being difficult to manage or something that will haunt her. 

Work is different than school, and I'm not trying to justify what I did as ok.  Rather, I want to put it out there so someone may be wise and learn from what I did.  Working with my employer was the easy way.  I didn't need their permission, but it was a team effort that I think helped them want to be an ally for me.

There is a thing in the UK called the Equality Act that makes it illegal to discriminate based on gender or sexuality.  However, in my experience, this law isn't worth the paper it is written on.  I am currently looking for work.  When I apply in my male name, I tend to be selected for interview.  When I apply in my female name, in accordance with the RLT, I get nowhere.  Problem is that it is extremely difficult to prove that you were not considered on the basis of being trans.

I am off to an interview in my female name on Thursday.  This is after the job was readvertised.  I applied the first time the job was advertised and got nowhere.  I reapplied and spoke to the head of service but it still took a lot of persuasion (and a barely disguised mention of equalities legislation) to get an interview.

I doubt I will get the job in any case.  The salary is approximately £9000 per annum less than what I was on in my old job.

As for name change, that is easy in the UK.  You can use Deed Poll to change it officially for a few pounds.  In fact, you have the right in the UK to call yourself what you want.

When it's just a name they know, could that be an indicator of sexism instead of anything trans related?

It is definitely easier to get a job if you have a male name.  Sad but true.

With the education you have and the culture of Philly, not to mention the whole northeast corridor from Baltimore to Boston, you may be able to find something in the entertainment industry. I have worked as a third party contractor on the logistical side of the entertainment industry and believe me, there really isn't any words that can describe it other than anything goes. Of course I fit right in. That's one option if you are willing to relocate possibly. Another would be to take everything on your resume' and strike out on your own. Design websights, be a consultant, do whatever it is on your own for different companies. You would have to have your own insurance though but most of the time a company will pay a third party more than their employees.