Hey so this is something that I've been working on and sometimes it aggravates the crap out of me. Does anyone have experience with a parent who seems to flip all the time between support and resistance? For example one day my mom will find me an endocrinologist to look into and the next day she's talking about how I need to just finish my education and put off doing any transitioning. I feel like it's getting better as time goes on but it just makes it so hard for me to feel safe or to tell her things because I never know if she's in support mode or in resistance mode.

My guess is that she's digesting a lot of things about transition. It IS a lot to consider. One fear I hear is that the parent fears that they are losing their child. Maybe the two of you should sit down and talk about this. Get all the information that you can in case she needs some questions to be answered.

It sounds like she wants to support you, but also is maintaining some hope that this is a phase that will go away.  As Gennee said, it might take some time for her to digest everything. 

Can you find ways to detach your own peace of mind from where your mother is?

That's really hard I know, since we're conditioned from infancy to be attentive to our parents. But unless we can engineer some detachment as we get older, we'll get dragged along on whatever roller coaster ride they're taking.

Please accept a hug from me, Naomi. This isn't easy.