Hugs FTM. Big warm hugs x

Thanks Steph. I needed those hugs. 

It's my last day with Caleb. Tomorrow I have to take him to the airport.

I took Caleb to the airport this morning. I managed not to cry right up until we hugged. Then it was on. I havent really stopped crying yet, lol. I'll see him online tonight, sure. But its not quite the same. I felt so... normal around him. All the trans issues just kind of vanished.

Quote from: Keaira on June 08, 2013, 07:54:52 AM
I took Caleb to the airport this morning. I managed not to cry right up until we hugged. Then it was on. I havent really stopped crying yet, lol. I'll see him online tonight, sure. But its not quite the same. I felt so... normal around him. All the trans issues just kind of vanished.

You both have come a long way together via Susan's, emails and skype, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings about yourselves, eventually great bonds are created. It's been a pleasure for all of us to have eavesdropped on you both as this great loving friendship developed, we are not all that lucky so it has been sweet of you both for sharing it with us.

Quote from: Keaira on June 08, 2013, 07:54:52 AM
I took Caleb to the airport this morning. I managed not to cry right up until we hugged. Then it was on. I havent really stopped crying yet, lol. I'll see him online tonight, sure. But its not quite the same. I felt so... normal around him. All the trans issues just kind of vanished.

You know, I have seen you cry before, but it was always a single tear or two. But when you cried as you hugged me, you had so many tears coming out all at once. I haven't seen that before. As you already know I cried on the plane. And I want to cry now lol.

We ended up running a bit late and i didn't have time to check my bag of clothes. My carry on holds all my documents, and everything sentimental that I received from Keaira while I was with her, but the bag she has...er, it basically contains my whole wardrobe! Lol (I wanted to buy new clothes anyway so they will stay with her). But they weren't all clean, so the poor thing has my dirty laundry and I feel pretty guilty. Bless her heart. <3

Quote from: Shantel on June 08, 2013, 08:07:45 AM
You both have come a long way together via Susan's, emails and skype, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings about yourselves, eventually great bonds are created. It's been a pleasure for all of us to have eavesdropped on you both as this great loving friendship developed, we are not all that lucky so it has been sweet of you both for sharing it with us.

And yes, we really have become good friends over this past year we have known each other. Part of the reason it was so hard to leave her is because she is one person I feel I can trust completely. And of course, actually making the steps to go there - giving her all my family's contact info, being in her home, meeting her family and watching the neighbourhood kids, trusting for my safety and happiness in her company, all of that has definitely upped the level of trust and closeness that I feel with her.

I want to go back as soon as possible. I'm going to quit eating out to help speed up saving for the next trip, lol. Also going to make sure I apply for jobs that pay well and give some vacation options.

Quote from: Shantel on June 08, 2013, 08:07:45 AM
You both have come a long way together via Susan's, emails and skype, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings about yourselves, eventually great bonds are created. It's been a pleasure for all of us to have eavesdropped on you both as this great loving friendship developed, we are not all that lucky so it has been sweet of you both for sharing it with us.

Having spent some actual, one-on-one time with him outside of a chatroom has been amazing. we chatted online via webcam while he was waiting for his next flight from Toronto, and it wasn't the same. It was like this:

I think i'm getting sick.

Constant coughs and runny nose.

My voice is completely hoarse.

Quote from: Keaira on June 08, 2013, 11:00:27 AM

Having spent some actual, one-on-one time with him outside of a chatroom has been amazing. we chatted online via webcam while he was waiting for his next flight from Toronto, and it wasn't the same. It was like this:

aww that video is so cute! but what was in the box? a new hand? 

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on June 08, 2013, 05:59:04 PM
aww that video is so cute! but what was in the box? a new hand? 

no, it was the girl's other hand. she gave up one of hers so he could draw again.

it was 106 today (41) I am on my 5th shower and still sticky.

Was having a great solo game on Black Ops 2 and got the scorestreak of the VTOL Warship but my PSN signed me out before I could use it UGH!!!!

There's water coming in through our kitchen ceiling, but it hasn't been raining and we live on the first of two floors. Must be our upstairs neighbor's sink leaking or something. I thought once we got the doorknob reattached and the washer fixed that we'd solved all the problems, but I guess not.

Also, I appear to be reaching that age where my friends are starting to get engaged and married, and it's making me feel really weird inside.

There is a wasp nest in the basement under my room and I have found one more than 1 occasion one of those bastards sneaking into my room. They don't get far though cause I killed them

I really, really miss Keaira. Hormones really helped to quiet a lot of noise in my head, making a lot of room to have full feelings. So, I'm fully very sad.

Spent most of the weekend in the local hospital because Hubby broke his foot whilst trying to help out a neighbour whose house had been vandalised.

Yup, that's how fun our lives are! 

Meeting a great girl who I felt comfortable around and made me feel pretty and like the real me only to wake up. Then while laying in bed awake realizing I will not only never meet anyone like her for real but I will never meet anyone period

Dreams why did you torment me so?

One of those days I wish I was in a coma(no offense to anyone who has been or known someone who was/is in a coma intended)

Quote from: Keaira on June 10, 2013, 01:59:42 AM
*huggles tight* I miss you too hun. Stupid unbreakable glass!

That pic was so hard to take. -_-

what made me unhappy today?? haha...i'm sure something will pop up :/
it always does. it's only 5am, something is bound to happen my higher power is really testing me these days