Awhile ago I crossdressed and enjoyed it, then felt it was wrong and threw all my stuff out again. Started up again and stopped. Now I want to start again and this time I wont throw it all out again, the problem is I can't get clothing anymore... The friend I use to have had a sister who gave me the stuff she never wore. I lost contact with this friend and now I am without clothing... Does anyone know how a safe way to get more, I am not brave enoug hto walk into a store... Thanks

Hi Locke,

You seem quite confused. Not unusual you are 15 it's a confusing time. First feeling that crossdressing is wrong is a judgement thing. In this case you are judgeing yourself because you have been taught that it is wrong. Clothes are just clothes they are not right or wrong. My generation used to say if it feels good do it. Not the best philosophy in the world just cause something feels good doesn't mean it's good for you. We learn from our mistakes. Perhaps you need to deal with what it is that makes you think it's wrong before you go out and spend money on more clothes you may end up throwing away when you flip back in the other direction.

Lots of people have done this and I think you will probably get some responses from people who have done and gone thru the same thing. As to how to get more clothes. In the absence of hand me downs your only choice is to work up the courage to go buy some. Try Goodwill or Salvation Army stores. It is the Halloween season, good time to put together a "costume". Most guys who go out Halloween dressed as a girl get their cloths from the thrift stores since they don't plan on wearing them again. They are cheap and if you do flip back again and throw them out no big loss.

Cassie

Well quiting was really more out of fear of being caught...

My favorite quote from a book is from Frank Herbert's Dune. Never mind the movie, read the book. I first read it when I was about your age.

"Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear and let it pass through me."

Try it, it works.

Cassie

I also enjoyed Dune  , and I will heed your advise. Like my new avatar ?

I should back up a little here. I assume when you say you were afraid of being caught you mean by your parents. Of course if you are not wanting or not ready to talk to your parents about this you should certainly use your best judgement on this. Letting your parents know opens a can of worms you may not be ready to deal with.  

I can only speak from my experience and I am TS. I was insistant at a very young age that I was a girl. As this is Crossdresser talk I assume this is not the case for you, so coming out to the parents is a little different. I was so young I hadn't had time to develop any fears regarding who I was. It took a bunch of psycologists in the mid 60's to instill fear, but that's another story.

If you are determined to crossdress and fear of getting caught causes you to throw your cloths out, what is it about this time that you think will make things different? Do you have a plan to keep your secret hidden?

I'm not going to tell you you should come out to your parents. But do you think it would help if you did? What kind of reaction would you get? You don't have to answer these they are just questions for you to consider. Talking to your parents could be devastating to you or it could be the best thing ever. It's always hard to tell so it is difficult to advise you. I know all you asked was how to get clothes but as I said before if you are just going to throw them out again out of fear, Why?

Cassie

P.S. As I was writing this you posted again. Glad to here you actually read the book. Have you read the rest of the Dune saga? Love the avatar.

Very nice Avatar Locke.... 

As someone who herself hasn't come out, the trick is just to plan it out when getting your clothes from a store...

I find you can get whatever you want with good timing and a good story....  Go in when the store is less busy. Isolate a friendly looking clerk. Have a story ready...

Alot of your fears can be soothed by a little planning...

And if your living with your folks just hide it. I know myself there are just certain places in a room people don't check. Put your clothes there

Good judgement, like Cassandra said, is key....

Good luck!
-Nessa

Thanks guys, I did read the Dune saga. Did you catch the mini-series on the scifi channel?

Hi Locke,

What you have experienced is not unusual and during my life I too have dismissed Shelley but eventually she resurfaces. If you are wondering, not all of us are transexual some of us are happy dipping into both sides and experiencing both by crossdressing. Some would say that crossdressing is not really experiencing the other side.I say each to their own.

What's important is what you feel. As Vanessa said plan your shopping adventures and have in mind someone to alibi you when you shop. Have a description in your mind of you are buying for e.g a girlfriend who is roughly your hieght who's hair is a little lighter than yours that sort of thing. I t really helps.

Anyway goodluck and welcome to Susans.

hello Locke,

                 Starting and quitting is actually very common and does not mean you are confused.  Just say the items are for a girlfriend. Ask for a gift receipt and if it's a dept store ask the clerk where their gift wrap window is, they wont have a clue.


beth

Quote from: beth on October 19, 2005, 07:31:21 PM

                 Starting and quitting is actually very common and does not mean you are confused.  Just say the items are for a girlfriend. Ask for a gift receipt and if it's a dept store ask the clerk where their gift wrap window is, they wont have a clue.

Genius!

Soooo going to use that the next time I go shoping! 

I walked into a Cato and bought some earings and stuff. Sure I was nervous when I walked into the store. All those questions: "Is anyone I know here?" "What will the people here think of me?" but the store clerk just looked at me and smiled and was really nice  So, just go in ^ ^ staff can't give you any trouble because your buying their clothes >.> so keep that in mind.

good luck with everything! and be proud of who you are ^ ^

I have done it a few times but it doesn't seem to get any easier! I wish halloween was monthly 

Wish we had Halloween in Australia!!!

I thought I would be to nervous to walk through the women's department too! But I did it anyway. I shopped at Wal-Mart. This probably wouldn't be my ultimate choice to shop at, but right now I have no other option as I am only 18 and still living under my parents roof. (parent's don't know I crossdress by the way.) Anyway, I went to Wal-Mart during the early hours and went through the self check-out. Everything went fine and there were no questions asked. I have now been to Wal-Mart on 4 occasions to buy socks and panties in the women's department and will go back again and again until I have a full wardrobe. If I can do it, you can do it!

Gaah I totatally botched it tonight I was going to buy some make up but I was too scared 

Don't sweat it alleigh. Makeup is probably the hardest thing for the first timer to buy. So much makeup available so many colors so many layers, you just kinda stand there in a daze trying to figure it out. At the same time your nervous, everybody and there mother keeps walking buy and you're sure someone is going to recognize you and say something to your mother like, I saw your son buying makeup today.

Hit and run is a good way to go. Study the fashion magazines and such to determine exactly what you need. Try to stick with one brand like Revlon or something so you don't have to wander up and down the cosmetic isle. Then you just go in and get what you need in one swift action. Cuts down on the nervous tension. If you look like you know what you need then no one pays you any attention. Carry a list to reference then if a sales clerk asks if they can help you it's easy to say my mother/sister/girlfriend asked me to pick these up and hand her the list.

There are lots of ways to go about it but you can do it if you put your mind to it

Good Luck,

Cassie

Thanks  bah I give up thank god for the Internet I just ordered some 

I'm sure you've thought of this but just in case...  When I was starting out, I rented a post office box and ordered things out of the Sears catalogue.  Now, with the internet, things are even easier.  The only problem with mail order can be sizes.  Not all size tens are the same.  Dresses are easier than pants or blouses.

If you decide to go to a store, sometimes enlisting the help of a sales clerk (not easy in some stores!) can give you the cover you need.  Describe the garment you seek.  It was a great idea to mention your girlfriends hair color and gift receipt...I agree.  Genius.

Ultimately, the best thing for me was finding a female friend who would be understanding to shop with me.  She was the cover and I got to try on things in the booth.  Made getting the proper size a heck of a lot easier.

Like you all, I couldn't wait for each Halloween.  Even better was Christmas.  I mean -- It's EXPECTED that you are buying gifts for other people!

Most sales clerks are most interested in their commission, and not the customer.

Since I have been fulltime, I have had no problem trying things on in the women's dressing room at the stores, but when I still was presenting as a man they wanted me to use the men's dressing room to try on things.  They still wanted to sell me the items, that was the thing uppermost in their minds.

Sarah L.