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Dating/boys

Started by Tristan, May 29, 2013, 08:15:43 PM

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Keaira

Time to counter the bad here with some good.

The time I spent with Caleb when he was here was nothing short of amazing. He was a gentleman, never treated me like a piece of meat, was not "after just one thing", and in now way, did I have a bad experience with him.

I may not have liked guys before. And its probably due to my childhood and being bullied by them.  But, I've let that go. Caleb is a good example of what a good man is and I'm willing to bet that he is not alone in that respect. He lived up to what I thought a nice guy would be like. I mean he went swimming with me! Do you know how uncomfortable that can be for a trans guy?
So I wont bash the guys. Sure there can be bad apples, but ive seen that with women too. Dont beleive me? It was 5 women who helped to stop me using the womens bathrooms at Valeo Sylvania.
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mintra

Quote from: learningtolive on June 13, 2013, 11:03:39 AM
I think you're getting a little too serious. I'm detecting playful joking than severe man hating in the above post.
I agree. I don't think the ladies here meant to berate or vilify male gender at all. To me it's like typical girls talk about dating. Sex and the City got it a lot worse imho.
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Keaira

Quote from: Tristan on June 13, 2013, 03:52:43 PM
I hope I run Into some if these good guys when I am free next year

Sorry hun, Caleb is mine. :P
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Jamie D

Tristan, call me "Old school" - like 1964 ...

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Keaira

Kyh, I'm really happy for you :D



Anyway, yea. Can we please keep the guy-bashing to Level zero? Remember, at some point in our lives, we were guys too. And I'm sure you didn't like being bad-mouthed for being a guy. And I'm fairly sure our Brothers across the board wouldn't be happy with it either.
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Mermaid

Quote from: learningtolive on June 13, 2013, 11:03:39 AMI think you're getting a little too serious. I'm detecting playful joking than severe man hating in the above post.

It might just aswell have been a joke, but it's akin to saying a woman's place is in the kitchen and that they must be trained to cook and raise children. The point isn't whether it's a joke or not, even if it's a joke it's a sexist one and of extremely bad taste, that's what I tried to point out.

Quote from: mintra on June 13, 2013, 05:09:37 PM
I agree. I don't think the ladies here meant to berate or vilify male gender at all. To me it's like typical girls talk about dating. Sex and the City got it a lot worse imho.

"Typical girls talk" shouldn't have to consist of sexist jokes. If that's the case, then those conversations should be kept private and restricted to circles of like-minded sexual bigots. This is a public place, visited by men and women alike, so I believe people should be the least bit considerate and wary of their "jokes".

On your comment regarding "Sex and the City"... Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was always inclined to believe that this was a forum mainly aimed at providing support towards transgender individuals and their families, not a TV show about the frustrations and sexual exploits of lonely middled-aged women.

Anyway, forgive me if I was too blunt in my post, I don't wish to make myself anyone's antagonist for pointing out a comment, it's just that I found it rather creepy and offensive and felt it was my place to say something. =)
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Ltl89

Quote from: kyh on June 14, 2013, 04:20:27 AM
Oh my gosh Tristan and LearningtoLive! I said I would update you and here it is... I met the guy... Before we had talked on the phone for 2 days, and I knew what he looked like but he didn't know what I looked like (cause I messaged him on a dating site, okcupid.com, and he had a pic but I didn't). He told me, when we were only just talking on the phone, that he was falling really hard for me and that he's never connected with anyone like this before. Not even his girlfriend of 2 years from about a year and a half ago. And well, I met him today, and I had the most amazing day of my life. It was everything I dreamt of having with a guy. He amazes me, completes me. And he thinks I'm pretty and he kissed me and held me so much, and never went farther than I was comfortable with.

This guy... Amazing, amazing, amazing. Talked on the phone again tonight when I got home from our date, and we really just connected and shared with each other. There definitely are good guys out there... Guys that you don't have to try and control, or keep on a leash. You just have to believe, and be open and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Yes... You can get hurt badly. Imagine if I met him and he thought I was a guy, or if he thought I was ugly. That would probably have been the end of it and I would be in so much pain. But without allowing myself to really open my heart to him, I couldn't have felt half the things I did with him, and maybe we would have never met.

Btw, he is so hot. Unbelievable. Even my mom agrees! And he's the *only* guy on the site I messaged, and the *only* one I was interested in. I had been eyeing him for months (yes, I signed up for the site soon after I went fulltime hahaha) before I finally filled out my profile and messaged him. YES! <3

That's great to hear Kyh.  I hope it all works out :)

Quote from: Mermaid on June 14, 2013, 08:49:07 AM
It might just aswell have been a joke, but it's akin to saying a woman's place is in the kitchen and that they must be trained to cook and raise children. The point isn't whether it's a joke or not, even if it's a joke it's a sexist one and of extremely bad taste, that's what I tried to point out.

"Typical girls talk" shouldn't have to consist of sexist jokes. If that's the case, then those conversations should be kept private and restricted to circles of like-minded sexual bigots. This is a public place, visited by men and women alike, so I believe people should be the least bit considerate and wary of their "jokes".

On your comment regarding "Sex and the City"... Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was always inclined to believe that this was a forum mainly aimed at providing support towards transgender individuals and their families, not a TV show about the frustrations and sexual exploits of lonely middled-aged women.

Anyway, forgive me if I was too blunt in my post, I don't wish to make myself anyone's antagonist for pointing out a comment, it's just that I found it rather creepy and offensive and felt it was my place to say something. =)

I agree with you for the most part.  I hate sexism no matter what the targeted gender is.  I just think that jokes are a bit different.  If a male friend of mine told me to make him a sandwich as a joke, I'd laugh it off.  If he yelled at me to do so and was serious, then I'd be offended.  Tone and context usually are the key to how I will interpret things. 
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Arch

So far, this thread has stayed civil for the most part. Let's all be careful and keep it that way.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Keaira

I think this is going better than the last time the subject came up. Then again, wasn't it the same person who started that thread too?

One thing I like about the boys is I don't feel envious of them or like I have competition, because there's a lot of pretty girls here. :P
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Naomi

So I made a dating profile, (I'm listed as girl looking for girls so I guess no boys involved here) and I've gotten some interest. However the opposite of what I expected has kind of happened. I thought it would make feel good but somehow it's making me more dysphoric. T_T
あたしは性同一性障害を患っているよ。

aka, when I admitted to myself who I was, not when my dysphoria started :P
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xchristine

I have extensive dating experience all with men!!
25 years worth ..omg I'm a tramp....

You can tell the ones to basically send mixed signals to...
Talk lik your totally a sex slut. Than slap thier hands
For touching.. 
Those guys are the ones that are focused on sex and think
I will get on my back....I don't do validation sex.....

Some guys will be more romantic...talk to you....
Ask what your interests are..take it slow...

But be prepared you cam br seduced by charm.
And liquor ..learn which drinks are panty remover ...
Hahaha and drink a lot with the right man or send
Mixed signals. .

I usualy make them pay an  enormous amoint of attention to me
Weeds out the ones that only Care for breeding you...

It's experinxe. .sometimes I dance with men I'm clubs...sometimes
Let then touch my ass..but it's all play
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xchristine

That is not what I said ..
I can tell the ones only for sex...I play games....waste thirr time
They play with my heart telling me bs ....I jeep rhier hopes up
To eventually tell them I don't really have sex ...and even tell them
A fake storey of a tag team....than say I don't sleep around...
They eventually realize they got played...they think that were dumb
Sometimes and all girls are attention starved....I do not do validation
Sex...meaning I don't slut myself out to confirm I'm a woman
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kyh

Quote from: xchristine on June 17, 2013, 07:41:46 AM
That is not what I said ..
I can tell the ones only for sex...I play games....waste thirr time
They play with my heart telling me bs ....I jeep rhier hopes up
To eventually tell them I don't really have sex ...and even tell them
A fake storey of a tag team....than say I don't sleep around...
They eventually realize they got played...they think that were dumb
Sometimes and all girls are attention starved....I do not do validation
Sex...meaning I don't slut myself out to confirm I'm a woman

Oh okay :) I misunderstood you then.
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Jess42

Do not over think this Tristen. Just let it come naturally. Guys will not care how you kiss. Just follow their lead. French kissing is bassically just rolling toungues around in each other's mouths so not too much to think about there. Play a little hard to get but not too hard though and I am not talking about the sexual aspects. Too hard and they think you don't like 'em and not hard enough and they'll think your easy. Every guy is different with the dating ritual. Some are agressive and other's not so much. Some are bold and others shy. No matter how they act, they all have insecurities. Only thing I can tell you is just enjoy the game, don't overthink or analys things to deep and it will come naturally and if it don't you'll learn as you go.

Hope this helps a little.
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xchristine

Oh my....is medroxuprogesterone the same results of depo provera?

Hmmm I had no idea it makes me....ummm you know!!
Just thought I was fantasizing when I caught myself
Looking at a hot guys butt....and arms....and eyes...

And I'm surounded by men at work....and new managwr this
Week and hrs @(++ hot
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pebbles

It's all about the talky talk if you don't hit it off personality wise with common interests then things will be awkward the rest is generally pretty easy.

French kissing? If your not used to it I can only suggest going light begin abit coy is better than making him/her gag but if your confident don't hold back.

As for sex on the first date, I once again disagree with the majority on this forum... It depends entirely on what you want from a relationship.

While almost all of us want loving long term relationships that's easier said than done.
To that end I don't think it makes you trashy to take a lover for a night and know that it probably won't go any further. Sex is fun love or not... Although I won't deny it is much more fun/amusing when your in a trusting loving relationship because there's less inhibition and grandstanding. (Insulting each other FTW)

"You penis is hideous it's like a haggis ate a set of b->-bleeped-<-ipes."
"It only looks like that because of how ugly you are."
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yasuko14

Hmm I agree with Talky talk. You gotta flirt it out. Play hard to get, like you don't really want it. Be a tease and play around, that way you get a feel for them. Men are usually very simple. It's the ones that are prince charming Mr.perfect from the start that are dangerous and play mind games. 

The setting where u meet the guy matters a lot to. Say if I went to a bar and met a guy, there's a high chance hes not my personal type (personality wise)  just for the very fact that hes at the bar. I suppose it depends what kind of guy your looking for, you have to look in the right environment to find they type of guy you want.. Rather it helps to look in the right environment.

If I wanted to meet a guy down for some kinky stuff, Id hit up a trendy bar full of fresh 21 yearolds.
If I wanted a smart guy more for intellectual company and maybe a rounded relationship, maybe Id go to a cafe or study at the college campus and socialize.

Its not a guarantee, but it ups the odds. Also don't try to hard, men like a little challenge sometimes.
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xchristine

Quote from: yasuko14 on June 21, 2013, 09:05:33 PM
Hmm I agree with Talky talk. You gotta flirt it out. Play hard to get, like you don't really want it. Be a tease and play around, that way you get a feel for them. Men are usually very simple. It's the ones that are prince charming Mr.perfect from the start that are dangerous and play mind games. 

The setting where u meet the guy matters a lot to. Say if I went to a bar and met a guy, there's a high chance hes not my personal type (personality wise)  just for the very fact that hes at the bar. I suppose it depends what kind of guy your looking for, you have to look in the right environment to find they type of guy you want.. Rather it helps to look in the right environment.

If I wanted to meet a guy down for some kinky stuff, Id hit up a trendy bar full of fresh 21 yearolds.
If I wanted a smart guy more for intellectual company and maybe a rounded relationship, maybe Id go to a cafe or study at the college campus and socialize.

Its not a guarantee, but it ups the odds. Also don't try to hard, men like a little challenge sometimes.

Very well said!!!
You said what I wanted to much more eloquently..
Thank you
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JennX

Quote from: Tristan on June 21, 2013, 10:51:54 PM
Your so correct. Mr perfect normally does turn out to be bad. One was to possessive and physically controlling with the back hand, this new one seems to be nice but we will find out this weekend

Yeah... see... If a guy ever (and I do mean ever) has the thought of putting his hands on me in an inappropriate manner... he'll soon find out, postop or not, what 3 years as a HTH (hand-to-hand Level 4 Combatives) combat instructor in the Army taught me. And it will be a lesson he will not soon forget either. I also have black belts in BJJ and Northern Tiger Style KF. Basically... depsite my appearance... I'm not the b!tch to f^@k with.
;D
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton
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xchristine

Mmm i wish i was as strong as you...
Im à weak little thing...featherwigjt or even lighter...

I remember a man that I wad living with ...
He used to abuse me...and it terrified me into a
State of complete utter fright..

He outweighed me be easy 50 lbs and two inches taller..
And he was all tone.
I learned very early that it might hurt less to not fight back
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