This isn't trans related, but I found out something recently that has broke my heart and made me so angry. I keep self harming for being so stupid in the first place. I want to find the people who have hurt me, and beat them until God knows what. Every moment of every waking day I have this anger in the pit of my stomach and I just feel so hurt. I feel sick. It's not going away. I wake up hoping it was a dream. I can't announce too much publicly but I really need someone to vent to. I can't get over this anger and I don't think I will. I don't trust anyone anymore.   

I can't let it go. I don't know the person personally so I won't ever see them again. But this has affected how I think about a lot of things now. I'm so angry and hurt and just Arrrggghhhhhhh

I know how you feel. I spent years being abused by people I had never harmed in any way. I've had my best friend of over a decade spontaneously cut me out of his life. I've spent years being colossally angry, with each new incident summoning all the previous hurt as well, compounding the anger. I've wanted to rip some people limb from limb, so I can totally sympathize.

One thing I've learned over the years is that resentment is extremely toxic. It eventually wears you down, where you're unable to escape its misery. The hurt does not go away on its own, you have to move past it. I wish I could tell you how, but I don't really know. I'm still not over some of mine. In many cases, time has rendered the incidents irrelevant, but I can't say there isn't still anger buried, waiting for the next idiot to dig it up. Still, I can at least get on with my day, now. Nevertheless, in the few incidents where I have been able to forgive the other party (I'm really not good at this), I've felt a lot better afterwards. "Sorry" is a powerful word. Alas, I wish I knew how to forgive the unrepentant, if only for my own sake.

I hope you feel better soon.

Could do what I do and vow revenge, plot to take over the world, and channel that anger into gaining power, listening to angry music, and fantasizing. I'm told some of those aren't healthy, but I've accomplished more than people told me I could. Mainly from channeling the anger into gaining power.

I agree with Edge on everthing about channeling anger.

Just take some really deep breaths, try to calm yourself and think of the consequences you'll face if you hurt or worst to someone else. They're not good.

Self harming is not good either.

The thing that I hate about society in general is often times people are hurt emotionally and physically out of ignorance among a lot of other things. I've come to realize that's just how it is and it's probably never gonna change. If someone says something bad about me, Oh well. I can tell them something negative back or I can be friendly to them and tell them anything positive really. This generally disarms them and a lot of times let them see just how foolish they are.

Best thing to do is try your best to let the anger go. If it's affecting you physically I would suggest learning some techniques to help let it go. You could just find a private place and scream it out at the top of your lungs, I have done this and it helps. Find a place to hang a bag and just keep punching until the anger weakens, I have done this also and it too helps.

Thanks everyone. At the minute the consequences of hurting someone seems a lot better than not. It wasn't even ignorance what they have done to me, which makes it harder. I don't even have to see them again yet my blood still boils at the thought of it.

QuoteYou could just find a private place and scream it out at the top of your lungs, I have done this and it helps. Find a place to hang a bag and just keep punching until the anger weakens, I have done this also and it too helps.

These are actually great ideas. Thank you. I've always wanted a punchbag but I'd never thought of hanging up a bag. This will help me hugely.

Thanks everyone.

No problem Joey. It isn't always ignorance hon, sometimes it's plain ol' stupidity. Glad you are better though.

Joey, I am quite concerned. Have you discussed your feelings with your therapist? I am just thinking of some of your other posts, and it seems like anger is really affecting your well being lately. Your therapist will probably be helpful if you're open with him/her instead of hiding your true feelings.

That said, meditation is helpful. 

I spoke to my therapist and she asked me how I'm going to deal with it and I said I don't know. I've never felt this angry and hurt before. I don't even want to eat and I'm hardly sleeping. People don't know what to do because there's nothing they can do to change what's happened. I feel just as powerless as them but completely broken at the same time.

I write. I know it sounds like a simple solution, but when I'm so angry I can't function, I write. Pen to paper and scream-o music. Often it starts out with writing the word ->-bleeped-<- over and over like a mantra or pages of scribbled frustrations, but I eventually get to the point where I am writing pages and pages of everything I wish I could say to these people -- every swear word, every emotion, every chaotic bone in my body goes into writing. Then I destroy it. Tear it up in tiny pieces and throw it away. Alternatively, I heard people send their letters out, which could be an option too.