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Has anyone ever thought about having a kid?

Started by justwright88, June 20, 2013, 12:45:41 AM

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justwright88

Well. I kinda want a kid with my own DNA. I'm have gf. we both want to get pregnant at the same time? If i have the kid in the hospital is there a way that i can be listed as the father instead of the mother? and can I still take T while pregnant?
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rexyrex

I don't think it a good idea to be on T or start T if you want a kid, or you can have your eggs frozen.
Cant help about the father monther thing as i don't know much about it, hope others can help. And good luck.

Edit: i just seen your other post it seem that you have been on T three years it may not be possable for you to have kids.
Started Testosterone: 2013
Top surgery: 2014
Bottom surgery: 2016
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justwright88

I stopped T about 6 months ago for about 3 months and I got my period back fast. I think it's possible to have kids if i go off of T at least thats what the dr told me. I was wondering if I stop again, can I restart T when i'm like 3 months.

I would do the eggs frozen things but it's very expensive and I don't have that kind of money.
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Erik Ezrin

I'd love to be a dad, if it wasn't such a chore as an FtM. Carrying a baby would be one thing, but giving birth just... right now it scares the crap out of me!
Adopting is ofc an option, but I'd prefer a child of my own genes. Chances are I won't though... I'll just see what the future holds.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

My fb art page; https://www.facebook.com/BellaKohlerArt
My DA art page; http://asrath.deviantart.com/
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justwright88

I understand that. Mine would be the whole carrying aspect. I live in an anti gay place. other one is i don't want to have my period again. i hate it and plus i'm scared i could turn out like my mom she had two hemorrhage with me and my brother. she died but they brought her back to life and plus she had to had a hysterectomy me at 33. and i'm getting close to that age. i'm 25.

I wouldn't mind adopting if it wasnt so much of a process and complicated.
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Erik Ezrin

Well, I already HAVE periods right now, so where I am it can only get better, lol. But I'm sure that once they are gone, I'd never want them back!
And being a guy with a showing pregnancy belly will be... more than slightly awkward...
Right now I definitely wouldn't want it, but who knows? I try to keep an open mind :)
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

My fb art page; https://www.facebook.com/BellaKohlerArt
My DA art page; http://asrath.deviantart.com/
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Jack_M

You cannot take T while pregnant and would have to stop prior to planned pregnancy and then stay off it during pegnancy, so you could easily be talking a year or so, and that's assuming you can get pregnant straight away.   T can harm the baby. If you were to have a female child it could cause anomalies in their genitalia causing more male like traits. It may be okay if you have a boy but I think most docs would advise to not take T at all.  Also, while you may get a period that's just the prep for an egg, it doesn't mean you're definitely ovulating viable eggs. After 3 years on T, viability might be affected and you might struggle to get pregnant, or even might not be able to at all.  This is why they suggest freezing eggs.

It's definitely doable and has been done, but it's a huge commitment, it could take time to happen so planning to be pregnant at same time as your partner can't be banked on. And it can't be said how long you'd end up having to be off T.  But if this is something you want to do, then discuss your options with a doc.
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justwright88

 I'd have no problem getting pregnant. My eggs are in perfect shape. that's why i took a little break from T was to check somethings out since I was on T for so long plus i have a obgyn problem so i like to be seen

Do you know about how much it is to store the eggs?
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justwright88

I also think me taking a break was great. I am noticings more changes now then before I was on T.
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FTMDiaries

I've had two kids pre-transition, although I've known I'm transsexual since long before I had my kids. I managed to get through pregnancy by seeing it as just another bodily function, rather than a 'womanly' thing. (To be perfectly honest, one of the reasons I got pregnant was to see whether it would help me to identify as a woman, but of course that didn't work). I don't regret for a second having my children and I dearly wish I could have more.

At your age, provided your eggs are viable, you should be able to try for a baby if you want. You do have to go off & stay off T for quite some time though. Thomas Beatie did just that, and he successfully delivered three children after having been on T for about 11 years.

I will tell you this, though: I recently asked my GP about the possibility of storing eggs for future use, and she's dismissed the idea because of my age (I'm in my 40s). But she said that it's incredibly expensive to remove & store eggs and the eggs will only be viable for a couple of years (I think she mentioned 4 years). You'd have much more success if you had eggs harvested and fertilised, then store the embryos for future implantation.

And as for who gets named as what on the birth certificate: Texas is very complicated (and - no offense - pretty backwards) about this kind of thing. You'd best look up the laws in your area.





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kaiju

I couldn't do it. I've thought about kids, and it's not an option for me, now or ever, but if it ever did, I would adopt. Pregnancy and the thought of using my body makes me ill, I dunno.

Even if your eggs are healthy and your body seems to bounce back from the effects of T quickly, it's not a guarantee that you will be able to become pregnant or maintain a pregnancy easily. Some people have done it, yeah, but I think it's more of a case by case basis. I know a guy who tried this with his husband. He stopped T after being on it for two years and they tried everything they could to get him pregnant. They even resorted to fertility treatments, which resulted in the start of a pregnancy, but it didn't work out. I believe after further analysis, he found it might not be possible due to a family history of complicated pregnancies and his own body being really confused/unbalanced after consistently taking T only to be pumped full of female hormones, etc.

His dysphoria was also the worst it had been in years, so it is something to think about as well. If you're ready and want to proceed, I'd talk to your doctor and dig around to see what your options are in terms of egg storage/fertility assistance.

Texas is NOT likely to allow you to be the father on the birth certificate, unfortunately. They don't even let people born in their state alter their own birth certificates, which is vital documentation used for marriages and other fun things. I dunno, mate. Were you born in Texas, or did you just move there? If you're originally from a state that allows you to amend your birth certificate, that might allow you to be the father on the certificate if your girlfriend did the pregnancy thing, but if you carry a baby and deliver it? Texas will probably deny you that title. :/
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Simon

Why not use your gf as a surrogate?

It would be completely easier in every aspect. She could be listed as the mother and you as the father. She will be carrying your "seed" (in a sense) and you won't have to stop your transition to pump yourself with female hormones (ack).
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Mr.X

Never, ever have I considered it. Aside from the fact I really do not like kids, the mere thought of getting pregnant is making me so dysphoric that I would kill myself if it were to happen. I would simply not be able to deal with it.

That being said, I agree with what others said before me. It will be a long, hard process and getting pregnant may be hard for you. It seems best, also for the baby, that your wife would carry it. Also, adoption might be a long and hard process, but getting pregnant yourself sounds a lot harder and risky to me.
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Hayzer12

My girlfriend and I plan to do sperm donation, as if I were any other infertile male. We are going to look for guys that are similar in build, height, hair color, eye color, personality, etc as me.. and make a choice. Sperm donation isn't incredibly expensive, and I feel that that's our best option. As much as I want a child to be biologically mine, I don't really have that option.
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AdamMLP

#14
I couldn't do it.  End of.  If I was bothered about having a child with my own genes in then I would try and get my eggs implanted into my partner, but I wouldn't want to risk passing on any dodgy genes on to them.  Until they know for sure what causes transsexualism and depression then I won't want to take that risk.  They don't fully understand the effects of testosterone on fetuses either, so I'd be very wary of trying to carry a fetus through to term, if it's even at all possible for you to do so.  I know you say that you start menstruating quickly again, but there's no guarantee that your fertile, if it was that simple to tell then fertility tests for people with ovaries wouldn't exist.

And don't forget the impact it will have on your life, not just going off T for pretty much a year, but also being a pregnant man.  That's not something you can hide unless you're carrying one heck of a lot of extra weight, and that brings its own risks for pregnancy in its self, or if you don't pass.  Some things might happen during pregnancy with the masses of hormones that T won't bring back into a male shape either.  Also, have you thought about what it's going to be like if you and your partner get pregnant at the same time?  Things aren't easy in the latter stages of pregnancy, neither of you will be able to work, and you'll have two little terrors vomiting and crying all the time.  And as anyone who's had twins will tell you, it's not cheap either.

That's not to say I'm going to tell you what to do, or flat out that you shouldn't do it, only that it needs to be thought about a lot, and you should probably consult your doctor on this as well.
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randomroads

I'm wondering why you'd insist on having a bio child. Is there some kind of amazing trait passed down through your family that the world would benefit from? Is your family free from mental illness, cancer, heart issues, and thyroid problems? Can you honestly say that creating another human being would be a good thing, despite all the medical issues you might pass on? Could you live with yourself watching your child struggle with medical issues while knowing YOU are the reason he/she has them? Not to mention, what about the unknowns? Scientists are starting to consider transgender(ism) as a birth defect. You know what else is a birth defect? Autism. Cerebral Palsy. Multiple Sclerosis.

These are all the questions I asked myself when I was a pre-teen. There are plenty of kids out there already born and it's not their fault they don't share your bloodline. In my not so humble opinion they deserve the chance at a normal happy family more than your biological offspring do because they're already HERE and suffering from lack of a stable family (foster homes can be great places, but they aren't HOME).
I believe in invisible pink unicorns

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Devlyn

Quote from: justwright88 on June 20, 2013, 05:48:24 AM
I'd have no problem getting pregnant. My eggs are in perfect shape. that's why i took a little break from T was to check somethings out since I was on T for so long plus i have a obgyn problem so i like to be seen

Do you know about how much it is to store the eggs?

First result on Google:

Frozen Egg Cycle $17,500
Less Wait and More Donors
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Faun

I could never ever do it. I would rather drive a rusty nail through my eye and into my brain than get pregnant and give birth. For me(idgaf about other pregnant people) it would be like having a parasite that feeds on my blood and makes me sick. Plus my dysphoria would destroy me. Just the thought of it makes me shiver :/
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Simon

Quote from: Faun on June 20, 2013, 05:19:30 PM
Just the thought of it makes me shiver.

I'm with you. When I first read the post earlier I got nauseated. Never happened to me before but just thinking about it...phew. I'm glad my internal plumbing is probably in a lab somewhere.

I don't care what anybody else does with their bodies. I just can't comprehend how a man (especially one medically transitioning) could carry a baby for nine months, give birth, and not feel female during that time.
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justwright88

I know Texas wouldn't allow it. I don't plan on being here for much longer anyways i'd probably go back to Oregon and do it. seems like it's much easier there.
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