Hello guys and dolls.
I'm taking a page from Rebecca's book in her 'What does it feel like to be male?' and asking the opposite.
What does it feel like to be female?
Because I honestly don't know. When I was a child, I thought all girls came with an instruction manual on "How to be a girl." and mine had obviously gotten lost in the mail.
I think I had only one female friend my entire life, and we were seven. Observing female relatives doesn't work because I've always known them.
Would some ladies here be so kind as to cite a few passages from their instruction manuals?
Thanks.

Nero

Hmm, even though I had to live like a guy, it's still hard to explain.  I'll try anyways.  For one, I can finally *feel* emotions.  As a guy, it felt numb.  I get to be beautiful and have people give me attention.  As a guy, I was pretty much ignored.  As a woman, I am now seen as an innately good person, but as a guy, people looked at me with unfounded suspicion.  I finally am having a body that feels right to me, it always felt wrong and disgusting before.  I feel like I have SO much more freedom as a girl.  Girls can get away with SO many things.  As a guy, you are expected to follow a strict protocol right down to what clothes you can wear and hobbies you can have.  I guess I felt so restricted before, but now I feel so free and wonderful.  I also disliked everything that was expected of me as a guy.  Things like having to use muscles (I had the strength of a girl), standing up for people in fights, being arrogant, and thinking about sex all the time (I didn't).  As a girl, it's very easy for me to meet all the expectations for a woman.  That's about the best I can explain it right now.  I hope that helps.

Posted on: June 28, 2007, 04:10:38 PM

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Oh yeah, another thing.  As a guy, I had to always be on guard and make sure I didn't touch people so that they didn't feel uncomfortable and so sexual harassment would not be called on me.  That was one thing I lived in constant fear of and I know most guys don't think about it to that degree.

I will tell you in a few weeks LOL

appropriate, peaceful.  it fits me like a glove

I never received the manual for how to be a guy. It's OK since I don't want to be one anyway I can't say I truly know what it is to be female either, I only really know how it feels to be me.

zythyra

Quote from: Nero on June 28, 2007, 05:36:13 PM
I think I had only one female friend my entire life, and we were seven. Observing female relatives doesn't work because I've always known them.
Would some ladies here be so kind as to cite a few passages from their instruction manuals?
Thanks.

Nero

Thats one of the key things for me, the deep and long lasting friendships that I have developed since I transitioned.I now have friends that actually care and enjoy being with me (and I with them).Women bond through communication, shared experiences and emotional ties, I never could do this with guys as friendship was more functional than anything else.

Buffy

Quote from: Buffy on June 28, 2007, 08:27:49 PMWomen bond through communication, shared experiences and emotional ties, I never could do this with guys as friendship was more functional than anything else.

Yeah, and men seem to bond through activities, shared experiences, and 'war stories' (doesn't necessarily mean he's ever been to war lol)

It just feels soooooo me! 

tink

It's funny in my case.  I have this problem where I think what is true for me must be true for everyone else. 
I thought all guys secretly felt the way I do and everyone were just trying to act too macho to admit it.  Apparently I was wrong and that wasn't the case.  For me to say I know what it is like to be female would make a lot more sense.  I guess guys don't really want to be pretty or identify with female characters in books or TV shows. 

Quote from: Buffy on June 28, 2007, 08:27:49 PMThats one of the key things for me, the deep and long lasting friendships that I have developed since I transitioned.I now have friends that actually care and enjoy being with me (and I with them).Women bond through communication, shared experiences and emotional ties, I never could do this with guys as friendship was more functional than anything else.

Buffy

Yep, Thinking back I used to call my friends just to talk for an hour or two, some of them idulged me some of them were like "why did you ring me?" what being me now means is that I can finally stop worrying about doing the wrong social thing and just do what I want and I'll blend.

Quote from: Mattie on June 28, 2007, 10:34:34 PMI thought all guys secretly felt the way I do and everyone were just trying to act too macho to admit it.  Apparently I was wrong and that wasn't the case.  For me to say I know what it is like to be female would make a lot more sense.  I guess guys don't really want to be pretty or identify with female characters in books or TV shows. 

I thought everyone was like that, boys and girls.  It took me a LOT of years to finally see that I really didn't have anything in common with the average guy and had a lot more in common with the average female.  In fact, it was the realization that for the overly-virilized guy, it WASN'T an act -- that this was the way he was naturally, and that I lacked that bit of programming entirely -- that factored into my epiphany.  That and the sudden flash of insight on WHY I seemed to get along better and was more comfortable with women, but had so few romantic liaisons.

What does it feel like, now that I no longer have to censor myself?  Great!  But I'm having trouble describing it -- words like 'emotion' and 'sensual' and 'pamper' and 'cuddle' can be attached to aspects of it -- wearing feminine clothing feels so right and correct -- now that I finally allow myself, joy sneaks up on me a lot more often; simple joy at the antics of a child, or a sunset, or a shared moment with someone else...

Obviously, I'm still having fun collecting data in this research assignment 

Karen

Quote from: Mattie on June 28, 2007, 10:34:34 PM
It's funny in my case.  I have this problem where I think what is true for me must be true for everyone else. 
I thought all guys secretly felt the way I do and everyone were just trying to act too macho to admit it.  Apparently I was wrong and that wasn't the case.  For me to say I know what it is like to be female would make a lot more sense.  I guess guys don't really want to be pretty or identify with female characters in books or TV shows. 

Yep, it was the same way for me.  As a teenager, I soon realized I thought much differently than guys and I would come up with rationalizations to explain such as me being a different religion or that I had a higher IQ or that I was just more mature.  All of these were just excuses to avoid introspection.  Eventually I had to face the truth though.

I wish I knew too. Turns out I don't know anything 

Wow, that's realy not an easy question to answer at all!

I suppose, apart from the fact that in my head I didn't have a male body, it was basically the fact that I just always wanted to spend time socially with girls, to talk about everything under the sun together, to share stories, to share emotions (good and bad)... I just always felt connected mentally and emotionally to girls in a way that I never did with boys.

With boys I always felt I had to watch what they were doing and then try to copy it to fit in.  One thing I certainly never even got close to understanding was what was so interesting about toy cars and why it was a good idea to have play fights from time to time!  I thought they must be pretending that all that was fun, but of course I now realise they really did enjoy that stuff, for real.

Thanks Nero, for making my brain ache trying to answer that one!!

MVER XXX

Quote from: Mattie on June 28, 2007, 10:34:34 PM
It's funny in my case.  I have this problem where I think what is true for me must be true for everyone else. 
I thought all guys secretly felt the way I do and everyone were just trying to act too macho to admit it.  Apparently I was wrong and that wasn't the case.  For me to say I know what it is like to be female would make a lot more sense.  I guess guys don't really want to be pretty or identify with female characters in books or TV shows. 

QuoteJan Morris - "Conundrum" (1974)

I wondered occasionally if others might be in the same predicament, and once choosing a particular friend at school, I tentatively began to explore the subject.  It had occured to me that perhaps mine was a perfectly normal condition, and that every boy wished to become a girl.  It seemed a logical enough aspiration, if Woman was so elevated and admirable a being as history, religion and good manners combined to assure us.  I was soon disillusioned, though, for my friend deftly diverted the conversation into a dirty joke, and I withdrew hastily giggling and askew.

Me too    !!!

Was just 15 when I read that (courtesy of our public library - how embarrasing to take the book to be "stamped" ?) and it rang so true ....

Still can't understand guys and what makes them tick, just know they and me are so soo different !

Guess its part of the attraction ?

Laura x

Natural and comfortable.

Quote from: melissa90299 on June 28, 2007, 07:04:13 PM
I will tell you in a few weeks LOL

Melissa, does surgery really make you female  ?

I've known a few post-ops who's "feminine credentials" I'd really question    !

LOL ....

Laura x

Quote from: Laura Eva B on June 30, 2007, 10:33:19 AM

Quote from: melissa90299 on June 28, 2007, 07:04:13 PM
I will tell you in a few weeks LOL

Melissa, does surgery really make you female  ?

I've known a few post-ops who's "feminine credentials" I'd really question    !

LOL ....

Laura x

She has known that she is, for a very long time now.

To me, what she meant by hers was congruity and completeness.

No doubt exists in my mind, as to her fundamental feminine essence. 

To answer your question accurately, I need to have been something else to compare the two states.  I cant.  Ive always been female. I have never been anything else.  It feels like its supposed to feel:  adequate.

It feels MAGNIFICENT.

The journey oft fraught with extreme stress, bitter and uncontrollable crying, psychic damage at the hands of certain 'professions'......

did I mention the copious amount of tears shed....

is worth it.