So I said in a previous letter that I'm going to be out to the whole family before the month is out. I plan to tell the parents either 28th or 29th (bear in mind my mum gets back from holiday on 27th), and then send a generic e-mail to other family members straight after. I could do personalised emails, but frankly that method would be far too emotionally exhausting.
Here's the first draft of my coming out letter:
"To all that this may concern,
There is something of monumental importance which has been bothering me for a very long time. In fact, in many ways it has been a source of discomfort for almost my entire life, and in particular has plagued my mind and left me considerably depressed since the onset of puberty. However, it is only comparatively recently that I have become aware of exactly what was wrong, and thereby allow myself to come to terms with it.
I am transsexual. In other words, I am a woman, and not a boy or a man as the world has seen me to be for the past two decades in which I have lived. I feel uncomfortable not only with my body, but with others seeing me as and regarding me as male in day-to-day life.
Consequently, in order to avoid a life filled with dysphoria and depression, I have to transition and live as the woman I am. It is not a matter of personal choice – it is a life-saving measure. In many ways, this will make my life much more difficult, but the alternative is simply not an option anymore.
I am not the brother, son, uncle or nephew of anyone – I am a sister, daughter, aunt and niece who has been forced to wear a male mask for far too long, and now I want to start a new life without pretenses. You will see me for who I truly am for the first time. There will be changes, there will be ups and downs, but there is no doubt in my mind that it will be for the better in the long-term.
Subsequently, I no longer wish to be referred to as [BIRTH NAME REDACTED]. My new name, which I intend to become my legal name in the future, is Cassandra ('Cass' and 'Sandy' are both acceptable abbreviations). Naturally, I am aware this will require some getting used to, but my birth name is one that pains me to hear, and so I would appreciate the effort immensely.
I am aware that this is an awful lot to digest, and also that there are probably many questions you have about the matter. I am more than happy to answer any queries or concerns you may have – you can do so by replying to this e-mail, or by phoning me, whichever is easier. (Though I'm sure most of you have my mobile number already, just in case you don't it's [PHONE NUMBER REDACTED])
Remember, I love you – you are very dear to me, and I only hope that you will still be able to love me as I undergo this frightening yet necessary process."
I figured that I may as well make it short, and then other concerns can be dealt with at their own pace.
So does it seem OK?
