I'm post-op orchiectomy I've been on hormones almost a year and a half. I have gone through the painful laser hair removal. All of this pain and money to live everyday as the woman I was meant to be.  No one ever notices me (Well except for the creepers creeping...) and I have had all my identification changed to female. I'm still on the fence about SRS, but for me that is not what defines me as female... Yeah, sure I would like to have it, but right now my insurance doesn't cove it. I can't even fathom paying 25 to 50 thousand dollars for it. I would rather put that towards my child's collage fund.

The thing is that I'm married and have a good life. I'm a stay at home mom now and my spouse is the primary bread winner. She always has been. It's funny it seems as though are gender rolls have always been reversed. I truly believe this is one of the reasons our relationship has been able to withstand my transition.


So I guess what I wondering is... When do you know when transition is done? Did you set out to have an end set of objectives to complete or is it more of a state of being and living? Or is it continuously still evolving? I feel as though I'm complete. I guess... Maybe I am for now anyway, just until my insurance decides to cover SRS.

This is me the other night after working out... No make-up and grabbing a beer with my sweetie.

1025280_304870846315509_406152506_o by ReaganStewart, on Flickr

Reagan I think transitioning is done when you say it's done. As long as your happy with yourself that's all that matters.

For me, it was the first day I went to work as myself. I was officially full-time then (had been outside of work for months already) and never looked back. I hadn't even been able to do my name change yet, for unrelated reasons, but figured that was bureaucratic hoops and not relevant to how I felt. I personally felt that I was 100% female and ready to move on with my life at that point.

GRS was purely for me; it was nobody else's business if or when I had it done. If you're comfortable where you are, that's terrific! Don't let anybody pressure you to do things you don't want in order to be "fully transitioned."

For me it was after srs and my weight got down to 120 lbs. and I got hit on at least twice a month. But I feel like everyone else. It's for everyone else to decide when they are finished

I don't really think of transition as moving from one solid state of being to another.  I don't think life is like that.  I think it's more plasmic, where the experiences of our lives are unbound charged elements-sharing, colliding, and informing the whole in this big, loosely connected, rolling miasmic cloud.  I don't know how you see where an element of your life has a beginning or end, and I certainly don't see how you can ever feel like transition or being trans is put behind you for good.   The experience of going through this whole thing, like every other experience we have, informs, often in ways we don't even see, who we are, were, and will become.

I would say transition ends when you have no memory, conscious or otherwise, of going through it nor of being born this way and all the ways that has impacted you.   That is not something I am working toward or hoping for, because we're talking about either severe brain injury or death.

Quote from: Jen on June 20, 2013, 05:30:10 PM
I don't really think of transition as moving from one solid state of being to another.  I don't think life is like that.  I think it's more plasmic, where the experiences of our lives are unbound charged elements-sharing, colliding, and informing the whole in this big, loosely connected, rolling miasmic cloud.  I don't know how you see where an element of your life has a beginning or end, and I certainly don't see how you can ever feel like transition or being trans is put behind you for good.   The experience of going through this whole thing, like every other experience we have, informs, often in ways we don't even see, who we are, were, and will become.

I would say transition ends when you have no memory, conscious or otherwise, of going through it nor of being born this way and all the ways that has impacted you.   That is not something I am working toward or hoping for, because we're talking about either severe brain injury or death.

Well spoken, very articulate Jen! I've been at it for 19 years and expect to be in some state of transition until the day I die. If it isn't some physical change or embellishment it's some ongoing internal learning experience. I don't think I've ever come to the place even in things I have excelled at where I can say I have arrived. What's true in everyday life for most people is also applicable in this instance!

Quote from: Jen on June 20, 2013, 05:30:10 PM
I don't really think of transition as moving from one solid state of being to another.  I don't think life is like that.  I think it's more plasmic, where the experiences of our lives are unbound charged elements-sharing, colliding, and informing the whole in this big, loosely connected, rolling miasmic cloud.  I don't know how you see where an element of your life has a beginning or end, and I certainly don't see how you can ever feel like transition or being trans is put behind you for good.   The experience of going through this whole thing, like every other experience we have, informs, often in ways we don't even see, who we are, were, and will become.

I would say transition ends when you have no memory, conscious or otherwise, of going through it nor of being born this way and all the ways that has impacted you.   That is not something I am working toward or hoping for, because we're talking about either severe brain injury or death.

Such a great post! One of the best I've read. I wish I could give you two thumbs up. Not only pretty but smart too! I'm super jealous lol jk well a little. In all seriousness, this almost makes me appreciate being trans which is something I never thought I'd say and I have no memory of not being trans so it is a pretty integral part of me. I'm going to incorporate this philosophy into my own life. Love all the physics parallels too!

Some very good responses!

I guess that transition is such personal thing. It seems like a very intimate choice as to where it ends. Maybe it never fully ends. Maybe this is just something that will forever be with us. Kinda like a really bad scar. I don't think that I could ever forget where I came from or who I was. Maybe it's just my age or that I don't have any regrets. That being said... life sure is a lot more fun. I enjoy living now. I still have struggles, but it seems they are now becoming less and fewer now. I think the biggest step towards completion was my orchie. Removing the main source of testosterone was huge. I have been and feel completely different since. For me the doctors had a hard time controlling it. It also reeked havoc on my brain.

Thanks y'all! I really enjoy hearing from ya.

~Rea

After srs, my transition will be complete.

Apart from one or 2 small things, I consider my transition complete. I live my life as the woman I am and always gave been. I've worked, loved and lost as a woman.

I know I was still living as a man a little over 3 years ago, but I don't quite believe it.

I will consider done transitioning complete when I slap that first patch on my flesh. That may seem odd but that is when I feel I will have control (of sorts ) over the journey. No more inquisitions, no more tests. I am comparing it to when I visit the USA and I pull away from the airport in my car. No more, desk queues, security , no more flight delays, flight transfers, border control, customs, queuing at Alamo or Dollar for a vehicle........I have control of the car if perhaps not where the roads may lead.

(a few moments ago, the postman came and went.........Still no letter. Dear God jut how long does it take to test blood?)

I considered "transition" complete the day I walked out of the hospital in Trinidad (Colorado). Then I WAS the girl I was destined to be and the rest was just living it! I had a lot of growing and learning to do but that was just part of life. More than 39 years have passed since then and I still see it the same way. 

Quote from: Northern Jane on June 29, 2013, 08:59:59 AM
I considered "transition" complete the day I walked out of the hospital in Trinidad (Colorado). Then I WAS the girl I was destined to be and the rest was just living it! I had a lot of growing and learning to do but that was just part of life. More than 39 years have passed since then and I still see it the same way. 

That must have been Dr. Stanley Biber. I'm not sure, but I think there was some kind of ruckus at Trinidad not long ago and Marcie may have mover her operation to California. I dunno for sure, anyone have any information about that?

Quote from: kyh on June 29, 2013, 05:22:26 AM
After srs, my transition will be complete.

I love the new pic. and i agree with you and some of the others. i felt like transition was complete when i had my downstairs mistake fixed 

Quote from: Tristan on June 29, 2013, 11:34:46 AM
I love the new pic. and i agree with you and some of the others. i felt like transition was complete when i had my downstairs mistake fixed 

Dodgy boiler?

whats a dodgy boiler?

Quote from: Shantel on June 29, 2013, 09:21:04 AM
That must have been Dr. Stanley Biber. I'm not sure, but I think there was some kind of ruckus at Trinidad not long ago and Marcie may have mover her operation to California. I dunno for sure, anyone have any information about that?

I sure do Shan, I was Marci's "new girl" back in January of this year, and she now uses Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame California which is where I spent three and a half days as a "guest of honor" and another 5 days in a Residence Inn in San Mateo.  Burlingame is 10 miles south of San Francisco.  The hospital in Trinidad Colorado had been causing her problems after she took over Stanly Biber's practice, both in terms of what they wanted to charge her and the patients, and the community it was in was also changing and becoming less hospitable to Trans* and families.  Her main office and her scheduling staff are still in Trinidad, and they are happy there.

As far as the original topic here goes --- I think transitioning is over on the first day of the rest of your life when you put on both yourself and your clothing and makeup and say "this is how it is from here on out!"  The paperwork involved is mere details.

Quote from: Shantel on June 29, 2013, 09:21:04 AM
That must have been Dr. Stanley Biber....

Indeed it was - I think I have a very low 2 digit serial number LOL!

I considered Dr. Biber my saviour and wrote to him every year on my "anniversary date" to let him know how I was doing. He did my surgery for free because I had been on the verge of suicide for years (I only paid the hospital fee). When he died, I cried!

Quote from: Northern Jane on June 29, 2013, 04:22:05 PM
Indeed it was - I think I have a very low 2 digit serial number LOL!

I considered Dr. Biber my saviour and wrote to him every year on my "anniversary date" to let him know how I was doing. He did my surgery for free because I had been on the verge of suicide for years (I only paid the hospital fee). When he died, I cried!

I don't blame you Jane, I hear that he was a real sweetheart of a guy and obviously it is true if he was so kind and compassionate as to take care of you free of charge. I'm sorry he had to pass away too, the good ones always seem to go and the nasty old crotches just seem to go on forever.

Quote from: kyh on June 29, 2013, 05:22:26 AM
After srs, my transition will be complete.

Echoing this sentiment, just got here later in the conversation.  just have no idea where I am getting the money