Hello all!
I was led to this site by my spice C, as a way to help me navigate some of my emotions as she transitions. It seems she was right, and this forum will help (just don't tell her I said she was right!)
A small bit of background: C and I have been together for several years, these last three years have been a long distance project that I cannot wait to end. She came out to me a few months ago, and it seems like its been a whirlwind since. I have learned more terms since that night than I thought even existed! I will admit to being a bit of a rollercoaster. I'm terrified of the relationship ending. She has the makings of a stunning woman, and in the back of my head I'm always fearful she will decide to find someone closer. Or decide she doesn't want to deal with my baggage.
Kind of complicating things (in my head) is my other spice. I am poly, and I am married to T. T knows what is happening with C. T is not involved with C other than knowing about her. At times I struggle balancing T's needs and C's needs. The distance alone means T gets more time, and I know it affects C at times. <----- this is the aforementioned baggage I envision C saying is too much.
C is starting HRT any day now, and I'm excited, scared, and all sorts of anxious. She tells me I'm silly for being worried she'll leave, and I hate having her and T be my sounding block. I know my reactions are normal and expected(she says), but it isnt worth upsetting her over my insecurities.
So, here I am, in my jumbled up messy intro
I'm ready to learn, grow, and have a constructive supportive sounding board filled with people who are in my shoes and who have made it to the end
So far I like what I've seen (been terrified of being judged for any fears)
