My wife and me split 3 months ago she said she just didnt love me anymore and ended it.
She did not know about my inner feelings of being trapped in the wrong body/life.
Anyways the reason for being scared is that last night she rang me and said she has a new boyfriend and wanted me to know , so i just came out with it all and literally come out in full glory! Told her everything i had been feeling since the age of five. She was shocked and had no idea but did say she understands and i can trust her because of our kids ( 2 of ) the problem is can i ? If she were to out me it would destroy me and my kids and everyone else around im sure of it.
Can i trust her?
Anyone with any experience of this situation please put my mind at ease x.

Very worried girl.
Ria.

I'm sorry I can't personally relate but I'd say the answer lies best with you. Take some time to clear your head and pick up the thought again after, is my advice. And I wish you best of luck.

Either she'll keep it to herself or not. If not, most people hearing this will forget it or not care. After all, it doesn't affect them.

If word gets out, well there absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in being transgender.

Hope this helps, Ria.

She said she understands, so hopefully you can take her at her word there.  There's no guarantee, but if you had been with her as many years as you had, and if she is the sort of person you would have wanted to be married to, hopefully she would trustworthy enough to respect your feelings.  On some level she may even be happy that you have been able to move on to things that could have been difficult if you were still together.

I'm not sure if this will help but my last wife with whom I have an 11 year old daughter has always considered me to be androgynous - my daughter says that I'm a feminine man. In the industry she works the gender issues are well accepted. We have joint custody of our daughter and I have recently told her than I am am a transexual and started HRT. We are still good friends and she has been very curious about this subject and has been very supportive. She says that I have become a nicer calmer person and when I tested her convictions saying that I was going to stop - she encouraged me to give it more time. She really feels that I am a better person and that my calmness will be great for my continued good health, we have become even closer. I have to add some points that make my senario different - I left her and had a bitter financial settlement court battle which we worked out in the end (lawyers encourage the wealthy to mistrust each other to their financial benefit), she is a really beautiful woman but has not found a man she can trust. I still manage her finances as she does trust me. Just announcing your are TG is no big deal - its when you blow it out to the public when passing or RLE that people take notice. Legally, no grounds for an advantage. Plan how you are going to proceed don't say things at a whim if you are worried about social and work pressures. Good luck

Quote from: Ria c on July 03, 2013, 01:47:44 AM
Told her everything i had been feeling since the age of five.

Hello Ria,

There something I don't understand. Why did you wait so long to tell her ?

Thanks everyone for your responses.
As to why i never did come out before its because
Of me coming to terms with who i am also fear and not wanting to hurt anyone.

Ria x