I've been buying more clothes (men's) and now getting into switching my underwear, socks, shoes and pants because that's what I have the least of in men's clothing. I bought some of these things but I have a lot of embarassment and fear of judgment for buying the men's underwear and sometimes the shoes and pants as with shoes you have to talk to a clerk now to get them in a lot of places? I know I could say they are for my boyfriend or a guy I know but no one would believe me and it just seems so dishonest. I do it anyway but I'm not buying as quickly because of fear of judgement. I'm guessing some other people have this issue when buying clothes from an "opposite" gender of which you were born. What are coping skills? How do you get around people's weird looks? Just do it?

I would say, just go for it. You'll find that a lot of store clerks will just ring you up and go about their day. They could care less about what you're buying. Confidence is key here. Just walk up in there like you own the place, get your clothes, and go about your business.

Quote from: Tadpole on July 04, 2013, 08:18:33 PM
What are coping skills? How do you get around people's weird looks? Just do it?

I used to use a shopping list just so that it would look more like I was buying for someone else.

Dpadgett628, I agree. Best to instill confidence and not think about it and look fearful when you get to the checkout. I know because I've done it enough that during the times where I was able to be confident about it I felt better and everything went smoother. It also seems to depend on the store a bit though (the layout of the store and attitudes from clerks).

Hey Constance, that's a very creative idea! I might try that sometime.

Thanks!

I would just buy them and be done.  I do agree that confidence is the key.  If you walk in there and look all nervous, then you will attrack people's attention and only make them think you are hiding something.  You might actually "tell on yourself" by being nervous.  Are you presenting as a female?  Even if you are, it doesn't matter since it's more acceptable for those who are percived as female to wear the opposite gender's clothes. 

If you're still worried then buy a few other things to go along with your purchase (snacks, drinks etc.)  That way it doesn't seem like you came in only to get male clothes.

Make sure you have your money ready to purchase with.  That way you don't have to take a long time fiddling with cash and being there for longer than you have to.

Hey Malachite, I guess I could say that I am presenting as a male. I do agree that some of the taboo against women (perhaps especially more feminine women) wearing men's clothes is gone and this definitely has something to do with the feminist movement of women protesting on the right to wear pants and not have to wear a bra. Now there are so many women that wear dresses rarely if at all and still present as women and feel comfortable identifying as women. I don't think that guys who wear women's clothes have it as easy in this way. People are more likely to look at it as some kind of fetish or something.
I was really nervous I got when I bought my first pair of boxers a couple of weeks ago. I was so nervous and I'm sure the clerk thought I was hiding something. I think if I was less nervous things would have gone a little bit smoother as you said.
It's pretty funny actually looking back at that experience and what I could learn from it. I think that crossdressers of all persuasions have probably experienced some nervousness in buying the clothes of the opposite gender.
All of your suggestions are great.

Next time you go in to buy some men's clothes, just take a quick look around at the other people shopping in that department. I'm willing to bet you'll find at least half of the customers are women. You'll also find family groups, such as couples or mothers & sons, browsing through the clothing & buying stuff.

A lot of guys don't bother with buying their own clothing, leaving their wives/girlfriends/mothers to buy stuff for them - and yes, that especially includes boring, everyday things like underwear. So don't worry: the clerks couldn't care less; they've seen it all before. As Malachite says, they won't even think twice unless you look incredibly nervous - and even then they're more likely to think you're nervous about something like shoplifting. 

You're perfectly entitled to buy any product that is offered for sale to the general public. Anything. So when I go into the men's department, I hold my head high, ask for things if I don't see what I want (in my girly voice), and march right into the changing rooms to try them on. It's all about confidence.

Yeah, exactly. My mum used to buy shirts and underwear for my dad all the time, 'cause he's too lazy to do it himself, and no one ever twitched a muscle.

Besides that isn't it as much looked down upon as males buying female clothes (poor MtF's, seriously! :<). I bought a men's shorts a few days ago, my mum was there (I'm not out, but she approved, even though she kept steering me towards the more 'feminine' male stuff or pointing out 'nice' female things I 'really should try'), and I really felt like I was passing, UNTIL my mum started chatting with the lady working there, saying "Yeah, SHE will go to Rome next week. Ah, yes for HER graduation. I'm sure SHE'll have a great time." and I was inside the changing cabinet, feeling like I could sink to the floor RIGHT THERE. The lady who helped me still didn't say "Ehhh, those are men's" or "Are you sure? The women's are over there", etc. she might have looked a bit oddly, but I'm sure that was all in my head. (and she knew it was for me, as I tried it on in front of them, and my mum said I needed shorts 'cause it would be hot)
In other words; the people of the store don't CARE whether you're a (genetic) female buying men's stuff or visa versa, they just want you to BUY stuff, that's it. As long as they can sell things, they're happy.

And especially boring, non personal things, like underwear, socks (do SOCKS have a GENDER btw!? Wtf!), shampoo, etc. are pretty common to be bought for someone else. (I was asked to bring a bottle of Axe for a friend some day, as well before identifying as trans, and no one gave me a weird look)

The comments about confidence are correct. Eventually, I felt like I didn't need the shopping list and I would just walk in like I owned the place. The shopping list was like a security blanket at first, and eventually I grew out of it.

Like others have said, it's getting acceptable for women to wear men's clothing (at least in Western nations). No one really looks twice at me when I am shopping in the boys/mens department, even on days when I am not passing.

Also, I wore a pair of boys sneakers to work and one of my cis-female co-workers said she liked them and asked where I bought them, so I told her the truth: boys department at Target. She said "oh wow, I never thought of looking in boys, I don't like much of the women's sneakers, they're all too pink now." 

You'll feel a little weird at first, but over time you'll get comfortable.

I also like to add be on the look out for deep price cuts so that way you can stock up on a lot of the guy items.  I was at Target about a year ago with a female church memember and saw a sale of nice boxers ranging from $3-$5 as well as guy's clothes.  Needless to say I got about $40 bucks worth and even the church member got a pair of boxers of her own. Funny enough I never really wore any of them as I prefer female underwear but  if you rack up during sales then the clerks might just think your buying because it's a sale.  I know there are a lot of people out there who would buy something even if they never needed it, just because it's on sale.

the first time I bought male underwear I went up to the cashier, placed it on the desk on top of my other purchases and then gave the poor girl this 'yes, I'm buying male underwear, you got a problem with that??' aggressive stare. Now that I look back on it, that probably wasn't the best attitude to have, but at the same time it kind of worked because of the confident vibe I was giving off and that made me feel more confident and empowered in myself.

Quote from: Malachite on July 05, 2013, 10:54:56 AM
Funny enough I never really wore any of them as I prefer female underwear but  if you rack up during sales then the clerks might just think your buying because it's a sale. 

I also don't like male undies too much because there's that extra cloth there that just takes up room since I don't pack, but I recently found a great compromise-- Hanes has come out with female boxer-briefs called the "boyfriend shorts". I picked up some at Target for like $5-8 for a 3-pack, and love them. They're just like the men's version but without the extra material.

sales people will be helpful they don't care as long as they make an sale,besides be proud of your self and be yourself

I'm kind of okay with female underwear myself, as long as it's not the lacy, frilly kind. I'll wear cotton jockey underwear and it fits really well under clothes. I'm still comfortable with the idea of wearing some female clothes as long as they are more masculine looking. I like the boxers I bought too, but they don't fit well under clothes so I was thinking of trying men's briefs or more fitted men's boxers and see what I think of them. I might switch over.

Tadpole - you have NOTHING at all to worry about.  Most of the guys I know have their clothes bought for them by their female SOs.  Just the way things are, so go an splash out!

Hi...
This is something that is unique anywhere in the world... buy clothes   ...

Let's be honest ... whatever a seller? Sell ​​... ok? 

So... is what I tell everyone... if you will buy ... no matter if it is to use, throw away, set fire, cut.... etc ... the seller wants $$$$ ...

Ask me what I do to buy women's clothing and high heel shoes ... but I say this: "Look my face of worry ..."