I'm Genderfluid and would like my appearance to be a bit more flexible.

My hair is currently long - just past my shoulderblades - and I tend to just wear it tied back all the time and not think about it too much. It's this way because it's nearly always been this way. I did go short for a little bit while in university and had various results:

me aged about 19:


19/20:


20/21:


and then I let it grow out again.
I think I got to the point where I was putting on a bit of weight and felt that shorter hair just made my face look rounder (though to be honest getting the fringe probably didn't help there).

right now I look like:


so I'm not carrying as much weight facially, but I still don't have the thin face I had at 19.

I guess my real fear is that if I get my hair cut short again, it will look terrible and then I'll spend the next 6 years or so trying to grow it out.

this is the sort of thing I'm thinking about:




though my hair naturally parts just off center on the right side of my face, so maybe this wouldn't work.

so... help please?
Suggestions of hairstyles which would suit my face better would be good.
Or how to go about finding a helpful hair stylist.
Or just tell me it's only hair and I can always wear a hat if it turns out awful.

right now that whole thing just makes me want to freak out. I want this. but I'm scared.

I've got a quiff (the style where the sides are <1", top is a few inches), and it's SUPER popular among nonbinary people these days, it seems like. I love mine, though-- it was originally a more practical adjustment of a mohawk that I didn't have the time or know-how to style. I don't know what the longer variation is called though. :\

Those photos are very cute, but if you're nervous about taking the plunge I'd say to forgo the close-cropping on the sides and get a pixie or bob cut so you can adjust to having your hair that short again and see if maybe you're alright with keeping it at that length and don't feel like taking more off. I will say this, too. When I had the top at about the 10" length and straightened it, it was really difficult to give it volume and it almost ended up looking like a combover. The models in those photos have a ton of texture and volume going on, and the top one for sure as a lot of product. Just keep that in mind when deciding on a cut.

ETA: Oh and re: your natural part, parts can be changed, definitely. I have no part now, but it took a little bit of working with the hair to get it to start growing in a different direction.

Thanks for the comment and suggestions =) I know what you mean about the texture and product - when my hair was shorter, I felt I had to do a lot with it every morning to get it how I wanted it, so I'm prepared for that.


Having spoken to my mum yesterday, she mentioned she has a haircut coming up and I should tag along and talk to the stylist about ideas. I might do that because I think it'd be good to get a prof opinion.

Your current hair would read "guy" if you pulled it back to a very low, tighter ponytail-- try to control the wisps, maybe even a smidge of product to make them go away. For gender fluidity it's a really good style-- have you explored it? I hang with a lot of creative types and about a quarter of those guys are doing this look.

The cut you had before with the blunt bangs (the bunny ears) reads masculine to me. The other short cuts have to my eye less potential to read masculine, because of the beautiful detailing with your long bangs and the shaping.

I wish you luck with a stylist. I have not managed to get what I want from them-- they are trained to do "flattering" haircuts that make me look more feminine, like they are doing me a favor, and even with pictures etc. they adapt it in the F direction because they think it is obviously the right thing to do.

You would look very different with that cut than the fashion model in the photo. Still, the look might work for  you. If you're really apprehensive about going too short, though, maybe you shouldn't. I think consulting a good stylist might be wise at this point. At any rate, I think you're very good looking and will look good no matter what cut you get.

~ Lyric ~

Cas,
    I think it would be smart to ask others where you live as to which stylist really knows hair and go there for a consult. I have been growing my hair back out after a chop job and have been seeing the real go-to gal in my area. I suggested a style that I really liked and she told me that it wouldn't work because different styles work well only with certain types of hair texture, so your texture determines your level of success with a given style. Best not to waste money on something that doesn't work out well and feel the disappointment!

I really like the hairstyles you posted, and I think you could rock them. I had a similar style to that top one but slightly shorter on top, and I loved it. However, they'll probably tend to be read as 'queer woman' more than 'ambiguous gender' if not combined with factors like binding and masculine clothes (especially if you leave the top that long; men's haircuts are rarely that long on top). I started being read as a man much more often once I cut my hair really short (1/4" on the back and sides faded to 1" on top), but that's a big jump to make from long hair. I say go for one of the styles you really like, and you can always get it cut or shaped differently later if it's not ambiguous enough for you.

When I had long hair (nearly to my waist!) I had a very strong part, perfectly centered. It was annoying for the first few weeks or months of having a pixie cut, but it eventually went away. Just keep styling it, keep putting it where you want it even if it protests, and eventually it will give up and cooperate. Now my hair grows straight forward (except for a cowlick on one temple >.<) with no part.

Oh, and find a good stylist. I went to a Hair Cuttery-type place for the big chop, and I was thrilled to finally have short hair, but the cut really could have been done much better. If you live in or near a big city, you could try looking up a queer-friendly salon or barbershop. The best cuts of my life have been done at Barbara&Barbara in Chicago, if you happen to be nearby.

Quote from: Cas on July 06, 2013, 08:06:32 AM
Or just tell me it's only hair and I can always wear a hat if it turns out awful.

It's only hair. No matter what you do to it, it will keep growing.

Quote from: Cas on July 06, 2013, 08:06:32 AM
so... help please?
Suggestions of hairstyles which would suit my face better would be good.
Or how to go about finding a helpful hair stylist.
Or just tell me it's only hair and I can always wear a hat if it turns out awful.

right now that whole thing just makes me want to freak out. I want this. but I'm scared.

How about the following style?



He is a famous crossdresser in Japan. About 2 weeks ago, I showed this photo in my smartphone to the hair stylist, and asked her to cut my hairs accordingly.

barbie~~

Quote from: Reedling on July 07, 2013, 10:58:47 AM
Your current hair would read "guy" if you pulled it back to a very low, tighter ponytail-- try to control the wisps, maybe even a smidge of product to make them go away. For gender fluidity it's a really good style-- have you explored it? I hang with a lot of creative types and about a quarter of those guys are doing this look.

The cut you had before with the blunt bangs (the bunny ears) reads masculine to me. The other short cuts have to my eye less potential to read masculine, because of the beautiful detailing with your long bangs and the shaping.

I wish you luck with a stylist. I have not managed to get what I want from them-- they are trained to do "flattering" haircuts that make me look more feminine, like they are doing me a favor, and even with pictures etc. they adapt it in the F direction because they think it is obviously the right thing to do.

Yeah I do tend to do the low ponytail often when in guy mode.

I do think that I need to be completely honest with the stylist, when I find a good one, and explain that I don't want it to look feminine.

Quote from: Lyric on July 07, 2013, 11:21:22 AM
You would look very different with that cut than the fashion model in the photo. Still, the look might work for  you. If you're really apprehensive about going too short, though, maybe you shouldn't. I think consulting a good stylist might be wise at this point. At any rate, I think you're very good looking and will look good no matter what cut you get.

~ Lyric ~

Thanks ^^ and thanks for the advice =D

Quote from: Shantel on July 07, 2013, 11:35:43 AM
Cas,
    I think it would be smart to ask others where you live as to which stylist really knows hair and go there for a consult. I have been growing my hair back out after a chop job and have been seeing the real go-to gal in my area. I suggested a style that I really liked and she told me that it wouldn't work because different styles work well only with certain types of hair texture, so your texture determines your level of success with a given style. Best not to waste money on something that doesn't work out well and feel the disappointment!

Yeah, wise advice. I definitely don't want to rush into anything and end up with something that looks terrible. =/

Quote from: androgynoid on July 07, 2013, 01:57:38 PM
I really like the hairstyles you posted, and I think you could rock them. I had a similar style to that top one but slightly shorter on top, and I loved it. However, they'll probably tend to be read as 'queer woman' more than 'ambiguous gender' if not combined with factors like binding and masculine clothes (especially if you leave the top that long; men's haircuts are rarely that long on top). I started being read as a man much more often once I cut my hair really short (1/4" on the back and sides faded to 1" on top), but that's a big jump to make from long hair. I say go for one of the styles you really like, and you can always get it cut or shaped differently later if it's not ambiguous enough for you.

When I had long hair (nearly to my waist!) I had a very strong part, perfectly centered. It was annoying for the first few weeks or months of having a pixie cut, but it eventually went away. Just keep styling it, keep putting it where you want it even if it protests, and eventually it will give up and cooperate. Now my hair grows straight forward (except for a cowlick on one temple >.<) with no part.

Oh, and find a good stylist. I went to a Hair Cuttery-type place for the big chop, and I was thrilled to finally have short hair, but the cut really could have been done much better. If you live in or near a big city, you could try looking up a queer-friendly salon or barbershop. The best cuts of my life have been done at Barbara&Barbara in Chicago, if you happen to be nearby.


It's only hair. No matter what you do to it, it will keep growing.

Thanks for all the advice =D
I don't live in a big city but I'm going to try asking around to see if there's anything more queer-friendly around.

Quote from: barbie on July 07, 2013, 02:31:16 PM
How about the following style?



He is a famous crossdresser in Japan. About 2 weeks ago, I showed this photo in my smartphone to the hair stylist, and asked her to cut my hairs accordingly.

barbie~~

I hope your haircut went well and you're pleased with it! =)
I think the style reads a little feminine for me (although it's hard to tell what it would look like without the part and the product).
I did look at some longer short styles which might end up suiting my face shape more. Really I need to talk to a professional about it. Thanks for the suggestion =)

I am going through the same thing ATM, and have decided to move the more masculine type style after years of long hair in a pony. I spent some time looking at pictures of guys with faces of a similar shape to mine and just went with a haorcut that looked good on them. So in a couple of weeks I am going in to get my hair cut very short on the sides and long in the front. Which as previously stated is very popular with non-bianary people right now. I thinlk part of the reason for that is because it can be very versatile if you style it.

Keep us posted on how your quest is going?

Quote from: jesseofthenorth on July 08, 2013, 12:38:18 PM
I am going in to get my hair cut very short on the sides and long in the front. Which as previously stated is very popular with non-bianary people right now.

Long, like chin length?  Or a little shorter?

I've seen a few people with hair about chin length (well, young boys mostly LOL) and it seems very cute but I envision it being hard to keep it out of the face.  I'd be forever trying to fit it onto a ponytail!  But I'm a long-time longhair and haven't had it shorter than halfway down my back since 7th Grade.

But its fun picturing new styles! 

Definitely find a good stylist and talk with them about what they think would fit your face.

Some of how drastic you cut might depend on how quickly your hair grows. When I finally took the plunge and went from a really awkward looking bob (I couldn't *quite* commit to really short hair) to a pixie cut, it was because I realized that my hair grows REALLY quickly, and if I didn't like it, it would be a completely different hairstyle in a month. Now my partner cuts my hair with clippers and it's super short, and I love it.

One other thing with really short hair: it can be lower maintenance day-to-day, but it does require more frequent haircuts to keep it up. One of the reasons I started going for the clippers and an extra short cut was that I couldn't afford going to a stylist anymore: I was having to go every four weeks.

I have naturally wavy hair. For anyone who knows gintama... It means i don't have to care too much about cutting it evenly if it's more than 2" long, cause then it curls and hides everything. So i only ask a professional to cut my hair when i want it really short (in my neck, where it's difficult to cut it myself). Happens a few times a year.

The easiest way to get short hair, is to start with shorter than long, and then go through even shorter before getting to what you think you really want. Easier to let go of the length.

well I took the plunge and booked the day! One week to go.

I ended up tagging along with my mum to her hair stylist and having a chat with her and she seemed absolutely lovely. I was very honest in explaining that I wanted something that could be styled masculine or feminine and she didn't bat an eyelid... even when I showed her images of guys. So I think (hopefully) I'm on to a winner here.

Quote from: Taka on July 19, 2013, 02:35:39 PM
I have naturally wavy hair. For anyone who knows gintama... It means i don't have to care too much about cutting it evenly if it's more than 2" long, cause then it curls and hides everything. So i only ask a professional to cut my hair when i want it really short (in my neck, where it's difficult to cut it myself). Happens a few times a year.

The easiest way to get short hair, is to start with shorter than long, and then go through even shorter before getting to what you think you really want. Easier to let go of the length.

I friggin love Gintama!!  Any one with hair like Gintama is AWESOME!!!

Quote from: dr girlfriend on July 26, 2013, 01:23:55 PM
I friggin love Gintama!!  Any one with hair like Gintama is AWESOME!!!

but it's not (naturally) the same color... and his always looks the same, since he's just a manga character.
my poor hair if i were to dye it silver, i've tried it before and it really dries it out. it becomes crisp like dead grass.

Quote from: Taka on July 30, 2013, 09:16:57 AM
but it's not (naturally) the same color... and his always looks the same, since he's just a manga character.
my poor hair if i were to dye it silver, i've tried it before and it really dries it out. it becomes crisp like dead grass.

HAH I guess there are advantages to being a drawing.

Quote from: dr girlfriend on July 30, 2013, 10:05:26 AMHAH I guess there are advantages to being a drawing.

I was thinking the same thing. I'm not bad-- I'm just drawn that way.