i'm really done with this embarrassing moments keep happen in my life today i was in a garden with my sis and there were some guys playing soccer near us and a player lived the team they were searching a guy to complet the team and they saw me ,i pass in public like 90% sometimes ,he come and say ''hey bro u wanna join the team we need a guy'' and my sis was like oh ->-bleeped-<- dude she's a girl :@ i really hope in that moment that land open and gulp me  seriously that so embarassing u coudnd imagine his face and thats always happen not only today,people always think im a cis guy and start talk to me as one and i always get embarased when i have to tell them my name,.. one day i took a taxi for work and the diver was talking about football and im addicted to foot and i gave him the matchs results and talk to him about the team and he was so happy and told me '' u should come to watch the game today im coming bring ur friends too'' and i didnt go ofc that really sad i wish i can live a normal life as any person or at last avoid those stupid embarassing moment  someimes i stay all the day in my room just cause i dont wanna live this misery i mean even i just go to a cofee u know guys join my table and start talking u know what i mean and i always have to avoid the truth and when they know they star laughing and tell jokes and stuff that really make me sick...and the big and the most calamity is about girls is when a girl try to be closer to me and at the end she know the truth she have to tell all her friends omg.. what u think guys i should do??this life its like hell...

Josef,

I'm sorry for the embarassing moment just a suggestion, but maybe talk to your sister / family about not outing you....if you explain it was embarassing for you and made you uncomfortable, then hopefully she won't do that again. As far as your name, can you geta name change? If not, maybe you could start asking friends/family to call you by a gender neutral nickname or just go by your initials. I'm wishing you luck &  hoping this doesn't happen again.

Quote from: jossef-ftm on July 08, 2013, 07:11:54 PM
people always think im a cis guy and start talk to me as one and i always get embarased when i have to tell them my name,..

I don't know about where you live, but here you can call yourself any name you want (unless it's for legal purposes, then you have to use your birth name if you haven't gotten it legally changed). You might even be able to get teachers to call you by the name you want if you're still in school. I still can't afford a legal name change but I use my preferred guy name for everything except stuff that people verify (like opening a bank account).

Quote from: jossef-ftm on July 08, 2013, 07:11:54 PM
and the big and the most calamity is about girls is when a girl try to be closer to me and at the end she know the truth she have to tell all her friends omg.. what u think guys i should do??

Don't be too discouraged. It seems like those girls are still immature and don't know how to respectfully ask you about being trans instead of gossiping with their friends. It can be easy to see someone act a certain way, or several people act a certain way, and then tell yourself "Oh what's the point, everyone's like that," but there are girls out there who will treat you with respect and not go tell their friends about it.

My advice is don't see your being trans as a bad thing; sure, some people will reject you for it, but you could say the same about anything else: some people don't like dating guys who are really muscular, some don't like dating guys who have a sense of humor different from them, etc. etc. Some day, you'll find a girl who is interested in you just the way you are, who won't judge you negatively or make you feel like less of the man that you are.

I totally agree that sometimes, life is just hell and that's all there is to it--but even so, it's that hell that's making you an amazing person who has a much better perspective on things than people with their ordinary, boring, easy lives. Sometimes I wish I had an easy life but then I think of what kind of person I would be, and I'd rather be the man I am today than someone who has never had deep, meaningful experiences, who takes everything for granted. Life's tough but once the tough part is over, you get to look back and say, "Wow, I can't believe I changed that much. Look at the person I've become today." Don't give up

If he told people he was trans, he could run the risk of being killed. So that's not a good idea.
Jossef lives in a not so nice place. If I remember correctly somewhere in the middle east?

The only advice I can give you is save money, and get out.
Keep your head high and move forward. Step by step you'll get where you want to be.

Some of us need to realize how easy we have it.

I'm not saying he should tell them he's trans. I'm saying he should just use a male name when he passes.

Quote from: dreaming.forever on July 09, 2013, 04:27:31 AM
I'm not saying he should tell them he's trans. I'm saying he should just use a male name when he passes.

He can be easily clocked by someone like his sister. He's in a crap situation, if he tried to be stealth he would run the risk of getting seriously hurt.

Ugh, my brother used to do the exact same thing to me.

Would it help if you explained to your sister that she might be putting you in danger by saying these things? If you explained to her that people might attack & hurt you if they found out you're trans, she might learn to keep quiet. Otherwise, spend less time with your sister whilst in public.

In the longer term, I'm afraid you're probably going to have to leave your homeland - even if only for a few years - if you want to fulfil your dream. So yes, save up & get out as soon as you can. You could always return home after transition if you wanted.

Have you considered applying for asylum in a more tolerant country? In my country (UK), asylum seekers get special protection if they're fleeing persecution in their home country due to gender identity or sexual orientation.

ty for the advices and replies and ''FTMDiaries'' i can save money and travel but its impossible to comeback home again if i travel i have to erace my family from my mind cause in my country they dont accept trans its an islamic country they kill us here so if i out and change name and have surgery i will never be able to comeback they will kill me if i put my feet on my country after the surgery...sex change=kill its haram in islam and this is hard my family is all i have in this life

sometimes i think why all that happen to me? tg people i know have problems but at last someone support them they always have a way to fix thing but me there is no way i mean all the doors to freedom are close idk why i have to live like that maybe god hates me maybe he enjoy seeing me sufring i really dont know

Quote from: jossef-ftm on July 09, 2013, 06:51:02 AM
ty for the advices and replies and ''FTMDiaries'' i can save money and travel but its impossible to comeback home again if i travel i have to erace my family from my mind cause in my country they dont accept trans its an islamic country they kill us here so if i out and change name and have surgery i will never be able to comeback they will kill me if i put my feet on my country after the surgery...sex change=kill its haram in islam and this is hard my family is all i have in this life

I understand and sympathise with you. It's terrible that they behave in this way but unfortunately the power is in their hands. I once lived in a country where I could be put to death for being LGBT, which is why I say you must get out of there if you want to be true to yourself. It's horrible to have to choose between your family and being able to be yourself. It's a terrible decision to have to make, especially when none of this is your fault.

Here in the UK we are much more accepting, even if things aren't perfect. There is even an organisation to help LGBT Muslims (presuming you follow that faith); perhaps they could offer some advice if you choose to leave. Their site gives some info about how to apply for asylum in the UK if you're coming from an Islamic country: http://www.imaan.org.uk

It would be interesting to see whether someone from an Islamic country could apply for asylum in the West, change their identity and then visit their family using their Western passport.

Quote from: jossef-ftm on July 09, 2013, 06:51:02 AM
ty for the advices and replies and ''FTMDiaries'' i can save money and travel but its impossible to comeback home again if i travel i have to erace my family from my mind cause in my country they dont accept trans its an islamic country they kill us here so if i out and change name and have surgery i will never be able to comeback they will kill me if i put my feet on my country after the surgery...sex change=kill its haram in islam and this is hard my family is all i have in this life

hey dude, i have said this before, but I am also in the middle east (though thankfully I am not an islamist). if you would like to chat sometime let me know. Who knows, we could even be in the same country. Just hang in there, Eid mubarak btw.

   

I don't have much advice to give, other than if you're passing really well and will never see those people again, could you tell them a gender neutal/unisex name and let them think you're male?  For example if you're on your own in the taxi?  Only if it's safe though of course, it's better to be alive and well than attacked for it.

I would really advice thinking about moving/seeking asylum, your family might not ever understand and might hate you for being against their religion, but if they could understand how painful it is for you living your life this way then they would want you to get away.

What about starting to think about where would you like to move when you're serious about it? If you know, you should try to make friends from the area on the internet (my roomate went to England to work for a couple of months and she made "friends" on facebook in a group of people who live there. maybe you should try something like this) I know it's hard because of your family.