Hi everyone
, I've been reading the forums alot to get a grasp on the effects a full on transition has had on other girls, and more so the effects the HRT regimen is/has had.
I suppose I'm due for a slight life story, so if you are interested in reading and can forgo the occasional typo due to my fast hunting/pecking skills, read on
So I am 29, will be 30 in August. I've lived female off and on my entire life, and each time self medicated. I am gender dysphoric, and if you have to guess, I lean female in my thoughts my entire life <3. I am now under medical care for my condition/transition. I've lived male here and there, but each time my fiance ( she is, I hate the term genetic so cis works female) says its so obvious it is rediculous. So for her I tried the male route, went into the army, got an honorable discharge after 3 years of a 6 year contract, and have 95% of my assoc degree under my belt
. I work full time as a home health aid, or direct care worker. Just last month we made the descision after years of trial and error on how to express my female side safely in our relation, to begin this transition full time. So, off to the dr. I went, my GP gave me a letter for an endo because I was stupidly self medicating and I'm the one who expressed to him I want proper medical treatment, and felt like I was on a dangerous path. Letter for HRT given, after expressing to him my full back ground story, which I may as wel dive into.
When I was a youth of the ripe age of 3, it was "time for therapy as my son istn right" according to my father. Between that age and the age of 17 (when I said ->-bleeped-<- all this nonsence), I have been diagnosed as Gender Dysphoric by about 90% of the counsilors, therapists, and psychologists I was exposed to to try and figure out for my dad why I was such a girly girl of a son. Each time they reccomended I see a specialist for "genetic testing" and each time, I was off to a new therapist to try and get a "new" diagnosis for my father and a way to "reprogram" his "sons" mind. Each time was utter failure for him and awkward for me. Around the age of 11 I discovered that my affinity for female clothing had everything to do with my personality. This is also the age I had my first cramps (ya, hence the "take you "daughter" to a specialist" which was always rebuked by my father and expressed as a need by my mother). For about two days a month from then untill 16 when "male" puberty hit, I would be curled up in a cramp filled ball of tears, to be called a freak by my father, and ignored after while by my mother. I also grew AA Cups up top at that time, but never a specialist. So I was always lsot, and once on my own in this world at the ripe at of 19- no therapist would ever write me a letter for HRT oddly because of my depression (uh, no wonder see above?). So, I went down the lonely path of self medication, and sexual experimentation to see if i was bi, a lesbian, straight? Eventually I fell upon Lesbian gender identity. Also, I forgot to mention how my mom abandoned me to my abusive father at the ripe age of 8 :/
So ya, at 26 I met the love of my life, who ironically, was one of my childhood best friends, who would do my eyebrows or nails when I'd run to her house between 13-17 from an abusive father.
I tried the male route for her as she was straight, (I'd always try to fit my identity to who I was with instead of to myself causing depression). But in the end, here we are, a content female couple
as she learned to slowly love me for my heart, soul, and mind, and not body
And for this I love her more then anythngin the world.
So now, I am pushing 30, and on real HRT for the first time in my life as of two weeks ago. (not measuring the self medication for two monthes prior). I started Spiro about 3 weeks ago, and am on weekly Estradiol Valerate IM injections. I wont give the dose, but I will say its low spiro daily, and high estro weekly. Shock HRT? My endo after running my genetics and full panel said my T was sky high and I had an extra sex chromosome. That helped "slightly" with our coming out to family, friends, who all love us the same and in some cases more as I am no longer an emotional wreck. It was still a "what" factor, and explained SO much, like my pre puberty puberty, why certain developments happened, why emotionaly I've always been female while it was trying to be forced out of me, and why I've enver been able to get my fiance preggers, cuz we both want a baby so bad
But I've always been sterile
(which I understand could have came from self medicating, but then I never did it to the proper amount to effect anything at all cuzx T was never supressed). T was somewhere in the 900 range first panel. WOW. lol. and my mind never got long with T, I was always easily irritated, would argue to argue, depressed, meh, social anxiety, list goes on.....
Anyhow, I just wanted to get an introduction out there and say hi with a slight back story to my current state, and that I am inspired by many stories here, and more so have been reading the HRT section like a crazy woman wanting to compare my progress to others.....which I'm not sure if I should post here or not about, but midway through two weeks, things are....amazing. and not a placebo amazing, but, I got some development properly like, curves slight fat redist, and my nipples have these little olive bumps under them if that makes sence, and are always always always sore :/ Although from what I read its a good sign but has me wondering because its usually a 2-3 month thing?
My libido dropped, like finally! No more morning wood, no more sex drive unless she stimulates me, everything is super sensitive....but im impatient on other development, like facial fat redist? I am 5'10, weigh anywhere from 170-176 depending on weekly fluctuations, and want to drop down to about 155 at least.... Weekly injections drive me INSANE because I want to have a stronger progress then currently, but I dont take more then prescribed obviouslly, and the fact my dose is SO FRIKKIN HIGH estro wise compaired to other girls I've read about here and there, I assume these "faster" results so far are pretty much a blessing so I'll take what I get from it
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But ya, hi everyone!
