My parents made me cut my hair. It is ugly now i look like a disgusting boy. I hate it i hate my hair and my self. Why was i born this way? why couldn't I have just been made a girl? Did god run out of parts of parts? And why wont my family love me for who i am why nust they force me to be a disgusting, macho, piggish boy? I loved my hair i spent a good 15 minutes in the bathroom crying till i had no more tears. I don't know what to do. There trying to get rid of any evidence i AM a girl. They even made me quit my job simply because they called me Jackie. Now i have no money to get a apartment. I'm scared and i don't know what to do. Here is a picture of me now. Please dont pic on me on how much i look like a boy now

awww I am so sorry your parents made you cut your hair. That's cruel.
You're not ugly Jackie, but I understand how it sometimes feels that way when you don't look how you're supposed to. I know how it hurts, especially when you're young, but try to hang in there. Once you're on estrogen, you'll make an adorable girl.

Hang in there, sweetie.
Nero 

I agree, it is cruel and unfortunate that your parents aren't supportive or understanding.  But if you are 18 or will be soon, you won't need their permission or approval always.  You can look for another job and make plans to move out and become independent, if that's what it takes.  The great thing about hair is that it grows.  And I agree, you'll look great as a girl when you're able to make the changes you want.  Hang in there.

Hang in there Jackie, maybe just think of it as a temporary setback? It'll grow back... I know that's not of much comfort right now, but it will. You have a wonderful future ahead of you! You'll be starting SO young... if you choose to transition, your results will be *fantastic*. And no, you're NOT a "disgusting, macho, piggish boy" at all. Your features are actually rather rounded and feminine already. Add a little HRT... and wow.

~Kate~

  Yeah. Hang in there. Once you're free to be on your own, you can do as you like. I don't understand what your parents problem is, but then I don't understand a lot of things.

  You know who you are. You know what you want. Keep it in your heart that you will have your day.  Kate's right, you're going to make out well once you begin treatment.

  Are you going to college? i hear there's a lot of support in those types of places.  Even if you don't go to college, work out a plan and goals for yourself. Try to stick to it faithfully.  At that time, you will be the one in control and so you will be the one responsible for your future. I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but I've learned from Cindi's story that if you have the determination, you will have the life you want.

  Take care of yourself. Do not allow yourself to become overwhelmed by negative emotions. Maybe you can find a way to express yourself that your parents can't do anything about. I mean like drawing, music, or writing.  If you are interested, you can create works that express how you feel. It's not the same as living it, but it should give you an outlet.

  You are not ugly. I understand your feeling that way, but you have a lot going for you.

Take care of yourself, sister,
   Your time will come.


Love,

rebecca

Hating yourself can be one of the hardest parts to live with especially as we are reminded of our physical appearance day in day out.

But this is only a transient state, time will come when you can be the person you want to be.

I am always reminded of the Hans Christian Anderson story, "The Ugly Duckling", where a duckling actually grows up to be a beautiful and majestic swan.

Your hair will grow back, your time will come.

Become that swan.

Buffy

Hang in there jackie,  You know a bit of styling moose a bit of makeup and your there.  Like every else said, HRT will work wonders on you.  I least you know who you are now.  It only seems like forever, but you'll be 18 soon. 

And no yor not ugly at all, Hair grows also.  Take care girl

Jackie,

At least your hair can grow back.  For many of us, well.....  'nuf said.

I am so concerned about you.  Hang in there.  You have a long life ahead of you, and pretty soon you will get to make all of your own decisions.  I know it's tough.  I thank you for confiding in me and am proud to call Jackie my friend!

Kristi

Thanks I dont know i  guess it is not as bad as i said. But im just scared cause there trying to erase every existance of Jackie and leave only Jake. I dont want to be Jake. As my Idol Parinya Charoenphol said "The only way i can truly live is when I die in this body." Soon as i move out im looking into HRT. I dont know how but i am finding a way out.


Love your cut sister
Jackie

P.S. i am going to the beach for a week so dont be scared if i dont reply back

Posted on: July 01, 2007, 11:51:38 PM

---

I remember what Kristi told me. "lay low for a while." And i think that is best i can hide it i can not dress up. Ok not dress up where my parents can catch me. basically ill only do it at my friends house who lives in  another town(Orange is the town btw...well basically that was just for Kristi and the other Texas girls) The only way they will truly think im a boy is if i over do it a lilo. Luckily im already into wrestling. Ill just become a big mwrestleing fan. Only not too much or they might think I am being a gay boy for the wrestlers. lol you can kinda think of it as i am a man who wants to be a women who is pretending to be a man and in fact dressing up as a man. what a crazy dance this Jester must sway too. i only pray that i truely am a jester. And not a marionet on my parents strings(my poet is showing)

Jackie