I consider you girls/women my friends, so I'll tell you, my brother passed away today. It isn't a shock, but it's devastating, because only in the last 22 months of my relationship of nearly 59 years on earth with him have we ever been close. He never understood me or cared to until I transitioned. And I'll always have a huge hole in my heart that he's gone now, because he finally cared to understand, love and accept me. I'd gotten to the point where I didn't think I gave a ->-bleeped-<- anymore before I transitioned, and was positive we'd have physical altercations when I started living as the woman I am. It wasn't like that at all, and I saw in his eyes many, many times that he was proud of me and a few times he told me as much. In honor of my brother and in his memory I have to tell a story about him that happened the day I took him to the hospital to have his liver drained. We thought I'd pick him up the next day, and he was really looking forward to having it drained, because it made him fat and uncomfortable. So he was in a really good mood when I took him.
Now you have to picture my brother, my till I transitioned, hard ass, mean spirited brother who once wanted to be a Hell's Angel. On the day I took him to the ER in April here in 1000 Oaks, about a mile from the hospital he said to me "Now Randi, (he never got to the point of calling me Miranda or Mira, I was now Randi with an 'I') you really look and act like a woman, so when we go in the ER I want you to walk tall despite your back, and once we get in the room speak in your female voice only, even when you're alone with me in the room, because if they come in and we don't hear 'em, I don't want them to hear your male voice, because I don't want the doctors and nurses asking me if my sister was once my brother!" and we both laughed really hard. To me, that was the nicest, sweetest thing he's ever said to me, because it was his best compliment he could ever give me. He knew how happy I finally am , and he ended up really respecting me for doing what I always knew I had to to be even remotely happy. And he's known since I was three years old I knew I was in the wrong body. I'll miss him sooo much and his acceptance made his daughters accept me completely, making me completely accept and understand myself even more. Thanks, Steve! I love you.