Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

De or Non Transition But not by Choice?

Started by vegie271, July 11, 2013, 09:30:30 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

vegie271



A little background on myself to explain why I am asking this. I was raised in a fundamentalist church which very much affected me. I did not come out until I left home and had my own job and apartment at 23 which was fortunate as my parents immediately rejected me. This was in 1987. Soon after I got into a relationship and was pressured to detransition, I did to have the relationship I ended up attempting suicide. After leaving her I transitioned again.

Again I ended up in a setting where a church put me through reparative therapy and I was stopped from the planned SRS that I had lined up in 1991.

There is more often in our society laws concerning not allowing forced therapy about orientation... good/bad? discussion

my opinion. = it is essential, it drove me to suicide and I have PTSD.  :'(

the problem is even with the laws these people are still doing it.  >:(


  •  

Cassandra Hyacinth

Wow, that's horrible. Condolences. :(

Sad to say, while ex-gay therapy is slowly losing its influence in society, 'ex-trans therapy' is still very much the norm and is the basis of gatekeeping.

I haven't suffered anything close to that bad, but since telling my mum about being trans, she filled my mind with so many doubts, I've since been... pretty stagnant. It's very frustrating.
My Skype name is twisted_strings.

If you need someone to talk to, and would like to add me as a contact, send me a contact request on Skype, plus a PM on here telling me your Skype name.  :)
  •  

Anna++

My parents have been fairly horrible, and I waited to come out until I was 100% confident in my identity.  But still... I don't see how "ex-trans" therapy could work any better than "ex-gay" therapy would.  Maybe it'll help suppress it for a little while, but in the end you would end up more damaged than when you started.  I am in favor of anti-conversion therapy laws, since it's proved to do more harm than good.
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



  •  

Tristan

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's very unfair. But when doing things at other people's command like to transition or not transition you can't think about it to much. It's easier if you just obey and do as your told if you can learn to do that. I find rewards (small) for accomplishing this weekly work well to reinforce the behavior needed in a positive way, but it sounds like your thinking alot. I would say do what makes you happy in this case and to find things that help occupy your time and make you feel good
  •  

vegie271



It still hurts a lot, and there is a great deal of regret, plus the fact that I don't believe I will ever get the money ever again to be able to afford SRS again  :'(

Now that I am on disability they do not allow me to have a savings account, plus they won't cover it., kind of a catch-22.




  •  

Tristan

Quote from: vegie271 on July 12, 2013, 05:41:11 PM


It still hurts a lot, and there is a great deal of regret, plus the fact that I don't believe I will ever get the money ever again to be able to afford SRS again  :'(

Now that I am on disability they do not allow me to have a savings account, plus they won't cover it., kind of a catch-22.






Why not get a job under the table as something like a waitress or dishwasher. You could save up the money fast without the government knowing. Or even getting your Cna and being a sitter. Pays good and pay is off the records
  •  

JennX

Praying the gay/trans/or whatever away is wrong. Period. It could be described as cruel and unusual punishment... and is barbaric. Such "therapy" should be outlawed.
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton
  •  

Tristan

Quote from: JennX on July 12, 2013, 08:57:07 PM
Praying the gay/trans/or whatever away is wrong. Period. It could be described as cruel and unusual punishment... and is barbaric. Such "therapy" should be outlawed.
Yeah I'm not sure that you can actually accomplish this without changing a person with like heavy drugs or Really aggressive ECT
  •  

vegie271

Quote from: Tristan on July 12, 2013, 08:50:09 PM
Why not get a job under the table as something like a waitress or dishwasher. You could save up the money fast without the government knowing. Or even getting your Cna and being a sitter. Pays good and pay is off the records




ok really I am not trying to be snarky, I am just supposed to show up in Thailand with $20,000 in cash that I collected in tips? quarters and such?  :angel:

1) how do I get it there

B) will they take it

iii) can the plane take that load

4) can I fit it in my suitcase?  ;D


because obviously I cannot bank it - it would be detected and they would take away me SSI and medicare


E) where does one get such a job? I have never worked an honest job in my life - always desk jobs - I have never worked under the table EVER - or considered it - I have ALWAYS been above board.  :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:


you would not believe this when I first transitioned my escort friend called me "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" younger people may need to look that reference up. (or I can post a link)


  •  

Tristan

Girl them jobs are all around ;)
And if you want to pay so the old keep the money in your mammas name or kids name. You have to think more low class or at least hood rich. :)
In this area I could teach you so much. Money off the books is so easy
  •  

vegie271

Quote from: Tristan on July 12, 2013, 09:09:02 PM
Girl them jobs are all around ;)
And if you want to pay so the old keep the money in your mammas name or kids name. You have to think more low class or at least hood rich. :)
In this area I could teach you so much. Money off the books is so easy




you don't understand, I don't have anyone in the world, I am alone. I am my own person, I have 0 support system, this website and other websites are what I have as friends. I have no face to face life.. I life in a cubical. It might as well be a jailcell, yes I can leave it so it is NOT jail, but I am not much safer outside than if I were in and exercise yard that is why I have a stun gun. Is it any wonder I make some of my posts?

I have been this alone since my wife died 10 years ago. I do keep trying to make friends,  I just have acquaintances.





  •  

Tristan

you can always bounce back. its never to late to get out there and live again.
it could be a new begining for you
  •  

vegie271



What am I supposed to do? I talk to people at every event and it is like I talk past them, they act t like I am a ghost., they are my facebook friends and that is it..

I have 66 of them , I am moving in 6 months and I know that I am going to have to pay to have people come and load my moving van. that is the kind of people they are

these people are the people who I have known for 6 years, I have worked with them for prop 8, given money to their group, worked with them  on campaigns, shown up when there was trouble I am always there, but when  I am in trouble zip zero nada!

this is the group where I knew all of the people and I could find no dates or any thing, or when my truck was stolen and I needed a ride there was no ride


  •  

Devlyn

 :police:  Advising someone to defraud the government through tax evasion is in clear violation of the TOS:

5. The posting of messages on the chat or forums which are of a threatening tone; intended solely to communicate sarcasm, contempt, or derision; are intended to belittle or ridicule a person or group; to disgust the viewer; contain obscene or pornographic materials; which are intended to titillate; or which depicts illegal acts; will not be permitted.


Let's stick to the original topic, and not give out ill-advised suggestions, please. Hugs, Devlyn
  •  

Sabrina99

Quote from: JennX on July 12, 2013, 08:57:07 PM
Praying the gay/trans/or whatever away is wrong. Period. It could be described as cruel and unusual punishment... and is barbaric. Such "therapy" should be outlawed.

I agree it doesn't work.
  •