After spending some time to get my thoughts together, I'm back and I'm making some very bold and positive moves forward. I've decided that after looking through the TRUE SELVES book, that I am going to write a letter to my current employer and I am going to start living full time as of January 1st 2006. I figure that these last two months will give them enough time to get use to the subtle changes. I wish that I had the oportunity that Stephanie had with having the entire summer off to make her change, but I guess I can't be so lucky.  I'm pretty confident that they'll keep me employed.

Tony, my husband just sent me a wonderful letter and in it he said: "I'm happy there's still lots of work and you've got good reliable installers, however, I know you're the best there is."

I'll be talking with my psychologist in full detail about this soon, and he will see things my way, even though he did turn aginst me and had declared me "delusional."

Finally I am going to be putting things into play for the better of ME, and if there are any consequenses, so be it, this time I'm ready for anything.

Gina

Welcome back Gina,


                      It sounds like you have made some well thought out decisions, I hope all goes well for you. Most often a small business owner will be pragmatic and retain his/her best employees irregardless of the private life an employee chooses, but there are exceptions. I am sure they will do the smart thing and keep their best/fastest installer.


beth

Thanks Beth for your kind words. 

I was just speaking in general with my employer today and funny (and hurtful) thing that she had said is that everyone knows about me and that she personally finds it embarassing that I want to dress as a woman. She also said that there isn't much difference between myself and my feminine side, but it's really not what the outlook is but more how I personally feel, and I feel 100% better when I'm a woman. It's an inner thing, that I'm sure that alot can relate with.

Gina

Hi Gina,

Welcome back, perhaps time will help with your employer. Remember that other people in our lives have not necessarily had as long as we have had to get used wherewe are on the continuum of sexuality.

Hope all goes well.

Shelley

Thanks Shelley,

I'm hoping that the time will help as well. Technically all I'm changing is my exterior, so I'll still be able to perform all my duties with no problem. They'll just have to address me differently. New pronouns, and so forth.

Gina

Gina,

Welcome back!  And congratulations on going full time!  Be gentle and patient with your employer, but you already know that.

Peace,

Chaunte

Hey Gina!
nice to meet you! (just realized i didn;t greet you here yet...)
Love
Alex

Thanks Chaunte for your kind words as always, but I have not yet gone full time. My expected time I have set will be January 1st, 2006. On Novmeber 9th, I'll be getting the results from my psyche testing and hopefully it should prove good, and I'll be then going to see my psychologist with the results and I'll be  talking with him about a few issues and then I'll be presenting my letter to my employer. Everything has to be done in a proper way if it's going to work well. If you check in the section of TRUE SELVES where the section on presenting your letter to your employer is, I think the best one is the one where the employee simply says that he is transgender and that the only cure for him is to live full time as a woman.

Alex, I will really enjoy getting to know you and I thank you for your encouraging words.

Gina

Hi Gina,

Good to see you are being methodical in your approach and setting goals and deadlines. That's a very positive step forward. Just remember that old saying about the best laid plans and expect the unexpected. Basically just be prepared and don't let any unexpected obstacle or reactions throw you. Be flexible in your plans and adjust as is necessary to achieve your ultimate goal. Good luck.

Good Journey,

Cassie

Thanks Cassie for your good words of advise.

I have been very methodical in my approach this time and I'm not I'm not letting anything slip by. I believe that I should have all my bases covered, so that there won't be any slip ups.    So hopefully there shouldn't be any obsticles in my way.

Halloween night was a big test fo rme and I passed with flying colors!!!
I was nicely dressed in a pink top with a black striped skirt with black pantyhose and black heels and when I was at Walgreens a lady had told me that I looked better than most woman do. I then went to a Halloween candy hand out at a local shopping mall and a lady stopped by and asked me if I was a man. I just smiled sweetly at her and kept silent. She was talking with someone on her cell phone and I heard her say that she was asking this lady if she were a guy. I really felt good. 

Gina

Well done Gina,

Takes a lot of nerve to do what you did. You should feel really good about yourself.

Shelley

Thanks Shelley. I did really feel good. I was telling a female friend about it, and she told me that they were just pacifing me. She told me that people don't ask her if she's a 'man' when they see her. After thinking about it for a moment, it made some sense to me, but everyone that stopped to compliment me had thought that I looked really good and feminine. But I guess that most people have not necessarily had as long as we have had to get used to were we are on the continum of ->-bleeped-<-, and so they'll never really understand us.

Gina

I'll be starting a new job on Thursday December 1st and I've decided that i don't want to rock the boat by transitioning to soon in my new job, so I've decided that it will have to wait. Unfortunatelly things do crop up unexpectedly.

Gina

Hey Gina,

Its December 2 here so how did it go.

Shelley

Thanks for asking Shelley. My new job as a stock person is going very well.  We get a 100' long truck in three times a week, and my primary job is looking after the compactor. Today one of the associates told me that I'm a real hard worker and that I really kept the place nice and neat, without the boxes piling up too much. I appreciated the compliment.  I may have to wait till my three month training period is finished before I'll approach them about transitioning. At least by that time I'll have a better foot in the business. Has anyone ever read Jennifer  Boylan's book "She's Not There"? There was a really good letter to her collegues in there that I may use without plajorizing.

Gina

Great to here, I think if I was in your position I would wait until the training period was over too.

Shelley

Hi Shelley.

Unfortunately I felt that there was too much pressure and stress with the job and so I had to quite. So I'm returning back to my other job. Due to my mental problems, My brain felt very flustered with so much going on and I may be suffering from anxiety attacks. I work best when I'm alone. I get too flustered when too many people are around.

Gina

Sorry to hear that Gina,

Hope things work out ok. If your most comfortable working in your own company then that is the way to go. Good luck girl.

Shelley

QuoteI'll be starting a new job on Thursday December 1st and I've decided that i don't want to rock the boat by transitioning to soon in my new job

She did mention it Melissa and was planning it. It just didn't work out in time.

I think your right though about making it harder as your paperwork would be in your male personal but at least you wouldn't have to broach the subject of transitioning down the track.

Shelley

Just curious, how do you handle the taxation thing. I think you call it your social security number. Won't that give you away?

Shelley