My name is Rowan, which isn't a very girl name, right?  But I would like to change it to something with a 'B'...  Like Benen, which means 'kind and benevolent' in Irish Gaelic...  or something...  Anyway, my mom has recently come around and I have been able to openly talk to her about my issues and thoughts.  My mom says that Rowan suits me perfectly, and that "changing your name costs like four hundred bucks".  But I don't really know what I want.
   All I do know is that I need to change my middle name from Ivy to something like Andrew or Issac or...  I don't know someone throw me a bone for ideas!

Check into the cost of changing your name yourself...your mom just may have heard through the "grapevine" how much it costs, unless she's actually looked into it, she probably doesn't know. Where I live, it's $120, whether you change one of the names, or all of them.

Take your time with your name, be sure it's what you want and you want to keep it...fwiw, I like Benen. You may want to be careful with the middle name, though...you don't want people to mis-hear the name as (for example) "Ben in Doug" or somesuch. Really check any name combination for sound, rhythm, initial combinations, etc. Just like naming a child.

Order a coffee and give them Benen as your name. You may be surprised how much different it is in real life than on a screen. Though whether that different is better or worse is entirely unpredictable.

I think Rowan is a suitable name for a male, it's seems pretty unisex to me.

I agree with Soren, try it out a few times and see how you like the sound of Benen. 

Call your county courthouse and ask.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 19, 2013, 07:03:45 PM
Check into the cost of changing your name yourself...your mom just may have heard through the "grapevine" how much it costs, unless she's actually looked into it, she probably doesn't know. Where I live, it's $120, whether you change one of the names, or all of them.

Take your time with your name, be sure it's what you want and you want to keep it...fwiw, I like Benen. You may want to be careful with the middle name, though...you don't want people to mis-hear the name as (for example) "Ben in Doug" or somesuch. Really check any name combination for sound, rhythm, initial combinations, etc. Just like naming a child.

I totally get what you're saying about people mishearing me.  I think it would be ironic if people though I was saying I was in another dude: I'm gay! 
I also think that you have a great point about rhythm and and sound.  I'kk keep that in mind!   

Quote from: Soren on July 19, 2013, 09:07:46 PM
Order a coffee and give them Benen as your name. You may be surprised how much different it is in real life than on a screen. Though whether that different is better or worse is entirely unpredictable.

That is a great idea!  I'm definitely going to try that.  Thank you so much

You could always put an "a" on the end and call yourself Rowana?

The $400 doesn't sound totally out of line. It is the newspaper which costs the most.

Have you heard of the famous actor Rowan Atkinson? Or Rowan Williams, the recently retired Archbishop of Canterbury?

Names that are clearly female typically end in an audible vowel, so you're lucky that your name doesn't follow that pattern. That's why it's considered a unisex name.

I think that the answer to whether you should change your name or not comes down to whether you can tolerate living with your current name for the rest of your life. Many TSs change their names as way of breaking away from their old identities. Speaking for myself, I am content with not changing my name. But then again, my name has always sounded female, so maybe it's not a fair comparison, LOL.

I've actually only ever encountered Rowan used as a male name. If I'm not mistaken, it's been a very popular baby boy name in recent years. That being said, I don't see that cost should be a deterrent. The larger question is "Do you anticipate that keeping your pre-transition name will impede or delay acceptance of your new social role?"

Re: middle name, perhaps you should consider Sage so that you can stay within the vegetable kingdom (I'm serious, btw).

Maddy

Quote from: Soren on July 19, 2013, 09:07:46 PM
Order a coffee and give them Benen as your name. You may be surprised how much different it is in real life than on a screen. Though whether that different is better or worse is entirely unpredictable.

It's a REALLY good idea and actually I did this. But you can't give up after one time. It won't sound ok once, you need to do this repeated times. If you have willing friends you can ask them to try this too, and see what you think. You can explain the whole thing "I want to see how this new name sounds to me, can you call me this for a while". I go to a trans group and they encouraged us to try names out. I know a few people that have changed their names more than once. I actually went by my initials for awhile before I got a name.


--Jay

Quote from: Benen on July 19, 2013, 06:51:14 PM
My name is Rowan, which isn't a very girl name, right?

It totally is a boys name. That said, you might still want to change it because for people knowing you it totally is a girls name.

Quote from: Benen on July 19, 2013, 06:51:14 PM
But I would like to change it to something with a 'B'...  Like Benen, which means 'kind and benevolent' in Irish Gaelic...  or something...

I like the way you think. That said, I wouldn't do that myself. I like common names more, because I hope that they will make it easier to blend in.

Quote from: Benen on July 19, 2013, 06:51:14 PM
All I do know is that I need to change my middle name from Ivy to something like Andrew or Issac or...

I like Andrew. I would stay away from Isaac, since many people will think of Isaac Newton upon hearing the name.

I'd say you're a Christian or Peter judging from how you look.