For my brothers and sisters here that cannot transition for whatever reason, what are some of the positives you have found in living as your birth sex?  I know it can be hard to find positives but maybe it would help if we could talk about it?

Here are a couple of mine:

-Won't get easily get refused healthcare if I have to go to the hospital

-If people "misgender" me, then it's actually a compliment

What are yours?

Hmm.... I have my own personal set of nice boobs.....

Oh, I don't feel like an idiot when I need to ask the guys at Autozone to put the windshield wipers on my car for me or DMD (a big manly but super nice cis-male) at work to help me open the hood of my car when it got stuck this winter and I badly needed to add windshield washer fluid, when if I was transitioned into male I would feel like an idiot.

I can safely live at home with my family while I am currently too poor to live on my own.

I can find female clothes my size where I can't really find well-fitting male clothes my size.

Quote from: Albina on March 15, 2013, 08:36:00 PM
Good points, LearnedHand!

Indeed, especially about the part about living with family.  I went shopping for some male dress clothes and trying to find one just my size was  pain.

Up until this year I would have said cheaper car insurance, but they've brought them into line now so that doesn't count.

I almost applied for an apprenticeship which had a female bias, but had a very, very, early mid-life crisis and didn't.

Another benefit is I can get a discount on my oil change if I go during "ladies's day" (which I think is every Wednesday).

Quote from: AlexanderC on March 15, 2013, 09:57:44 PM
Up until this year I would have said cheaper car insurance

Yes, I forgot about that one, over here it's still cheaper for girls.

Quote from: LearnedHand on March 16, 2013, 06:52:49 AM
Another benefit is I can get a discount on my oil change if I go during "ladies's day" (which I think is every Wednesday).

Yes, I forgot about that one, over here it's still cheaper for girls.

Excuse me, but I see only the positives to be a lady in your country lol (as opposed to my country, I should add).

Having spent most of my time trying to find ways to deal with the nonsense, this is an interesting perspective.

I suppose not being continually hassled by guys. I used to work in building and many only ever saw a female when they came to work, or that's how they behaved anyway.

Cheaper clothes since most male clothes are generally cheaper.

A bit off topic, but to LearnedHand. Interested in your sub text. How well has your transition been accepted by the Sikh community. I know they have an established division, but be interested to hear how it is working out.

Quote from: spacial on March 16, 2013, 11:18:55 AM
A bit off topic, but to LearnedHand. Interested in your sub text. How well has your transition been accepted by the Sikh community. I know they have an established division, but be interested to hear how it is working out.

I am not a Baptisted Sikh or really out since I haven't started transition yet, but I've been to Gurdwara in male clothing and sat on the male side of the room. It really depends on where you go, because some people really focus on the whole equality aspect of the Sikh faith while in other temples the Punjabi cultures seeps through. There's a lot of good articles on www.sarbat.net (a British based LGBT Sikh website) and some 3HO Sikhs did a really nice video on YouTube that basically says "we don't care if you're LGBT, everyone's equal". I think I posted the video over on the spirituality section of the board (here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,136458.0.html).

-My insurance is quite a lot cheaper as a "female".
-I'm unlikely to ever have prostate problems.
-Seducing dudes is easier when you can hypnotize them with boobies.

Both a blessing and a curse, I have a nice and perky chest. I actually think I'd miss them when getting top surgery when I'm not feeling over the top dysphoric.

Some people see my relationship as heterosexual if they see me as female which can be less dangerous for us.

Other than that, no real benefits. I'm treated with misogyny like a female would be, seen as "not a real man".

For me, my children!

If I had transitioned in my 20's I would not have them, and that would be very upsetting to me. I love kids, got 5 and the wife want's another one!

I do regret not letting the real me out sooner, anywho here I come, look out world!

Quote from: LearnedHand on March 16, 2013, 12:51:10 PM
that basically says "we don't care if you're LGBT, everyone's equal".

Now that's the sort of attitude I'd have expected from the Sikh. From observation they seemed to accept gender differences as a matter of practicalities, rather than dogma. I haven't ever managed to discuss with any Sikh any of the specifics regarding gender or sexuality varients. And what I know is quite limited. But the only significant problem I had, dealing with Sikhs was with some women, especially young women, who didn't seem too sure of why I wasn't acting in what they presumably thought is a standard male role.

I will look at that site though. Always interested in more informaiton. Especially relating to certain aspects of dogma.

Thanks again.

- I guess for me it's the fact that I can keep who I really am to myself with whoever I want to and for as long as i don't transition. It buys me time before I feel I have to tell my parents and my kids, so I don't have to lose anyone (which I might once I do come out to them).
- It's easier on my wife,who identifies as a lesbian
- I can get into clubs for free on Ladies night even if I present as a guy since my ID shows a woman.


All of these are pretty positive for me but they don't help my dysphoria nor stop the constant thoughts about transition.

Well I never had big family drama with "coming out".

I dress and look how I want anyway.

I have a few close friends that know about that part of me, but 98% of the people I interact with don't. The fact that they don't doesn't really bother me that much.

I got married, legally.

Being "female" doesn't really come up too much in daily life ... so I pretty much just live the way I want to and am able to just be myself.

I never really noticed benefits like guys wanting to do stuff for you (I never looked very feminine, that might have something to do with it), because I always just do that sort of stuff myself ... do minor car stuff, do fix it stuff around the house, carry heavy things, etc.

Feeling a little down so I'm trying to find more positives:

1. I never have to worry about getting "clocked" and if I wear male clothes, people at most will think I'm just a butch lesbian.

2.  I can go in the women's bathroom and sit on the toilet without worrying about the noise the toilet makes when it hits the toilet or if others are wondering why my feet are pointed towards the door.  I also can use the bathroom and exit and not have to deal with an STP device.

3. Guys will hold the door open for me.  Now I DO find that demeaning and I'd rather not have them do that, but being a germaphobe, at least I won't have to touch those nasty doors.

4. If I ever wanted to go clubbing, I could take advantage of "free ladie's night" or the other special perks of getting in that the women would have.

5. I could get top surgery and still live as a female with just a mastectomy.  That way I could somewhat "be" in transition without many of the associated risks.

For the people born (and staying guys) out there here are just a few quick ones off the top of my head -

Not having to spend time doing makeup every fricken' day
Feeling slightly more secure when walking alone
A boat load of $$$ that you save from transitioning expenses (this goes for would have been ftms as well)
Not having to deal with the flirty stuff from hetero (and depending on your situation trans-loving) guys when you are not attracted men!!!!  :-)

More positives:

1. I don't have to worry about pain from getting kicked down there like bio-males and post-bottom surgery guys do.

2. There's not so much competition to do things that I know little about (like cars. . . and stuff. . . ) among girls.

Quote from: retransition on September 13, 2013, 08:12:35 PM
For the people born (and staying guys) out there here are just a few quick ones off the top of my head -

Not having to spend time doing makeup every fricken' day
Feeling slightly more secure when walking alone
A boat load of $$$ that you save from transitioning expenses (this goes for would have been ftms as well)
Not having to deal with the flirty stuff from hetero (and depending on your situation trans-loving) guys when you are not attracted men!!!!  :-)

+1 Having opted out of full transition I can say ditto to what retransition has said.
I don't have a need for an extensive female wardrobe, shoes and accessories.
As an androgynous person I can live on either side of the gender fence.
Around males I can still be viewed as a male when it's time to be male and do male things.
Around women I am appreciated for being able to converse well. think with the female side of my brain, considered emotionally available, relate well, listen with my heart and empathize with women's issues.
I can still pee standing up in the woods on a hunt, rather than freeze my tush off.
I can sit to pee at home like a female which I prefer as much neater.
I'm still married to a loving wife who makes allowances for my androgyny, SRS would have been the death nell I opted out by choice!

I forgot one of my favorites of all

Not having to wear an f***ing bra!!!!!!

(the key word being "having" - I know some guys here might enjoy wearing them at times but when it is every day -all day at work it really sucks.)


***** EDIT*******
I just realized I said "guys" here.  I am sorry I have been out of the loop and need to get back up to speed- I was confusing non transitioning mtf women living as men with people like me who identify as male.  I know there is an important distinction.  Anyway - I still hate bras.

Quote from: retransition on September 13, 2013, 10:48:52 PM
I forgot one of my favorites of all

Not having to wear an f***ing bra!!!!!!

(the key word being "having" - I know some guys here might enjoy wearing them at times but when it is every day -all day at work it really sucks.)

especially when the straps keep slipping off your shoulders, ugh drives me nuts.