Caleb is doing his brother's Math homework. He could be working on his own Thesis for his Masters degree but no.  I'm disappointed in his lack of Ethics.

As I said in a text to Keaira, there's nothing more bitter than the disappointment of the woman you love. -_-

Hasn't changed how I feel about you dear. *huggles*

Waking up from a bad dream and then wrestling with the insomnia monster

Dad telling me Mum was buying him a steak and kidney pie for his tea.I couldn't bring myself to tell him she died in April

Quote from: big kim on July 23, 2013, 10:20:16 AM
Dad telling me Mum was buying him a steak and kidney pie for his tea.I couldn't bring myself to tell him she died in April

Dealing with aging parents is painful....hugs!

Thanks Shantel

I wish i had some real stuff in my room, not the stupid prescription stuff. I want more, but I barely notice anything from this. I wish i had something to really take me away. I don't care about addiction. I just want to get wasted. I can't cope with my weird mind constantly changing in how it feels, This is what really makes me feel trapped, like a door that gets locked and unlocked.

Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 23, 2013, 07:09:25 PM
You should care about addiction. Even if you don't get addicted, you just end up looking back on it and thinking to yourself, "Damn, I should have found another way to deal with this."

Trust me, been there and done that.

i just want peace of mind. I don't care if i ruin myself. I am probably not going to survive this year. I just know it. I'll probably have killed myself in a few months.

Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 23, 2013, 07:17:53 PM
I don't want to sound like a broken record and I certainly don't want to sound like I am bitching at you. I knew a woman that used all kinds of pills to numb her mind because she couldn't cope with life issues (none of which were trans related) and she has destroyed her body completely.

I also knew a woman that used alcohol as a crutch for decades and died of liver failure (I also had an uncle that went the same way). It was horrible, it was ugly, it was depressing as hell because they were both wonderful people that let their crutch take them out.

Don't end up like them.

my father is an alcoholic.

But, anyway, i know i will probably be dead in a few months, despite being 98% drug-free.

My decision not to go to the skating rink with the church.  Because I didn't I had the lovely pleasure of helping cleaning the inside and the outside of my mother's car....

My lack of online sales

Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 23, 2013, 07:37:12 PM
So is mine.

And you better not be dead in a few months. You need to do something to help dig yourself out of this hole that you are in. It can be done so you CAN do it.

So do it!

Do what?

I am getting help by the end of the holidays. If i am still alive then of course.

Getting an insect bite

I need more and i need something that works. I can't stand being in this state. I don't want to think clearly.

having a dry cough

Guess my family aren't as supportive as I thought wrong pro-nouns(mum's not even trying) added to the misery I was already in yet wasn't sure why. Seriously hating everything right now.

Easier said then done but, don't dwell on the hate, dwell on the future positives.

Stressing out over finances. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Quote from: Liam Erik on July 24, 2013, 03:47:34 PM
I got a letter for jury duty, and my name isn't changed yet.  The reason my name isn't changed yet is because I am anxious about the public exposure required just to go to, oh, say, the courthouse, to get it changed.  I am too anxious to talk to my own relatives or go to the grocery store.  My legal name is irredeemably awful.  I don't pass for female whatsoever.  I am going to be humiliated, yet again.  I am sick about it.

If it makes you feel any better I got one too in my other name. One consolation is that they usually send me home as undesirable as a jury pick, because I'm not into group-think. If they ask, "Do you think the police lie?" I say certainly. "Do you believe in capitol punishment?" I say yup! They say, "You're dismissed, thank you for coming!" 

Went shoe shopping. Everything I liked didn't come in my size. The few items they did have in my size I didn't really like. I ended up shopping in the men's section but didn't find anything that looked unisex enough for me to want to put it on my feet.

Then I broke my finger pulling a shoe box out from under a pile.