I know lately my posts on here have been doom and gloom as I work up to telling my wife in a few weeks that I'm trans. But I also wanted to share something: It's not all bad news! While I wouldn't say I've exactly done a whole lot toward transitioning, I will say that for me, my therapist at K-state's Family Center has been nothing but helpful.

She hasn't made me feel pressured at all one way or the other, though I did tell her I had no doubts from the start, so my therapy has gradually moved from "Are you trans?" to "What do you need in order to be comfortable enough in your life to actually do this?" Every meeting, by the time I leave I feel a little better about myself and being who and what I am. She even refers to me by my name!

There's a lot to think about with transition, and I'm happy that we discuss a little bit at a time. I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to approach transition is a little bit at a time. We started out trying to get me to fully appreciate that I don't have a mental issue because I'm trans (While I understood this logically, I honestly still felt I was crazy when I started therapy, making it hard to wrap my mind around).

Another thing it has helped me with is that I've figured out that a lot of my feelings and insecurities are normal for someone going through this. Its one thing to be told that by people on a forum or to read it in a paper, but its strangely helpful to hear that from a professional. While this doesn't make those feelings go away, it is re-assuring to know that . . . well, it's to be expected.

It's very helpful to have someone who understand to talk to in person about how dysphoria makes me feel, even if at the moment I'm in a situation that I can't really do much about it.

I also realized that the two things I need to do to start really working on transitioning are to tell my wife, and to move at least to a larger town.

Telling my wife, while difficult and frightening, would allow me to start doing minor things behind closed doors like shave my legs and such (which would be absolutely great if it turns out my wife is ok with it because I'd even have someone to get advice from).

Once I feel I'm comfortable with the things done at that step, the next step I feel would be to start actual transition and HRT. And for that, I would need to move.

At our next secession I'll be bringing my letter (as last time I went to print it and didn't realize I was out of ink ...) so we can discuss that, and I plan to ask questions about what people mean when they talk about giving up male privilege and what female privilege is (...I suspect that even when I have a very good idea in my mind, I won't fully appreciate it until I've transitioned and actually face it).

Anyway I just wanted to say: If there's anyone lurking around who is doubting if therapy will help you, my advice is it will. It's just over all helped me to improve my feelings about myself, and is helping me to approach a hugely complex issue one step at a time.