I used to have a hands-free Whopper holder. But we broke up.
I don't like Whoppers. I prefer Subway. But alas, burger was indeed king.
For a long time I said nothing. Smiling, eating with a barely noticeable shudder as she held meat-based monstrosity to my lips.
But in the end, I could endure no more.
We talked into the wee small hours, one cold January night. But no compromise could be reached.
It was a Sandwich Schism.
Things went downhill from there.
And in the end... it was very messy.
She left without saying a word, one morning. A solitary pickle left on the counter. A symbol of the final impasse we had reached.
A fast feud.
...
Sorry, I'm in an odd mood.
