I've been lurking here for quite awhile. I've always known that I'm a female inside, but have been fighting myself over it. And I fight hard! I guess really the hardest part for me is that I like girls. I've always hated men. I never wanted to be one, I really have a hard time even being in the same room as them. And yet, the world generally perceives my femininity as being some gay dude. I'm not entirely sure where to go with this, I really just want a girlfriend that considers me to be a female and still loves me and is attracted to me physically. I guess the biggest fear is that I will be alone after I transition, though I'm alone now, and most definitely will be forever if I keep pretending to be a guy.