it's an annual 'family' [mine] tradition: go over to Mom's house, get together and launch fireworks.

but no invitation this year, though.

i cannot afford to dwell upon this because if i do, i will dissociate hard, like i did last night.

I wouldn't dwell on it either if I were you.

Do you have people that you can hang out with now and then?  Just curious.

Quote from: RebeccaFog on July 03, 2007, 05:14:36 PM
I wouldn't dwell on it either if I were you.

Do you have people that you can hang out with now and then?  Just curious.

no, that's one aspect of my life which has changed for the better [greater ease in socializing] and i am indeed expecting this isolation to be consigned to the past as well, in the not so distant future, but....

But no, I will be totally alone this year.

Quote from: Kiera on July 03, 2007, 05:19:32 PM

Quote from: Rhonda on July 03, 2007, 05:13:01 PMbut no invitation this year, though.

Since when do you need an "invitation"? Crash the party . . . 

If it makes you feel any better let it be known that, with SO and kids out of town today, I will definitely be in bed tomorrow night.  The only "holiday" I get worked up over these days really is Christmas.

[gently]

let me restate that in more accurate terms: I have been selectively and intentionally excluded.

I am not going to let this nonsense get to me and if I know Mom, her desire to placate my brothers and their wives in not "being made uncomfortable by me" and consciously excluding me toward that end, it will eat at her like an aggressive and virulent cancer.

Mom will suffer far more than I will, not that I in any wish for such.

Quote from: Kiera on July 03, 2007, 06:53:48 PM

Quote from: Rhonda on July 03, 2007, 05:25:45 PM
[gently]
if I know Mom . . .

Ahhh!!! Call her, tell her to 'ell with the "crew" this year, and insist she spend it with you instead?

I get the impression you and mom are at least OK? Saw my little sister for the first time in about 3 years, thought she'd flip upon seeing my long hair (I keep it tied back tightly around my face in drab) but all she could muster was "you look great" . . . which is true I think (while her daughter, my beautiful niece, proceeded unbeknownst to me to collect my best underwear! lol) (see footnote <a href="https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,15473.msg118663.html#msg118663">here</a>)

I can imagine it wouldn't be too big of a leap for her to figure out who indeed it belongs to and that's assuming my kids haven't told her already as they usually tell everybody . . . 

On "playstation2" the other day my seven year old actually said for the 1'st time "daddy, switch controllers, your the girl (in multiplay), not me". It's the way both my kids say it so matter of factly now that completely throws me. Funny how so-called "adults" can be so friggin hung up on things . . .

Keep Chin Up, Love 

You are unquestionably a sweetheart. 

No, I think that I will spend the day devoted to feeding the mind, or getting femme'ed up in casual mode and....just take a day-trip by myself, as I really am.

That has a definite appeal to it and it will be good for me, transitionally. 

yeah... so see the fireworks someplace!  Who knows, you might strike up a conversation with someone who is exceedingly interesting.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on July 03, 2007, 07:59:25 PM
yeah... so see the fireworks someplace!  Who knows, you might strike up a conversation with someone who is exceedingly interesting.

Cindi

You know girl, that's a great idea.  I really need to start to become living and being out in my true form.

Noted. 

Yeah, Rhonda,

  You got the power, now it's time to start living with it. Do some things and make some memories for Rhonda!

Quote from: RebeccaFog on July 03, 2007, 09:18:44 PM
Yeah, Rhonda,

  You got the power, now it's time to start living with it. Do some things and make some memories for Rhonda!

[solemnly]

It's time to LIVE honey. After so much agony over so many...........yearsssssss.......

[shaking her head] No, no, no no, no, no.......

No hon, after all of those years, things are going to change, now. 

Time for Rhonda to socialize.  Go out and do something.  Be amongst people.

Call your mom and tell her not to beat herself up for being made to choose.  Give her permission to keep the peace in the fashion she did.  Just tell her you still want to see her once in a while (and get whatever comfort food that she makes that you love  )

If you know any other trans people in the area, call them up and ask if you can come over -- I bet you'll get an on-the-spot invite.  Go.  Relax.  Enjoy the mood and the company.  No pressures.  No worries.

Being around people is great medicine.

Karen

Quote from: Karen on July 03, 2007, 10:24:54 PM
Time for Rhonda to socialize.  Go out and do something.  Be amongst people.

Call your mom and tell her not to beat herself up for being made to choose.  Give her permission to keep the peace in the fashion she did.  Just tell her you still want to see her once in a while (and get whatever comfort food that she makes that you love  )

If you know any other trans people in the area, call them up and ask if you can come over -- I bet you'll get an on-the-spot invite.  Go.  Relax.  Enjoy the mood and the company.  No pressures.  No worries.

Being around people is great medicine.

Karen

I concur. Heartily, in fact.

I have no desire to afflict Mom with more stress, neither do I wish to force the matter upon her.

She will, seemingly inevitably, have to make certain choices and decisions, for her conscience will assail her mercilessly.

But that inevitability needs no facilitation from me and it would actually be cruel of me, to force it.


But as for my brothers....don't get me started, sis.

 Rhonda girl,  You have a family that loves you just because your you.  That family is here.  Heck Girl,  Come on out to California, you can watch the fireworks from the mountain top at my place.  Best view anywhere. 

OK everybody here, is invited to my place to watch the fireworks from San Francisco to Santa Rosa from my back yard.

Yes getting out and meeting new people helps.  I now have three friends, one old and two new who are just the best friends a girl could meet.  So get out and be seen. 

Have a happy 4th

Beni

Quote from: Beni on July 03, 2007, 10:53:47 PM
Rhonda girl,  You have a family that loves you just because your you.  That family is here.  Heck Girl,  Come on out to California, you can watch the fireworks from the mountain top at my place.  Best view anywhere. 

OK everybody here, is invited to my place to watch the fireworks from San Francisco to Santa Rosa from my back yard.

Yes getting out and meeting new people helps.  I now have three friends, one old and two new who are just the best friends a girl could meet.  So get out and be seen. 

Have a happy 4th

Beni

[solemnly, pondering...]

You're right.

You're right and I am not the only one to whom that your statement applies to.

[nodding her head, thoughtful]

Indeed.

Thinking of you Rhonda,


Big Hug and a kiss


Nigella

Quote from: Nigella on July 04, 2007, 07:00:27 AM
Thinking of you Rhonda,


Big Hug and a kiss


Nigella

[with something of a wistful smile upon her visage...]

And I would reciprocate, hon.