Quote from: Emily Elizabeth on June 10, 2013, 08:51:02 PM
I'm curious about how she came to that conclusion. Were you flip-flopping during the session or trying to side-step any trans issues? Also, it didn't sound like she was stating fact based on your original post. It sounded more like a strong opinion. Maybe it's what you needed to hear, not to force you into a transition, but to make you at least think things through more? I'm not really trying to defend her stance. I'm just trying to understand because I would think those types of responses would be career threatening, so I'm wondering if you misread her intentions.

I felt like my therapist stone-walled me the first visit and I stopped going. Almost a decade later, I was looking for a therapist and actually called her because of it. It was exactly the type of response that I needed because I was dead set on a transition ASAP and I really needed that in your face "Are you sure" response.

Emily-

You know you might be right; i had the same thought later on about it. If she was trying to get my attention she succeeded; I was honestly so stunned by what i heard her saying that i think i missed some of it. I went in thinking no way and left thinking hmmmm maybe?

I was brutally honest with her and didn't try to side-step anything; i knew that going in and trying to play "fool the therapist" was not going to help me much. I don't think that I was flip flopping during the session but i could have been subtly swaying back and forth to some degree; thats my usual state when i'm not in a full blown gender flip to one side or the other.

I took it as a strong opinion, based on her experience with other people similar to me. I WILL be sure to ask her on the next appointment to clarify for all of us.

I forgot about this thread, so i'll post an update.

I did ask her about what she said and what she said was that looking forward it was a possibility that i "may" get to the point of suicide if I don't address the situation - she did not say that i "would" get to that point. Fair enough - I asked a direct question and she gave a direct answer. I was so wigged out by things that she had told me earlier in the conversation that I clearly missed the "may" part. I was overwhelmed.

She is convinced that i'm a transsexual after reviewing everything, and i have to admit that she's probably correct. I have been turning this over and over in my mind for the past two weeks and it's clear to me that i'm in major denial right now. Hey, maybe if i keep denying it it will go away, right? LOL.... My next appointment on Saturday is going to be interesting because i'm going in with an open mind this time.

I have no idea of where i'm going from this point, but i'd guess that i'll be spending a lot more time here with you fine girls and guys.

~Eva

I've been there, my friend. My reading of your therapist's reaction is similar to yours. A little presumptuous to predict suicidal eventualities, but she has you thinking about the right things.

I had a similar experience. It wasn't a therapist, it was the MtF members of my support group who were convinced I was one of them. They turned out to be right despite how much I didn't want them to be.

Despite the resulting problems since then, genuine living has been more than worth it.

Quote from: riven1 on July 25, 2013, 09:22:39 PM
I have no idea of where i'm going from this point, but i'd guess that i'll be spending a lot more time here with you fine girls and guys.

I'm here, Eva. Always willing to listen.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 25, 2013, 09:36:00 PM
I've been there, my friend. My reading of your therapist's reaction is similar to yours. A little presumptuous to predict suicidal eventualities, but she has you thinking about the right things.

I had a similar experience. It wasn't a therapist, it was the MtF members of my support group who were convinced I was one of them. They turned out to be right despite how much I didn't want them to be.

Despite the resulting problems since then, genuine living has been more than worth it.

I'm here, Eva. Always willing to listen.

Thanks Suzi; I know that i'll need my friends going thru this and you're one of them 

Quote from: riven1 on July 25, 2013, 09:22:39 PM
I forgot about this thread, so i'll post an update.

I did ask her about what she said and what she said was that looking forward it was a possibility that i "may" get to the point of suicide if I don't address the situation - she did not say that i "would" get to that point. Fair enough - I asked a direct question and she gave a direct answer. I was so wigged out by things that she had told me earlier in the conversation that I clearly missed the "may" part. I was overwhelmed.

She is convinced that i'm a transsexual after reviewing everything, and i have to admit that she's probably correct. I have been turning this over and over in my mind for the past two weeks and it's clear to me that i'm in major denial right now. Hey, maybe if i keep denying it it will go away, right? LOL.... My next appointment on Saturday is going to be interesting because i'm going in with an open mind this time.

I have no idea of where i'm going from this point, but i'd guess that i'll be spending a lot more time here with you fine girls and guys.

~Eva

We all do that at some point. The "I'll wake up and be 'normal' wish is pretty strong.

If I can say one thing from my journey is that I also denied stuff for a very long time. I also could only see the impossibility of my situation when the transition word was ever brought up. The sheer horror and fear that I may 'have' to present as a female person in the daily world was too much.

It was impossible.

Funny once I accepted that I was me and that me, Cindy, was my core identity it all fell into place. I was on a train track that I just had to follow. It was as if when I accepted that I am Cindy, then no one else's opinion was relevant anymore.

I had to be me, and the barriers and fears just dissipated. I no longer cared what others thought.

I was reminded of it today. I was at a forward planning meeting for the company I work for. It was a high powered meeting CEO, deputy etc were there. I had to present to them..

I wore a dress that was midthigh and knee-high boots with about 2 inch heels. I looked hot (I thought) but professional as well.

I have a male voice and everyone in the room knows I used to present as a guy.

There were no s->-bleeped-<-s, there were no laughs, there were no ignoring or looking down at me.

At coffee and at lunch people sought me out to talk to me with respect and interest in my opinion.

I reflected that I thought just 12 months ago that this scenario was impossible. I also realised that I'm given more respect from my colleagues than 'he' was ever given.

I am not trivialising this journey; it is tough and it takes its toll.

But it can be done.

One thing that has helped me enormously are my sisters and brothers here. We are a family, and we are family for you in your journey.

Hugs and have a safe trip

Oh, and do remember to 'smell the flowers' along the way

Cindy

Cindy, that is an inspiring story. Thank you!

i have also come to the same realizations that Cindy did 

It all makes sense. I cannot stop moving towards transition. Some get there quickly. Others take a slower journey, like me, but I cannot stop the movement. For me, suicide has never entered my mind. Life is already too short too precious.