Hello everyone,
Just wanted to put an intro up.
I'm here to meet new people, get some different perspectives on things, share my own experiences, etc. Looking for some cool people basically.
I've been experiencing transgender feelings and all for maybe 20 years or more. Early memories are a blur these days. Bad memory lately, ya know?
About 10 years ago or so, rather than just going with the flow with it, as was the usual to an extent, circumstances and some info I came across led me to consider these things directly. A lot of question marks, so I saw myself as feeling like both genders. Feels kinda true to this day. So I just danced around the middle line somewhat as far as behavior and presenting myself. I first found this forum during that time. Never got involved too deeply in the trans community though.
Anyways, life happens between then and now, and pretty recently the feminine has come out pretty strong, knocking me off balance. So, once again I look into this subject online, find some interesting things, find this forum again, and some new considerations.
Still have many question marks that I'm sure many of you have gone through: What is the nature and origin of these feelings? Is one way of feeling/acting/presenting artificial and the other legit? Both legit? What's the true identity? Etc.
I don't think I'm androgynous internally, these two feelings seem kinda polarized at times, so it causes that tension inside sometimes. Bigender is a term I ran across lately. Maybe there's something there. I find some relief or familiarity when I see non-op MTFs, so perhaps there's something there also. In many ways I've always leaned towards more feminine ways in some areas, but I see masculine elements elsewhere also. I don't know completely yet. I get the impression there are no easy answers, and the whole thing is a journey.
I don't see a subforum that I feel completely describes me; rather I feel like I can relate to several of them, so you all might see me active on several boards here. Hopefully it's not a taboo here to be floating around like that.
Looking forward to talking to you all.