I am a mtf transsexual (also a lesbian) who is currently "out of the closet" to the majority of my family. I am pretty far in my transition, considering that I am almost fourteen months on hrt. Two years ago I came out to my mother, which resulted in her telling about every person in our immediate family with the exception of my uncle and grandfather. I have only personally came out to three people in my family, two being in person. Since I will be going full time very soon, I figured that I better get moving on this, and make sure that nobody will be surprised when I come home for the holidays as a female for the first time. Both my uncle and grandfather are homophobic/transphobic and have not personally known any lgbtq people. To my knowledge, neither are religious, but my grandfather may be. I have considered different approaches to coming out, such as something a bit distant like a letter, or just telling them face to face. Both of these seem to have their pros and cons. A letter would allow me to fully explain myself without fear of losing my train of thought or having an anxiety attack, while telling them face to face would most likely be taken more seriously. Has anyone had experience to coming out in a letter vs. face to face? Any help is appreciated

Why not write a letter out, then confront them while reading what you have written? If things go sour, just walk away.

Quote from: BaileyC on July 27, 2013, 05:32:51 AM
I am a mtf transsexual (also a lesbian) who is currently "out of the closet" to the majority of my family. I am pretty far in my transition, considering that I am almost fourteen months on hrt. Two years ago I came out to my mother, which resulted in her telling about every person in our immediate family with the exception of my uncle and grandfather. I have only personally came out to three people in my family, two being in person. Since I will be going full time very soon, I figured that I better get moving on this, and make sure that nobody will be surprised when I come home for the holidays as a female for the first time. Both my uncle and grandfather are homophobic/transphobic and have not personally known any lgbtq people. To my knowledge, neither are religious, but my grandfather may be. I have considered different approaches to coming out, such as something a bit distant like a letter, or just telling them face to face. Both of these seem to have their pros and cons. A letter would allow me to fully explain myself without fear of losing my train of thought or having an anxiety attack, while telling them face to face would most likely be taken more seriously. Has anyone had experience to coming out in a letter vs. face to face? Any help is appreciated

I guess things have changed over the years (must have sleeped through the change) But back when i went full time as suggested by my gender theropist to use the Friends and Family letter when i went full time. She told me not to put the cart before the horse and tell anyone other then my spouse until such day as i go full time being once you let the Genie out of the bottle you can never put it back. The reason my theropist said not to do it in person was it allowed others the chance to come to there own terms with things if possible and be the one to make first contact back. I know thats what many did back in the day. It worked well for me being i was never in the mood to argue or try to make others understand. I never cared what others thought of me. Its personal.