A little girl, a giddy teenager, grown woman, wife, partner, and mother.  The way I see it they don't have signals to show a special group signaling gender.  Wouldn't having a transgender signal also show I don't really desire to fully blend with the gender group of my dreams? 

I'm probably too old to annouce anything more, so I'll just be myself.  (Pass or not.)  It'd be wonderful if someone wants to walk up to me and say they're trans, they noticed me, and want to talk for a while.  In a instant I'd sit down and have coffee with them.  Never expect others to feel this way.

K

"Hi my name is Christine and I'm a dinklehead." 

I did that even before I knew I was trans. I would people watch and pick up in behaviors, style of dress, fitness, the way they walked, and they way they talked. I'd even check out their teeth, toes and fingers. And people sometimes wonder why I am so self conscious... 

Now that I am trans it has only intensified and shifted to how can I mimic one way or the other. One hand I don't want to be outed without may permission... Ever. On the other I do want to meet more transgender people. Somehow I am happier and more relaxed with them. How to explain.... do you know that odd feeling when you first meet someone and its a little awkward and it takes a good bit of time to get get comfortable and really start talking? So yeah with other transgenders I feel at ease much more quickly. So much that I worry about stepping on social politeness and coming off as a know it all who should mind her own business.

I guess that last bit makes me a double dinklehead. 

Quote from: kathyk on July 28, 2013, 08:04:19 AM
A little girl, a giddy teenager, grown woman, wife, partner, and mother.  The way I see it they don't have signals to show a special group signaling gender.  Wouldn't having a transgender signal also show I don't really desire to fully blend with the gender group of my dreams? 

I'm probably too old to annouce anything more, so I'll just be myself.  (Pass or not.)  It'd be wonderful if someone wants to walk up to me and say they're trans, they noticed me, and want to talk for a while.  In a instant I'd sit down and have coffee with them.  Never expect others to feel this way.

K

I know people who are out activists and they actually wear t-shirts they have symbols there are trans symbols I am pretty sure you know what it is it is the female one the male one interlaced with  an arrow one all three the arrow one points in the upper right as you look at it if you want to be obvious get one of these shirts

then people can walk up to you and talk to you but as I say I just want to be recognized as a lesbian (and I do wear those symbols)

I think it's only natural that we do it and because we have all studied the major and subtle differences that differentiate the sexes, we are far more tuned in to the cues to spot another trans person. But.... We can over analyze things and easily start seeing trans people where there aren't any.

Last year, I was on a business trip to Namibia and as I was having lunch down by the docks, a whole group of tourist came walking by and my transdar started going off like crazy. I was wondering if it was some sort of trans cruise or something. 

Curiosity got the best of me and I purposely got closer to check a few of the girls I thought were certainly trans. I got a coffee and sat at the table next to one of the girls and discretely checked her out and I came to the conclusion that they weren't trans. Just all Germans...

Quote from: JessicaH on July 28, 2013, 09:13:18 AM
Curiosity got the best of me and I purposely got closer to check a few of the girls I thought were certainly trans. I got a coffee and sat at the table next to one of the girls and discretely checked her out and I came to the conclusion that they weren't trans. Just all Germans...

Ha ha! What aspects made you think they were trans, exactly?

Quote from: vegie271 on July 28, 2013, 09:03:07 AM




but as I say I just want to be recognized as a lesbian (and I do wear those symbols)

I must admit this is probably my biggest frustrations with trans people. I really don't get how on the one hand they can be totally proud of their sexuality. But on the other be so ashamed of who they really are! That attitude is the reason why being trans is never going to reach the same level of acceptance in society the being gay has become. I would hate to see where the gay rights movement would be now if it wasn't for gay people being proud of who they were. 

Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 09:22:07 AM
I must admit this is probably my biggest frustrations with trans people. I really don't get how on the one hand they can be totally proud of their sexuality. But on the other be so ashamed of who they really are! That attitude is the reason why being trans is never going to reach the same level of acceptance in society the being gay has become. I would hate to see where the gay rights movement would be now if it wasn't for gay people being proud of who they were. 

I'm guessing it's related to the not so little stigma and negative connotations. Being gay is about sexuality. Trans is about gender. Personally, if I had other medical conditions too, I wouldn't stick on a badge advertising it. Should I?

It's interesting, I transitioned 10 years ago and back then I thought I saw trans women everywhere. I thought I was exceptional at spotting us. Nowadays I hardly see any. Mostly I just see cis-women with a few masculine features.

If there was a secret handshake I would not use it and I would not respond to it. If you used it on me I would probably not like you very much afterwards. I've never knowingly talked to another trans person IRL outside of the clinic I went to in Thailand.

Quote from: Nicolette on July 28, 2013, 09:30:35 AM
I'm guessing it's related to the not so little stigma and negative connotations. Being gay is about sexuality. Trans is about gender. Personally, if I had other medical conditions too, I wouldn't stick on a badge advertising it. Should I?

It may be me but I don't see being trans as a medical condition. 

Quote from: MariaMx on July 28, 2013, 09:33:18 AM
It's interesting, I transitioned 10 years ago and back then I thought I saw trans women everywhere. I thought I was exceptional at spotting us. Nowadays I hardly see any. Mostly I just see cis-women with a few masculine features.

Funny that. I don't remember seeing a readable trans woman in the past 10 years either. Maybe I'm just not looking out for 'them'.

Quote from: Nicolette on July 28, 2013, 09:40:03 AM
Funny that. I don't remember seeing a readable trans woman in the past 10 years either. Maybe I'm just not looking out for 'them'.

Perhaps, but personally I think I was probably wrong about most of the ones I thought I saw.

I had srs in Thailand 7 1/2 years ago and went back for AM last year. This time I thought all the patients looked way more passable than last time. Perhaps back then I focused way more on masculine features in women than I do today.

Occasionally I'll see someone I know for sure is trans, but I just try not to make eye contact and move on.

This doesn't really work on the fly, but there is always the gender pride flag this is likely going on my Facebook when I eventually start presenting as female and change my name:

Quote from: MariaMx on July 28, 2013, 10:00:05 AM
Perhaps, but personally I think I was probably wrong about most of the ones I thought I saw.

I had srs in Thailand 7 1/2 years ago and went back for AM last year. This time I thought all the patients looked way more passable than last time. Perhaps back then I focused way more on masculine features in women than I do today.

Occasionally I'll see someone I know for sure is trans, but I just try not to make eye contact and move on.

I'll be meeting a dozen trans women and men quite soon for my own SRS. I admit that I'm not the most social person in the world and thus quite apprehensive about it. It should be quite an eye-opener, especially for my Mum.  I haven't knowingly encountered anyone since 2000, if you exclude the couple I saw at my gender specialist's waiting room.

Quote from: Nicolette on July 28, 2013, 09:16:48 AM
Ha ha! What aspects made you think they were trans, exactly?

I don't remember exactly but I think it was just the usual things. What finally convinced me that I was wrong was getting close enough to hear them speak. Something to think about for all the girls that want to pass but aren't investing in their voice.....

Quote from: Andaya on July 28, 2013, 10:07:09 AM
This doesn't really work on the fly, but there is always the gender pride flag this is likely going on my Facebook when I eventually start presenting as female and change my name:

A small copy of the flag is on the sun visor of my pickup, along with the Anime Avatar from my old Susan's account to remind me of where I started with dreams, tears, and wishful sighs.

I'm out of the conversation now.  Too much personal processing for me.

Quote from: JessicaH on July 28, 2013, 10:29:46 AM
I don't remember exactly but I think it was just the usual things. What finally convinced me that I was wrong was getting close enough to hear them speak. Something to think about for all the girls that want to pass but aren't investing in their voice.....

This is so true. I've had this happen to me too. Usually it is in a check-out line or something. I might suspect it is possible the woman in front of me is trans, but then she speaks and I dismiss the whole idea out of hand. Generally, if you have a good voice, suspicion should disappear as soon as you open your mouth.

Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 09:22:07 AM
I must admit this is probably my biggest frustrations with trans people. I really don't get how on the one hand they can be totally proud of their sexuality. But on the other be so ashamed of who they really are! That attitude is the reason why being trans is never going to reach the same level of acceptance in society the being gay has become. I would hate to see where the gay rights movement would be now if it wasn't for gay people being proud of who they were. 

Maybe because no one has ever actually tried to KILL YOU for who you are, I never actually went around "out and proud"  but I did not exactly hide it, I went to all the demonstrations and attended meetings and I spoke at various functions and actually helped other people understand what it was to be trans in my city, until a man who thought I was cis gender tried to rape me, when he found out I was actually tans he beat me practically to death. Not only did the police in my city refuse to investigate, they made fun of me. Made a joke of the whole thing. My jaw never healed, only two teeth meet. please forgive me if I don't want to let anyone in this wasteland to know I am trans.

besides, you consider yourself trans - I consider myself female - all point of view

Quote from: vegie271 on July 28, 2013, 04:18:57 PM





besides, you consider yourself trans - I consider myself female - all point of view

Now I know I'm about to say something controversial but I'm going to say it anyways! Yes I am trans and amount of surgery or drugs will ever change that fact. It's something I had to come to grips with but it's the truth. It's the same reason I could never be male either. Like it or not I'm trans I can't consider myself fully female because this was the way I was born. Maybe you see something wrong with that but I do not. 

Quote from: vegie271 on July 28, 2013, 04:18:57 PM
Not only did the police in my city refuse to investigate, they made fun of me.

That's horrible. I had an encounter with the police and I had to tell the I was trans since they were calling a female office to search me and when I said i was male they thought I was being a smart a**, (I didn't think I passed before this, still kinda don't) and the police were extremely professional, nice, respectful and asked what I wanted to be called and everything. The whole encounter lasted about 10 minutes then I was on my way. This was a 'bout a month ago.

But yeah that's horrible. I'm so sorry.

Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 05:34:43 PM
Now I know I'm about to say something controversial but I'm going to say it anyways! Yes I am trans and amount of surgery or drugs will ever change that fact. It's something I had to come to grips with but it's the truth. It's the same reason I could never be male either. Like it or not I'm trans I can't consider myself fully female because this was the way I was born. Maybe you see something wrong with that but I do not. 

I'm still on the fence about whether to consider myself female. Part of me is just like it will never be no matter how much I change, no matter what I do.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 28, 2013, 05:54:43 PM


I'm still on the fence about whether to consider myself female. Part of me is just like it will never be no matter how much I change, no matter what I do.

Don't get me wrong I consider myself female. It's just I can't just lie to myself and say I'm not trans because I am. Nothing going to change that fact! It's not like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and that whole being born male thing never happened because it did.
But the whole point I was trying to make with my first post until we stand up for ourselves being trans is always going to be looked down upon.