When I was at Sally Beauty, I spent two hours in the store just scanning items, intensely analyzing and acquiring information and I found myself struck by how seemingly very complex that......accentuating the appearance of the feminine physical persona was!

It really blew [what's left of] my mind! 

So much to learn, so much to refine, personalize and to 'perfect'.

'Guy mode' was nothing like this and what made that mode even easier, was that I just didn't care about my appearance.

Oh, I did to a point, but not much of one..........and why should I have cared, whilst operating in that mode? The mode itself felt terribly wrong and terribly uncomfortable.

But now, I find that I am nearly 'fanatical' about my appearance and beauty and that is something of a shock to absorb, the radical shift in concern about public presentation!

I've got the mandible alteration surgery in roughly two months and I am just locked on this target with a passion.

This is strange, friends.

So much to learn! 

Quote from: Rhonda on July 03, 2007, 08:51:30 PM
When I was at Sally Beauty, I spent two hours in the store just scanning items, intensely analyzing and acquiring information and I found myself struck by how seemingly very complex that......accentuating the appearance of the feminine physical persona was!

A really neat book I enjoyed on the subject is: Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin

~Kate~

Quote from: Kate on July 03, 2007, 08:56:43 PM

Quote from: Rhonda on July 03, 2007, 08:51:30 PM
When I was at Sally Beauty, I spent two hours in the store just scanning items, intensely analyzing and acquiring information and I found myself struck by how seemingly very complex that......accentuating the appearance of the feminine physical persona was!

A really neat book I enjoyed on the subject is: Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin

~Kate~

I will acquire it, per your recommendation. I have faith in you.

But do you know what I thought of just now Kate? I noted another thread about 'passing' and it prompted a thought:

"Passing is VERY important to me. It is VERY high priority."

I didn't come this far and through so much agony, to fall short in this crucial component of the true persona.

This...I don't know....ardent desire to achieve stealth has only been fueled by recent instances where I more or less, just 'threw something on' in order to achieve an objective and to return home and I was either 'ma'am'ed, treated like a lady or nobody thought anything of my appearance nor stared at me; it seemed granted that I was just another woman [which is true enough].

I essentially made no effort to pass and I passed.

And do you know what I thought yesterday, after I left Sally Beauty??

"I WILL be pretty, I WILL be beautiful. Indeed, I already am."

This journey is mind-blowing like nothing ever experienced.

Quote from: Rhonda on July 03, 2007, 09:15:22 PM
nobody thought anything of my appearance or stared at me; it seemed granted that I was just another woman [which is true enough].

Such struggle, pain and effort... just so we can be ignored and not noticed. The ultimate irony, yes?

~Kate~

Quote from: Kate on July 03, 2007, 09:22:11 PM

Quote from: Rhonda on July 03, 2007, 09:15:22 PM
nobody thought anything of my appearance or stared at me; it seemed granted that I was just another woman [which is true enough].

Such struggle, pain and effort... just so we can be ignored and not noticed. The ultimate irony, yes?

~Kate~

WOW...........isn't that something, sis.

Or such is even a thing desired, in the sense where you finally fit in completely and with comfort, as being accepted finally as 'normal'....

[shaking her head....]

My Lord, Kate.........

I second the "Making faces" book,  very informative.  Yes apearance matters now, it's part of being a women.

Beni

I picked up the Making Faces book on a recommendation by a GG friend of mine who knew about me. It was new at the time so I paid almost full price for it, which was a huge hit in the pocket book then, but have never felt like it was wasted money. I actually suggest that book to almost everyone I meet in the real. I even wrote a review of it on a blog I once had and it was picked up by other book sites.

R.I.P. Kevyn

Quote from: LostInTime on July 04, 2007, 06:37:11 AM
I picked up the Making Faces book on a recommendation by a GG friend of mine who knew about me. It was new at the time so I paid almost full price for it, which was a huge hit in the pocket book then, but have never felt like it was wasted money. I actually suggest that book to almost everyone I meet in the real. I even wrote a review of it on a blog I once had and it was picked up by other book sites.

R.I.P. Kevyn

Well, to not buy this book after recommendation by two respected sources, constitutes stupidity.

Thanx to both of you.   

Yes Rhonda,

I find myself over whelmed at times and so much to think of before you go out and that's not even mentioning the COST, lol. Arrrrrr beauty and as Kate says, all to be not noticed, I find that ironic too.

I think it is much more wanting to pass than anything else isn't it girls?

hugs and kisses

Nigella

Quote from: Nigella on July 04, 2007, 06:54:34 AM
I think it is much more wanting to pass than anything else isn't it girls?

Yes, to be totally and unquestionably accepted as a woman, and to feel fantastic!!!
Louise

Quote from: Nigella on July 04, 2007, 06:54:34 AM
Yes Rhonda,

I find myself over whelmed at times and so much to think of before you go out and that's not even mentioning the COST, lol. Arrrrrr beauty and as Kate says, all to be not noticed, I find that ironic too.

I think it is much more wanting to pass than anything else isn't it girls?

hugs and kisses

Nigella

l
Hmmm...if I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, it is order to get noticed. Like everything else, it becomes second nature after awhile. Daily, I use some tinted sunscreen, eyebrow pencil, mascara and (maybe) lipstick. Takes me five minutes.

Quote from: melissa90299 on July 04, 2007, 07:37:05 AM

Quote from: Nigella on July 04, 2007, 06:54:34 AM
Yes Rhonda,

I find myself over whelmed at times and so much to think of before you go out and that's not even mentioning the COST, lol. Arrrrrr beauty and as Kate says, all to be not noticed, I find that ironic too.

I think it is much more wanting to pass than anything else isn't it girls?

hugs and kisses

Nigella

l
Hmmm...if I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, it is order to get noticed. Like everything else, it becomes second nature after awhile. Daily, I use some tinted sunscreen, eyebrow pencil, mascara and (maybe) lipstick. Takes me five minutes.

[laughing, thinking fondly of her sister]

Oh, just go away Melissa.   

Yeah, you're pretty and yeah, I'm jealous.

Just go away! 

LOL don't be jealous, I will be paying off my surgery bills the rest of my  life.

Quote from: melissa90299 on July 04, 2007, 08:00:13 AM
LOL don't be jealous, I will be paying off my surgery bills the rest of my  life.

But given what you have had to pass through in this mode of existence Melissa, what choice was there?

Having been there, I would say no choice.

Agony 'gets old', yes?

And you deserve more than simply just to exist, oft clinging barely to the same by your fingernails.

You deserve better than that. 

A lot of people spend $50,000 (or a lot more) on a vehicle that they can only be seen in and enjoy a few hours a  day, I get to be in my face and body 24 hours a day and in the worst case scenario, they can't repossess my face or body!

Quote from: Nigella on July 04, 2007, 06:54:34 AM
I think it is much more wanting to pass than anything else isn't it girls?

Ultimately, I do think it's all about self-acceptance. But how to get there? Yikes... it seems to vary from person to person.

But being pretty and passing is pointless if someone is miserable inside, having never undone all the emotional damage from the GID...

And yet it's more of a struggle to be happy inside if every day becomes a test of one's resolve...

~Kate~

Quote from: Kate on July 04, 2007, 11:03:04 AM

Quote from: Nigella on July 04, 2007, 06:54:34 AM
I think it is much more wanting to pass than anything else isn't it girls?

Ultimately, I do think it's all about self-acceptance. But how to get there? Yikes... it seems to vary from person to person.

But being pretty and passing is pointless if someone is miserable inside, having never undone all the emotional damage from the GID...

And yet it's more of a struggle to be happy inside if every day becomes a test of one's resolve...

~Kate~

well crap, girl......its bad enough that i am crying; i don't need company. 

Quote from: Rhonda on July 04, 2007, 11:56:56 AM
well crap, girl......its bad enough that i am crying; i don't need company. 

I'm so sorry Rhonda, I know it's not fair... but it seems to be the price we have to pay.

But there WILL come a day when you ARE who you want to be, totally and 100%, and you'll look back on all this tragedy and pain and lessons and realize just how much you've learned because of it, how much more you appreciate being Rhonda *because* of the trials you endured.

~Kate~

Quote from: Kate on July 04, 2007, 12:08:59 PM

Quote from: Rhonda on July 04, 2007, 11:56:56 AM
well crap, girl......its bad enough that i am crying; i don't need company. 

I'm so sorry Rhonda, I know it's not fair... but it seems to be the price we have to pay.

But there WILL come a day when you ARE who you want to be, totally and 100%, and you'll look back on all this tragedy and pain and lessons and realize just how much you've learned because of it, how much more you appreciate being Rhonda *because* of the trials you endured.

~Kate~

I can't seem to stop crying, but there is no danger here [but there will be, if I run out of burnt popcorn.  ].

I'm more concerned about you, than I. 

But you're so sweet, Kate and you need to persevere as well as I.

I'm very concerned about what you are going through and if I can help in any way, please ask.

[thoughtfully]

That's what sisters are for. 

I agree Kate,

Self-acceptance goes a long way to help with the inside crap that GID throws up. Which we all have had to deal/dealing with to more or less a degree. I for one have only just accepted that I am transgender (don't like the word transexual). it has thrown my world upside down as I have come out to my wife. 40+ years of keeping a lid on this stuff makes a mark on the soul that sometime is hard to bear.

I think we deal with both inside and out. That's the only way to be whole again.

Rhonda and Kate, big hug

Nigella