Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 01:19:43 PM
Trust me I understand how you feel. I've posted plenty pictures but I really don't think I'm all that and I see countless women on this site who are way better looking than me. But really that's not going stop me from posting pics. Because I know most of that is all in my head just like it is for you.
The only way your never going to never succeed is if you never try. So don't give up hope I promise you will be fabulous one of these days if you keep the hope alive you will be! 

I agree with everything Heather said. I've been told that I pass and look cis female. I don't see it but other people do. I don't know if I'll ever be attractive or even half as attractive as many of the women here, but you know what? Who cares? I've been happier than I've ever been just by being me. Don't sweat the stuff you can't control, especially when other people will see your beauty even when you can't. 

Quote from: Amelia Pond on July 28, 2013, 01:27:10 PM
I agree with everything Heather said. I've been told that I pass and look cis female. I don't see it but other people do. I don't know if I'll ever be attractive or even half as attractive as many of the women here, but you know what? Who cares? I've been happier than I've ever been just by being me. Don't sweat the stuff you can't control, especially when other people will see your beauty even when you can't. 

Don't worry, you wont be thinking about any of that stuff when you are running from the weeping angels!!

I understand that people get upset about this stuff, at one point I kinda was too.

But instead of being overly upset about it, I immediately took it upon myself to begin learning what I needed to do to present the way I desired. And now, I am nearly completely happy with the way I present.

People too often do not realize that for most [if not all] women, beauty is a learned skill. There are very few of us that are innately attractive as females without any help from makeup, fashion, accessories, etc. I absolutely include myself in this category! Everyone has good features about themselves. Learning how to accentuate things that you should and downplay others WILL make a HUGE difference!

There's absolutely no need to get down on yourself about it. It's time to LEARN and DO! Maybe you will have to accept that makeup is a necessity in order to look the way you want- just as I had to do. Now, I love makeup because of the way it makes me feel.

If your goal is to be attractive/beautiful/fabulous, then go do it! There aren't ANY ugly women in the world, only lazy ones!

Quote from: dr girlfriend on July 28, 2013, 01:36:48 PM
Don't worry, you wont be thinking about any of that stuff when you are running from the weeping angels!!

I'll have you know that I've gotten very good at not blinking!

Quote from: CalifornianChris on July 27, 2013, 07:48:40 PM
I'll join the wagon! Click on these to enlarge them. I'm 23 and a pre-op that had nothing but laser hair removal and HRT. You all look so good

Before/After: July '13; my 13th month of HRT

The difference is stunning; it is amazing that those two pictures are both of you.   

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on July 26, 2013, 07:52:53 PM

So pretty.

I have wondered about this thread sometimes.  Is it encouraging because it can give so much hope to some, or discouraging because it can make others feel bad about how they look?  I know when I am feeling bad about how I look I get annoyed when I see beautiful women.

I guess it probably does both.  My feeling is, know yourself and your emotional condition.  If I feel like I'll be discouraged by seeing women that look great, I won't click on the link to this thread.  Why punish myself?

It really can be encouraging for people just starting out to be able to see where they can get with resilience, work, and a lil luck, and I think this thread has a ton of value because of that.

PS You all are so gorgeous!

Definitely feeling that the tone of this thread changed a lot as it became apparent that some feel ignored, others discouraged etc.
Seeing this has made me really sad.  No matter how beautiful other people think we are, often it makes no difference to us internally, that lack of objectivity is a hard thing to reconcile within ourselves.
As I said in my last post, sometimes I still see a guy in the mirror. I know that objectively that's crazy, but what I almost never post here either is myself without any makeup.
I also take about 10+ pictures that get deleted for 1 that I like.
I also know that there's a slight optical distortion in my phones's front lens that can lengthen my face in some photo's and make my jaw look wider than it is if I don't angle it right.
I don't know if my posting a "not at my best" picture will help anyone at all, but...

here's one of me that I REALLY don't like.



And here's one taken less than an hour later, after putting makeup on, doing my hair, finding good lighting and taking two dozen photos.



When I look good, it's definitely not by accident!
Anyway, I know I have nothing to complain about, but I also know that all the photo's of the "pretty girls" took a lot of work and more than a trick or two because none of us, Cis or Trans look that great when we roll out of bed in the morning.

Except when I straight up do

Damn, sometimes just enough eyeliner stays on from the night berfore......

Quote from: Jen on July 28, 2013, 02:40:55 PM
I have wondered about this thread sometimes.  Is it encouraging because it can give so much hope to some, or discouraging because it can make others feel bad about how they look?  I know when I am feeling bad about how I look I get annoyed when I see beautiful women.

I actually avoid this thread most days because it kinda triggers all my low self esteem issues. I know it's not the beautiful women who post on this thread fault I feel this way.  This is my own issue I'm having to deal with.

You're awesome, Rowan!  <3

Quote from: Rowan Rue on July 28, 2013, 02:57:54 PM
Definitely feeling that the tone of this thread changed a lot as it became apparent that some feel ignored, others discouraged etc.
Seeing this has made me really sad.  No matter how beautiful other people think we are, often it makes no difference to us internally, that lack of objectivity is a hard thing to reconcile within ourselves.
As I said in my last post, sometimes I still see a guy in the mirror. I know that objectively that's crazy, but what I almost never post here either is myself without any makeup.
I also take about 10+ pictures that get deleted for 1 that I like.
I also know that there's a slight optical distortion in my phones's front lens that can lengthen my face in some photo's and make my jaw look wider than it is if I don't angle it right.
I don't know if my posting a "not at my best" picture will help anyone at all, but...

here's one of me that I REALLY don't like.



And here's one taken less than an hour later, after putting makeup on, doing my hair, finding good lighting and taking two dozen photos.



When I look good, it's definitely not by accident!
Anyway, I know I have nothing to complain about, but I also know that all the photo's of the "pretty girls" took a lot of work and more than a trick or two because none of us, Cis or Trans look that great when we roll out of bed in the morning.

Except when I straight up do

Damn, sometimes just enough eyeliner stays on from the night berfore......

You know you look a lot like my best friends girlfriend. You look great!

Rowan you look good even when you don't look good.  I think that made sense.  For balance, I could post my pictures, but I would not be comfortable doing so.  Honestly, I was trying to convey in my last post on this thread that looks are only one part of who we are, and we should not place too much importance on that one part.

Thanks a lot for all these nice answers to my poisonous words. I calmed down a bit and feel a little shame for the words I posted. But still... I wrote what I had in mind and it's all about honesty here, right?

I think, the main problem I have is the German law. I'm supposed to live months full time before I can even get a prescription of hormones. That means I still have to wait for about a year, because I didn't have the guts to make an appointment with a therapist yet. I'll have to wait a few weeks for the appointment, then sort things out with her. If that's done, Ill have to start my full time and if that's successful I'll get my prescription.

It's just a colossal mountain to climb. And I stand a the bottom and it induces so much fear into my mind...

Quote from: Shantel on July 28, 2013, 09:43:13 AM
so try and not feel too bad about yourself PiaBianca!

Quote from: monarch on July 28, 2013, 12:53:57 PM
Try to remember that such things are beyond our control, and that our time is better spent tending to the things where we can make a difference.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 28, 2013, 01:04:13 PM
Please believe me, there is a lot about you to love.

Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 01:19:43 PM
Trust me I understand how you feel.

Quote from: Amelia Pond on July 28, 2013, 01:27:10 PM
Don't sweat the stuff you can't control, especially when other people will see your beauty even when you can't. 

Quote from: Jennygirl on July 28, 2013, 01:51:34 PM
If your goal is to be attractive/beautiful/fabulous, then go do it! There aren't ANY ugly women in the world, only lazy ones!

Quote from: Jen on July 28, 2013, 02:40:55 PM
It really can be encouraging for people just starting out to be able to see where they can get with resilience, work, and a lil luck, and I think this thread has a ton of value because of that.

I want to derail things and talk about that ridiculous law, but instead I'll just say that all mountains can be climbed, the steps to every summit are numbered.  The only trick is taking that very first step and then keep putting one foot after the other and not stopping till you get there.  You don't leap to the top of a mountain in one big single bound, I feel we can be so apt to look at them that way and get overwhelmed.  Don't .

Have courage Pia, set up that appointment to see a therapist Today, you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel for doing it.  Every step is easier than the last too.

Quote from: CalifornianChris on July 27, 2013, 07:48:40 PM
I'll join the wagon! Click on these to enlarge them. I'm 23 and a pre-op that had nothing but laser hair removal and HRT. You all look so good

Feb. '13

CalifornianChris, you're looking pretty good yourself.  Don't sell yourself short!

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 28, 2013, 04:40:14 PM


It's just a colossal mountain to climb. And I stand a the bottom and it induces so much fear into my mind...

We all have to start off at the bottom of that mountain. So better start climbing girl the sooner you start the sooner you will reach the top. Don't think about the size of that mountain keep your eyes on the top and whatever you do don't look down! 

Quote from: Jen on July 28, 2013, 05:26:44 PM
I want to derail things and talk about that ridiculous law, but instead I'll just say that all mountains can be climbed, the steps to every summit are numbered.

Quote from: Rowan Rue on July 28, 2013, 07:00:50 PM
Have courage Pia, set up that appointment to see a therapist Today, you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel for doing it.  Every step is easier than the last too.

Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 09:14:45 PM
So better start climbing girl the sooner you start the sooner you will reach the top.

Thank you all for the nice responses to my not-so-nice words. It's really appreciated. It feels much better to open this thread and to start crying over the kindness of your words. I just can't describe the feelings of thankfulness properly. Just be assured, they are huge and overwhelming.

Just to start looking at the bright side: I finally started to reconnect to my feelings. I was more connected to them in my earlier years; most of the time I was picked on for crying or showing other strong feelings. I'm kinda proud of my outbreak now. Not really about the words I wrote, but still...

I'll see if I can do the call today. My SO is at home and she doesn't know nothing. I want to keep her like that until I'm sure where the way leads to. I fear for her leaving me as she's totally straight, but that's a thing I'll deal with later. If it's star-crossed, I'll have to wait for Thursday which is the next day she won't be at home when therapists have their office hours.

But I gotta do it. It's just not okay to spit my poisonous words at you again and attending a therapist will help with that in one way or another.

Rowan, I have the same issue. I still see guy in the mirror too. I can take a picture I think looks good and the next day I think, "Why did I post this?" I just have a really sucky and piss poor body image problem. I know I drive Caleb crazy with it. And I can't seem to help it. Having a messed up leg doesn't help either, even though what I went though to keep that messed up leg would have most others screaming and crying. Then seeing the other women in these threads and their selfies,  it can be hard. lol

Quote from: Keaira on July 29, 2013, 05:36:21 AM
Rowan, I have the same issue. I still see guy in the mirror too. I can take a picture I think looks good and the next day I think, "Why did I post this?" I just have a really sucky and piss poor body image problem.

Gawd I know... I hate that feeling and feel the same way all the time