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What to do with hurtful things parents give you?

Started by Anna++, July 28, 2013, 07:10:52 PM

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Anna++

The last time I saw my mom she gave me the book "Paper Genders" by Walt Hayer which supposedly debunks the effectiveness of transitioning (*sigh*).  I expect that reading it will only be hurtful (one of the Amazon reviews even calls it "disgusting"), so I'm not even going to bother.  The question is, what should I do with it?  I don't want to display it on my bookshelf, since I don't want my friends to think I'm anti-LGBT.  I've thought about burning it when I go camping next week, but for whatever reason I still have some residual loyalty to my parents and I feel bad about the waste of money.  I don't want to donate the book because somebody else might read it and believe it.  What else is there to do?
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Antonia J

Throw it away and don't think about it again.
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suzifrommd

Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Devlyn

It seems obvious this isn't about the book, the book is a symbol for the barrier between you. Give it back to her. Hold her hand, and tell her you love her, but your path isn't in this book. Hugs, Devlyn
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Anna++

Recycling is a good option.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 28, 2013, 07:28:05 PM
It seems obvious this isn't about the book, the book is a symbol for the barrier between you. Give it back to her. Hold her hand, and tell her you love her, but your path isn't in this book. Hugs, Devlyn

I may also mail it back... holding her hand and handing it back in person is out of the question after recent events.  I would really prefer to keep my distance.
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Antonia J

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 28, 2013, 07:28:05 PM
It seems obvious this isn't about the book, the book is a symbol for the barrier between you. Give it back to her. Hold her hand, and tell her you love her, but your path isn't in this book. Hugs, Devlyn

Isn't she the one who discussed harming you? I wouldn't do the above for fear of triggering a reaction from her.  I would just recycle and move on.
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Devlyn

Apologies, I missed that. Compost the book. Hugs, Devlyn
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Anna++

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 28, 2013, 07:41:33 PM
Apologies, I missed that. Compost the book. Hugs, Devlyn

No worries :).  This is a busy site and it's hard to keep up with everything sometimes.
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Ltl89

If it bothers you, throw it away.  You shouldn't torture yourself over something like this.

Though, I would probably read it.  I know this sounds weird, but I enjoy hearing from those with different perspectives.  I feel I can either learn to look at something some other way, learn about the other side of the position's psychology and/or find another way to pick up apart fallacious arguments to help educate those who hold ignorant views or incorrect positions (imo).  Either way I benefit from the outcome.  I guess I'm weird.  I see everything as an educational experience.  In the case of this book, I would read the book and then write a long detailed essay on why it is wrong which I would give to my mother.  That way I can at least humor her and show her that I did give her book a read and considered her views while explaining why I have come to the conclusion that I have.  However, in the case of your mother, I don't think anything at this point will put her at ease.  She is on a different wave length.

So read it for your own entertainment or throw it away if it causing you emotional distress.  That's about the only solution you have if you don't want it to fall into someone else's hands. 

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Arch

Over the years, I have kept a few things that my family gave me OUT OF LOVE or their version of it. In every case, I wanted to toss these things. When I hung onto them, they sort of ate away at me like acid. When I got rid of them, I felt much, much better. I gave away the book (it was a decent book, not like yours). The acrostic with my birth name on it? I tore that to shreds after hating it for fifteen years.

At this point in my life, I would have no trouble destroying a book like the one you received. If you recycle it, tear it up first. Doing so can be very satisfying and prevents anyone else from rescuing it intact.

ETA: I just read several pages of this book on Amazon. The author cleverly spins certain points ("LGBT people would say..."--uh, no, I don't think they would) and is extremely dishonest and misleading with statistics. Any reasonably competent reader should be able to see through him. In other words, most people won't.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Joe.

I'd rip out page by page, then shove them through a shredder  :angel:
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LordKAT

I accept gifts as I do advice. Smile and accept gracefully. Use what you can or want and disregard the rest.
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StellaB

I'd get rid of the book. Never keep anything even of great material value from those with evil or malicious intent towards you either about your person or in your home. You don't need such karmic bonds. A good example of a karmic bond is something which you have sentimental value.

If you do go down a path which is wrong for you, then please feel sure that those with good intentions will be able to find a way of showing you without threatening you in any way. But I also feel that experience is the best teacher in life and most of the stuff you need to know or learn is stuff you teach yourself.

It's no different from school which is why you often remember the good teachers from childhood throughout your life.Good people in life inspire you to want to learn something rather than try to tear you down and show you you are wrong. 
"The truth within me is more than the reality which surrounds me."
Constantin Stanislavski

Mistakes not only provide opportunities for learning but also make good stories.
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bethany

I would use to to start campfires. Then tell your mom that the book came in really handy during your camping trip. It literally gave you light and warmed you up.
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King Malachite

Use it as something to put your drinks on

OR

If you ever run out of toilet paper....



That way you are still getting some use out of it.

There's always target practice or the option of using the pages as napkins
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"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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MadeleineG

Consider filing it on the shelf next to Mein Kampf, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, Tintin in the Congo, and God Made Dad & Mom.

Know your enemy!

Maddy
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Amelia Pond

Just recycle it, that way your mom just helped the Earth. ;)

Though I also like Bethany's idea.  >:-)

Amy
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Misato

I like the composting idea.  Maybe some flowers will grow.  That book should be effective fertilizer after all.
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bethany

Quote from: Amelia Pond on July 28, 2013, 09:44:15 PM
Just recycle it, that way your mom just helped the Earth. ;)

Though I also like Bethany's idea.  >:-)

Amy

Nothing like roasting marshmellows for smores over a bad book.  than Anna can say it also gave her food for thought. LOL
I been reading to many of Devlyn's posts
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Amelia Pond

Quote from: Bethany Dawn on July 28, 2013, 10:11:14 PM
Nothing like roasting marshmellows for smores over a bad book.  than Anna can say it also gave her food for thought. LOL

Forget what I said before, just go with Bethany's idea, it keeps getting better and better.  :icon_cool:
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