When this question was asked pre-transition I said hell no. When it was asked during transition, same answer. When it was asked a couple years ago, same. Now, I'm not sure. Sometimes I really do wish I could have just been a woman and had the happy ending with a spouse and kids. Now in my mid 30s, the fact I'll never have children (biological at least unless I somehow can do the egg freeze thing) is starting to get to me. That's something dysphoria prevented. There are other things too. I see kids I went to high school with and I'm jealous. That they have a family. A normal life. Obviously this doesn't apply to every trans person as some do have what I'm talking about. But it wasn't possible for me because of the dysphoria. If I were a cis woman, I'd have what I always wanted - normalcy. I never wanted to be a guy or even cared about being masculine - I just was. I never envied men, I envied women. What I really wanted was to be like everyone else. When I was in my teens and early 20s there was nothing I wanted more than to be a normal girl. I think I might have swallowed the pill.
Not speaking to anyone in particular, but I think there's a tendency in early transition to get swept up in the romance of the whole thing. You're focused on a goal, a physical result and that's all you can see. Meanwhile, while you're doing all this, making all these sacrifices, spending all this money, in some cases enduring physical pain, justifying your life to everyone and the courts - you've got to believe this is all worth it. It's all for some noble cause of being true to yourself. And if you've still got something left to do - the big finish like a surgery or something, it's all important. Now that that's all behind me, I sometimes really wish I could have just been a cis woman. Sure, I've been true to myself. I'm a dude and now the world knows it. I'm not sure what that's worth anymore.
