Quote from: Rowan Rue on July 27, 2013, 02:04:59 PM
Woke up, looked in the mirror and saw a face that I felt looked 100% male. 
I really understand how anorexia can make people see an overweight person in the mirror when in reality the person is starving to death.
Remind me it's all in my head please?

Well, I don't know what you saw in the mirror ... but it sure wasn't the face in those photos!
Several months ago, maybe longer, you were posting pics that looked incredibly stylish, cool and androgynous in a David Bowie, Rebel Rebel kinda way (Got you mother in a whirl/ She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl) ...
Then you got a new cut (I think I'm remembering pink and quite short!) and you were suddenly much more feminine, more pixie-like.
Now you just look like a really pretty young woman - and both the blue dress and the red are just adorable!

OK, so you can post pics that you don't like and make you look more masculine - in your eyes. But plenty of cis-girls have pics they hate, for a gazillion different reasons - and plenty of those pics look a lot more butch than yours do. It's just that it never enters a cis-girl's head to think of herself as anything but a girl. It's only because you're coming out from behind that male prison door that you still see the old you, who was trapped being a man. But believe you me, if you walk down the street in your cute red dress, with your blonde hair and your pretty face, the world is going to let you know that you look 110% female.

And by the way ... that smile is just gorgeous!!

Quote from: Jennygirl on July 27, 2013, 09:50:33 PM
1000 posts, what the heck! Can't believe it!



I hope you are all having a wonderfully summery weekend!!

You look SO SO HAPPY!!!

Quote from: Carlita on July 29, 2013, 08:13:08 AM
You look SO SO HAPPY!!!

It's obvious that she's one of those gifted women who brighten up a room when she walks in!

Quote from: Keaira on July 29, 2013, 05:36:21 AM
Rowan, I have the same issue. I still see guy in the mirror too. I can take a picture I think looks good and the next day I think, "Why did I post this?" I just have a really sucky and piss poor body image problem. I know I drive Caleb crazy with it. And I can't seem to help it. Having a messed up leg doesn't help either, even though what I went though to keep that messed up leg would have most others screaming and crying. Then seeing the other women in these threads and their selfies,  it can be hard. lol

Keaira, lighten up and take a look from what someone else sees, not from your own hypercritical view of yourself. You're a pretty woman who nobody would mistake for a male. I had a knee replacement that went horribly wrong and I got MRSA and they wanted to take my leg too. You need to be proud of surviving something like that too, girl, because lots of people aren't strong enough to keep going with a smile. Or keep going at all. We're women in every meaningful sense of the word, our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Plus you really are pretty, so stop driving Caleb crazy!

Quote from: Rowan Rue on July 27, 2013, 02:04:59 PM
Woke up, looked in the mirror and saw a face that I felt looked 100% male. 
I really understand how anorexia can make people see an overweight person in the mirror when in reality the person is starving to death.
Remind me it's all in my head please?

Hi Rowan, you've been going through some break ups and things if I remember right, and it's obviously clouding your self image. As for taking 10 photos to get one, join the crowd. You, more than most, should know from being involved in fashion, how many photos are taken with perfect lighting, perfect makeup, perfect angles and even supermodels have what they consider flaws. You're an absolutely gorgeous woman who looks 1000% female at every angle except the one YOU are looking from right now. I have obvious flaws that I'd love to have fixed, one in particular, but I just have make do with what I have. Jenny said something so true in my eyes, that 'there are no ugly women in the world, just lazy ones.' Or something close to that. I'll be 59 in 18 days and under the circumstances, I'm finally very happy with what I see. When I'm depressed over my back, all I have to do is look into the mirror, look at my now quite feminine hands because of the weight I've lost, or limp over to my closet and see all the clothes I've bought and can wear whenever I want. We all have to remember, we've done what we only dreamed of for years, some of us for our entire lives (me) and we need to enjoy the fact that our bodies are becoming one with our minds, hearts and spirits. I just lost my brother and I refuse to be miserable like I was for the first 57 years of my life. Hugs and blessings to us all! Mira

Got some new tie-dye tank tops over the weekend 

Quote from: Rowan Rue on July 27, 2013, 02:04:59 PM
Woke up, looked in the mirror and saw a face that I felt looked 100% male. 
I really understand how anorexia can make people see an overweight person in the mirror when in reality the person is starving to death.
Remind me it's all in my head please?

Good lord Rowan!

You are so very beautiful!!  you have nothing to worry about at all missy!

Of course we are our own worse critics, I could only hope to be as pretty as you

Rowan, these recent pics apparently have that "Drew Barrymore" vibe. Or is it just me?

Quote from: Miranda Elizabeth on July 29, 2013, 01:03:35 PM
Keaira, lighten up and take a look from what someone else sees, not from your own hypercritical view of yourself. You're a pretty woman who nobody would mistake for a male. I had a knee replacement that went horribly wrong and I got MRSA and they wanted to take my leg too. You need to be proud of surviving something like that too, girl, because lots of people aren't strong enough to keep going with a smile. Or keep going at all. We're women in every meaningful sense of the word, our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Plus you really are pretty, so stop driving Caleb crazy!

But... I like torturing Caleb.
But, in all seriousness, I did spend some time today to look in the mirror today. My face has really rounded out and its probably still
Going to keep changing for a while. Most of my gripes could be fixed with good diet and and working out. Maybe some padding,  surgical augmenration and a lowered hairline. unemployment also has a negative effect on me.

Quote from: Carlita on July 29, 2013, 08:13:08 AM
You look SO SO HAPPY!!!

I was having a good day and summery clothing styles are my favorite!

I haven't had much time off recently, and I had the re-realization that I cannot live without weekends. It's a good one to have I guess!

Thanks Carlita!

Quote from: Shantel on July 29, 2013, 09:44:46 AM
It's obvious that she's one of those gifted women who brighten up a room when she walks in!

Shan, you never cease to make me smile with your words. You've been an inspiration to me ever since I became a member here, and you definitely have the best ability to brighten any room that I know of. Thanks for brightening mine I love my Auntie Shan!!!

Quote from: Miranda Elizabeth on July 29, 2013, 01:03:35 PM
Keaira, lighten up and take a look from what someone else sees, not from your own hypercritical view of yourself. You're a pretty woman who nobody would mistake for a male. I had a knee replacement that went horribly wrong and I got MRSA and they wanted to take my leg too. You need to be proud of surviving something like that too, girl, because lots of people aren't strong enough to keep going with a smile. Or keep going at all. We're women in every meaningful sense of the word, our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Plus you really are pretty, so stop driving Caleb crazy!Hi Rowan, you've been going through some break ups and things if I remember right, and it's obviously clouding your self image. As for taking 10 photos to get one, join the crowd. You, more than most, should know from being involved in fashion, how many photos are taken with perfect lighting, perfect makeup, perfect angles and even supermodels have what they consider flaws. You're an absolutely gorgeous woman who looks 1000% female at every angle except the one YOU are looking from right now. I have obvious flaws that I'd love to have fixed, one in particular, but I just have make do with what I have. Jenny said something so true in my eyes, that 'there are no ugly women in the world, just lazy ones.' Or something close to that. I'll be 59 in 18 days and under the circumstances, I'm finally very happy with what I see. When I'm depressed over my back, all I have to do is look into the mirror, look at my now quite feminine hands because of the weight I've lost, or limp over to my closet and see all the clothes I've bought and can wear whenever I want. We all have to remember, we've done what we only dreamed of for years, some of us for our entire lives (me) and we need to enjoy the fact that our bodies are becoming one with our minds, hearts and spirits. I just lost my brother and I refuse to be miserable like I was for the first 57 years of my life. Hugs and blessings to us all! Mira

Your such a beautiful person and a real inspiration Miranda , I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.
I really mean it when i say that there are a number of women on this site who have such an empowering positive attitude. Great to see and thank you!

Quote from: Rowan Rue on July 28, 2013, 02:57:54 PM
Definitely feeling that the tone of this thread changed a lot as it became apparent that some feel ignored, others discouraged etc.
Seeing this has made me really sad.  No matter how beautiful other people think we are, often it makes no difference to us internally, that lack of objectivity is a hard thing to reconcile within ourselves.
As I said in my last post, sometimes I still see a guy in the mirror. I know that objectively that's crazy, but what I almost never post here either is myself without any makeup.
I also take about 10+ pictures that get deleted for 1 that I like.
I also know that there's a slight optical distortion in my phones's front lens that can lengthen my face in some photo's and make my jaw look wider than it is if I don't angle it right.
I don't know if my posting a "not at my best" picture will help anyone at all, but...

here's one of me that I REALLY don't like.



And here's one taken less than an hour later, after putting makeup on, doing my hair, finding good lighting and taking two dozen photos.



When I look good, it's definitely not by accident!
Anyway, I know I have nothing to complain about, but I also know that all the photo's of the "pretty girls" took a lot of work and more than a trick or two because none of us, Cis or Trans look that great when we roll out of bed in the morning.

Except when I straight up do

Damn, sometimes just enough eyeliner stays on from the night berfore......

You look great Rowan! I for one would find it very hard to post a photo of myself where I felt i looked masculine/terrible (happens a lot), but i honestly think you have nothing to worry bout. Thanks for sharing hun

QuoteYour such a beautiful person and a real inspiration Miranda , I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.
I really mean it when i say that there are a number of women on this site who have such an empowering positive attitude. Great to see and thank you!

Thank you, Bardoux, for your kind words about my brother and me, too. I miss him more than I ever thought I would, because for the last 22 months of our lives together he let me be who I really was, his little sister. You're obviously a positive influence on other women on this site, which I read and post on almost exclusively now. I can honestly say that I'm really quite happy in my own skin now, partly because of what estrogen and anti-androgens have done to it, and partly because of what I can put on that skin as a woman! And wow, that is sooo sweet, so essential for me to be at peace with myself. The fact that I'm always treated as a woman is the nicest, most wonderful thing I've ever experienced, and I experience it every day. I wish I would have found Susan's Place years earlier than I did, especially the "Before and After" thread, and several more here, because I might have seen myself (and that I could truly find happiness as a transsexual woman) in a different light and transitioned much earlier. It took me three suicide attempts and painting myself into a corner where there was nothing more I could do to fail as a "man" (ha! What a joke!), and attempt to succeed as the woman I already was to a degree, and the woman I know I'm now becoming. God bless us all, because we certainly deserve it, and I thank Him daily for letting me live to be Mira

Sooooooo many gorgeous ladies here!!!!  Ahhhhhh!  I love it! <3 <3 <3

Quote from: Keaira on July 29, 2013, 05:36:21 AM
Rowan, I have the same issue. I still see guy in the mirror too. I can take a picture I think looks good and the next day I think, "Why did I post this?" I just have a really sucky and piss poor body image problem. I know I drive Caleb crazy with it. And I can't seem to help it. Having a messed up leg doesn't help either, even though what I went though to keep that messed up leg would have most others screaming and crying. Then seeing the other women in these threads and their selfies,  it can be hard. lol

I just saw this now...and yeah, it does drive me crazy because I think you are gorgeous.

Quote from: Ketchup Packet on August 02, 2013, 04:52:35 PM
I just saw this now...and yeah, it does drive me crazy because I think you are gorgeous.

Yes, well, you will still have a hard time changing my mind. -_-

First 2 I took yesterday. 

Quote from: Keaira on August 03, 2013, 04:45:44 AM
Yes, well, you will still have a hard time changing my mind. -_-

And you don't see me getting all mad and huffy because I can't make you feel better about your dysphoria *coughHINTcough* <3

Quote from: Teela Renee on August 03, 2013, 05:17:42 AM
First 2 I took yesterday. 

Q T

Quote from: CalifornianChris on July 27, 2013, 07:48:40 PM
I'll join the wagon! Click on these to enlarge them. I'm 23 and a pre-op that had nothing but laser hair removal and HRT. You all look so good

Feb. '13
May '13
Before/After: July '13; my 13th month of HRT

Wonderful results!

Quote from: Keaira on July 29, 2013, 05:36:21 AM
Rowan, I have the same issue. I still see guy in the mirror too. I can take a picture I think looks good and the next day I think, "Why did I post this?" I just have a really sucky and piss poor body image problem. I

I do this quite a lot too. As long as I don't see myself in a mirror, I feel serene on estradiol. When I see myself in a mirror, once in a blue moon, I'll see a female looking back at me at just the right angle, etc. Then I start to pick out the guy and I end up close to tears. I used to go to the beach (there's a huge gay beach community here) before I started transitioning, but I've planned  to go the past several weeks and I always find some reason to put it off or blow off the people who want to go with me so I have an excuse then not to go. But there's also when I'm out (still not living full-time because of work) I've started to get stares from random people, and even a couple of times the past 2 or 3 weeks, been called "Ma'am", so I don't know 

It seems that it's something we all go through, for what it's worth :/